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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    1

    Exclamation 'Face Licking Game' with a Child

    I live in Utah and my ex wife lives in California and we share custody of our 5 year old daughter. My ex resides with her fiance and has been together with him for a couple of years. I just discovered from my daughter that she and my ex's fiance play a "face licking game" to gross each other out. He licks her cheeks, forehead, and ears and she licks him back. I am definitely not okay with someone using their tongue to "play games" with my daughter.

    My question is, does this constitute child molestation? If it does, would I have to prove that he has lewd intentions (since he will obviously contest the claim saying it's only a game)?

    Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!

  2. #2

    Default Re: Is This Classified As Child Molestation?

    Penal Code 288(a) Lewd Acts with a Child Under 14 defines a "lewd act on a child" as any touching of the child done with the intent to gratify the lust, passions or sexual desires of either the suspect or a child (anywhere on the child's body).

    It's going to take quite a bit to attempt to show that what's happening is anything OTHER than a game, even a game that might feel creepy or overly "touchy feely". Without an extensive interview of the child by a qualified child psychologist to reveal any other activities or nuances of "the game", on the surface what you're describing isn't going to trigger any sort of molestation investigation. If you believe that something shady is happening here, then get the child to a professional who can make such an evaluation and then assist you in taking appropriate action if warranted. And I can't stress strongly enough that YOU should not be the one to question the child about what's happening - not only are you not trained to do forensic interviewing of a potential victim (you can actually do more HARM than good, even with the best of intentions), you also don't want to destroy any future possibility of prosecution or intervention due to claims that you have extensively discussed the situation with the child - thus opening the door for all sorts of "coaching" defenses, even if not done intentionally on your part.

    On the flip side, it's also entirely possible that indeed, this is innocent play - some people are just more ok with non-sexual physical contact than others - and that in itself doesn't necessarily mean that there is "more to it".
    Catherine NeSmith
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  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    471

    Default Re: Is This Classified As Child Molestation?

    I am familiar with that game and don't think it's sexual it's just a kind of gross out thing that a kid thinks is funny.

    I have done a lot of forensics work on audio tape a suspicious husband secretly recorded. They often build these elaborate scenarios in their mind which almost always turn out to be nothing. Many times there is no one home and the house is silent - except a house is never silent and tiny sounds take on ominous meanings. Now and then the wife is masturbating but I've never had a tape where the wife was with a lover. When there is a lover involved they don't need to get the the tape analyzed it's obvious.

    His role in your ex' life and in your daughters life makes you susceptible to reading more into this then is there - I'm not saying your are doing that only that you are susceptible and I'm saying this for your own peace of mind. Your child probably told you this innocently, she's 5 if there was anything more to it - it would come out the same way. The finance would take steps to protect himself by preemptively claiming she was telling 'weird' stories, or having 'weird' dreams - something to deflect any suspicion.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Louisville, KY
    Posts
    1,823

    Default Re: 'Face Licking Game' with a Child

    I worked with a girl who was barely out of her teens once, and an older fellow employee (a man) walked in and out of the blue one day, licked her face.

    She and I were both severely creeped out by it, and yes, I do believe it contains some sort of weird sexual overtones.

    I'd put a stop to it, immediately.
    ~Christina

    Unless a source is cited, anything posted here by me is only my opinion, and is not meant as legal advice.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Toledo, OH
    Posts
    16,069

    Default Re: 'Face Licking Game' with a Child

    Quote Quoting mmmagique
    View Post
    I worked with a girl who was barely out of her teens once, and an older fellow employee (a man) walked in and out of the blue one day, licked her face.

    She and I were both severely creeped out by it, and yes, I do believe it contains some sort of weird sexual overtones.

    I'd put a stop to it, immediately.
    Context is everything.

    My husband plays a game with my children, our nieces and nephews, and some of the close friends of our children.

    He'll stop in the middle of a conversation and say "You know what?" The kids, who are well familiar with the game, will raise an eyebrow if they're paying attention, or answer "What?" if they're distracted.

    If the answer is "What?", my husband yells "I'M A PUPPY DOG!!! WOOOF!!", and chase down the kid who answered "What?" and lick them all over their face.

    No, I don't know why he does it, but the kids - all of whom are either our own children, our "extra" children, or our nieces and nephews - love it.

    If a stranger did it, though? He'd get kicked in the junk.

    Justin, does your daughter like her mother's future husband? Do they have a good relationship? Or does the game make her feel uncomfortable and scared? It's important to pay attention to the way the child reacts to the game.

    Listen to Aardvarc. She's knowledgeable and sensible. If you're thoroughly convinced something untoward is going on, you want advice from a pro.
    I'm not a lawyer, but I play a researcher on the internet!
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