[dieselboss]

My question involves paternity law for the State of: Washington (Her & her sister lives here), Oregon (Her mom & dad lives here) & Idaho (her brother lives here and is an attorney) I am not sure where she is going to have the child.

My ex-fiance is pregnant. We recently seperated due to financial issues. I was having an issue finding a "normal" job because I was self employed for 10 years and recently closed down all of my stores. She wanted me to be a 9 to 5er... After she left, I started meeting with business partners and I am about to get back into the retail store game which should financially stablize me so I don't have to file bankruptcy.

My questions are: What rights do I have as a father? She is not telling me she is pregnant, but I have undeniable proof that she is. She has been inquiring into adoption without my knowledge (or so she thinks). I just don't want my child to be put up for adoption. Is there any way I can step forward, say I am the father and gain custody or at least prevent the adoption? Is she legally and knowingly allowed to just not tell me she is pregnant or do I have the right to know?

[LawResearcherMissy]

She is not telling me she is pregnant, but I have undeniable proof that she is.

Which would be...? No, really. What's your proof?

Having been pregnant twice, I can promise you that no one aside from my doctor had "undeniable proof" of my pregnancies until 1) I told them or 2) I had passed the 6th month and it was quite obvious that I was not merely fat, but quite knocked up.

Do you have undeniable proof that you're the one who impregnated her? What would that be?

Be very careful about claiming "undeniable proof". It could backfire horrifically if the child is not yours.

In the state of Oregon, if you believe you have impregnated someone, you need to register with the Putative Father Registry. When/if an adoption proceeding is initiated, you will receive notice and you may oppose the adoption. If you believe she will go out of state to give birth, you'll need to register in those states as well.

Understand that opposing the adoption does not guarantee you will prevail in court. Understand also that you cannot merely "prevent the adoption" and force this woman to raise the child. Should you prevail in court, be prepared to take on the full responsibilities of parenthood 100%.

Is she legally and knowingly allowed to just not tell me she is pregnant or do I have the right to know?

In the eyes of the law, you are nobody to the potential child until you've legally established paternity. You can't do that until after the child is born.

She is not required to tell you that she's pregnant. She's got the right to mosey over to the abortion clinic and terminate the pregnancy right up to 24 weeks with neither your knowledge nor your "permission" - and could do so even if you were married.

[dieselboss]

: Which would be...? No, really. What's your proof?

Well LawResearcherMissy, if I wanted to share that information it would be up here.

: Having been pregnant twice, I can promise you that no one aside from my
: doctor had "undeniable proof" of my pregnancies until 1) I told them or 2) I
: had passed the 6th month and it was quite obvious that I was not merely
: fat, but quite knocked up.

Like I said, I have the proof. So I have no idea why you are ripping me apart instead of helping me. I am not hear to explain what my proof is, just here to get my questions answered.

: Do you have undeniable proof that you're the one who impregnated her?
: What would that be? Be very careful about claiming "undeniable proof". It
: could backfire horrifically if the child is not yours.

How do I know it was me? Well, for one, we are mormons. We don't "sleep around". I know her VERY well. We were together for 2 1/2 years and I was the person who took her virginity. It seems you are getting defensive for some reason.

: In the state of Oregon, if you believe you have impregnated someone, you
: need to register with the Putative Father Registry. When/if an adoption
: proceeding is initiated, you will receive notice and you may oppose the
: adoption. If you believe she will go out of state to give birth, you'll need to
: register in those states as well.

Well, thank you for answering my question. That's what I was looking for.


: Understand that opposing the adoption does not guarantee you will prevail
: in court. Understand also that you cannot merely "prevent the adoption"
: and force this woman to raise the child. Should you prevail in court, be
: prepared to take on the full responsibilities of parenthood 100%.

I don't want to force her to do anything. I love her. I just don't want be a freakin' deadbeat dad and pretend like it is not happening. I want to do everything I can to help her. I am 29 years old. I think I have a handle on the responsibilities of being a parent.


: In the eyes of the law, you are nobody to the potential child until you've
: legally established paternity. You can't do that until after the child is born.
: She is not required to tell you that she's pregnant. She's got the right to
: mosey over to the abortion clinic and terminate the pregnancy right up to
: 24 weeks with neither your knowledge nor your "permission" - and could do
: so even if you were married.

Abortion, not gonna happen. She is 100% against that. I like how you quote permission there. I am assuming you think I am some forceful a-hole that wants to control her. Wrong. I want to support her.