State residency

[Trominator]

Here's my situation. Perhaps someone has pertinent information that can help:

My daughter is eight and a half and lives with her mother about thirty minutes from me. I have her every other weekend and extra time during summer and holidays. My record of keeping my visits and paying support is impeccable. I live about three and a half hours from my family in another state. I would like to move there to allow my daughter to get to know her grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins better. She loves our visits there. This is even more important for my child than for many, in my opinion because she has no relatives on her mom's side except for one older stepaunt in another state.

My divorce decree states that neither me or my ex can move out of state except for 'compelling reasons' until my daughter finishes high school.

My ex will not agree to me taking my daughter out of state for frequent visits. Rather than fight this out in court, I'm wondering this: If I keep my rental home here, even though I would be working and living in another state, could I avoid having to address this issue in court? My taking my daughter to see my family every other weekend would be my business, I would think. I have also considered taking her there one weekend a month, and visiting with her here the other weekend, to save her the car trips, and as she gets older, increasing her time on the road. I do have my child's best interest in mind.

Has anyone else done this, and if so, how did it work for you? I want to be able to avoid going to court over this issue if I can. Could I be brought to court by my ex for taking my child to see her relatives out of state? Does anyone know if maintaining an address in a state constitutes residency?

[Trominator]

In addition to maintaining a home and address here, my wife may be able to get a transfer to my family's area. Would that constitute a 'compelling reason' for me to move? If necessary, I would keep my residence and address here as long as I needed to, if that is what it would take to be able to transport my daughter back and forth.

My ex does not view my relationship with my daughter as important and would have no problem with my visits being cut to holidays and summers, although she would object to me having my daughter all summer. My understanding is that regardless of her view, the court does view it as important to my child that she see me regularly. I would also think the court would take my good record into consideration.

Should I just go ahead and move, and begin taking my daughter back and forth for visits? Do I risk losing my visitation if I do that, of having it cut severely? That would traumatize my daughter as she and I are very close. Should I try to circumvent the legal issue by commuting, in a sense? My ex no longer qualifies for pro bono services and neither of us have the money for a court battle over this. Yet, she will not discuss it with me nor will she agree to settling it through mediation. When she got pro bono, she initiated court proceedings over each minute detail of visits and support.

Interestingly, my wife's niece began traveling as an infant with her father for visitation over three hours away, yet within the same state. Were I to move to the other end of my state, over six hours away, my ex would apparently not be able to protest visitation in court. Yet, by moving to a location in another state but closer than six hours, she may have a case. What is the legal precedent that makes out of state moves more difficult than longer distance interstate moves?

[Mr. Knowitall]

I would be wary of trying to game the system. I suggest you discuss your situation and plan with a family lawyer in your state, and determine the best manner in which to proceed.