[thejoker]

My question involves criminal law for the state of: ND

I'm going to make this short and tell you exactly what happened.

Late one Friday night my Mom's boyfriend who lives with us got extremely drunk and shoved my Mom down our hallway into the wall. I was downstairs and heard the arguing that led up to it and eventually a slam at the end of the hallway. I furiously ran up stairs and yelled this exact phrase, "Why don't you act your ****ing age". Upon hearing my Mom's boyfriend who is an inch or two shorter than me, but nearly twice my weight came barrelling down the stairs at me, I quickly ran downstairs to retreat but he was eventually a couple feet away from me saying, "I've never hit you before, I've never hit you before". I do not know what he meant by this but I grabbed the nearest object, maybe 2 pounds in weight with some thick metal hooks at the end, and hit him in the head twice to attempt to get him away from me. He didn't even notice and shoved me against the wall and started to choke me. He was completely on top of me and I could not get him off, his friend had to.

We called the cops and they came over and questioned me and him in seperate rooms; him in the garage and me in the house. No one decided to press any charges and he spent the night at his friends. We did have another cop come over about an hour later to take a picture of the big bruise he left on my arm and a little mark on my neck just in case we had to though. I haven't said a word to him since then (it happened 10 days ago) for obvious reasons.

Now, this is where it gets outrageous. Today we received a letter in the mail telling me that I need to go to Juvenile court with my Mother and her boyfriend for "Simple Assault".

Sorry if this comes off as rude, but I am incredibly angry and confused...

BUT HOW THE HELL AM I AT FAULT HERE.

I'm going to court for protecting me and my Mother. For doing the right thing. I had a big bruise on my arm from where he was holding me and my Mom had a few, but not that noticeable, scratches on her back and he had no signs of anything.

This world is disgusting.

[thejoker]

I have just read the exact definition of "Simple Assault" on Wikipedia and, yeah, I am sure as hell guilty of it, but how is he not charged with anything.

Upon reading the article on "Assault" he should be guilty of one count of Simple Assault on my Mother and Assault on me.

Also, don't you think it's rather radical to charge me with anything considering it was self defense?

[mmmagique]

Hello;

I'm sorry to hear about this. This is just not a good situation for anyone. Do you mind if I ask how old you are?

It is understandable to want to protect your mom. And trying to reason with someone would be preferable to yelling down the hall, however, some people you can't reason with. I suspect this is the case with your mom's boyfriend.

Your mom needs to kick him out and you both need restraining orders.

To answer your first question, I doubt you can claim self-defense since you made first contact, but you may want to contact a lawyer.

Good luck!

~Christina

[thejoker]

Hello;

I'm sorry to hear about this. This is just not a good situation for anyone. Do you mind if I ask how old you are?

It is understandable to want to protect your mom. And trying to reason with someone would be preferable to yelling down the hall, however, some people you can't reason with. I suspect this is the case with your mom's boyfriend.

Your mom needs to kick him out and you both need restraining orders.

To answer your first question, I doubt you can claim self-defense since you made first contact, but you may want to contact a lawyer.

Good luck!

~Christina

I'm seventeen.

The thing I don't understand is that he was charging at me and I was trying to stop him. What was I supposed to do? Let him tackle me down and beat me?

[cyjeff]

There's a long distance between him chasing you and you beating him with a weapon.

[aardvarc]

The difficulty you're going to have is that your actions came FIRST out of anger, NOT out of fear. You already told us that you went upstairs to chastise them. So instead of feeling that there was someone might be in physical danger and calling 911, you decided to initiate a confrontation.

The second difficulty is that you're young, apparantly able-bodied, and hopefully sober at the time - you've got a drunk guy staggering down the stairs - was the front door bolted shut? You don't get to grab a weapon and start headbashing based on what you thought he MIGHT do - he hadn't even taken a swing at you at that point.

These are all things you're likely to hear from the prosecution. Your defense attorney's job is to try to mitigate the circumstances in such a way that those actions are acceptable to a judge or jury. Good luck with that.

On another note, make sure that your mom is aware that some 60% of domestic violence homicides include OTHER family members (like YOU), and that an overwhelming number of children injured in domestic violence situations get those injuries while trying to defend their mother against an abuser. If she won't get out of the situation for herself, remind her that SHE isn't likely to be the only victim.

[cdwjava]

I do not know what he meant by this but I grabbed the nearest object, maybe 2 pounds in weight with some thick metal hooks at the end, and hit him in the head twice to attempt to get him away from me. He didn't even notice and shoved me against the wall and started to choke me. He was completely on top of me and I could not get him off, his friend had to.

So ... you hit him first ... with an object with hooks ... okaaaay ....

Now, this is where it gets outrageous. Today we received a letter in the mail telling me that I need to go to Juvenile court with my Mother and her boyfriend for "Simple Assault".

You are lucky it was not for assault with a deadly weapon.

BUT HOW THE HELL AM I AT FAULT HERE.

Uh ... because you hit him with an object with hooks?

Self defense is an affirmative defense that you can raise at court, but it does not prevent you from an arrest or trial.

Consult local counsel.

- Carl

[cyjeff]

If you read the original post carefully, I think we can figure out why the OP was charged.

His mother was in trouble. He ran up the stairs. He HEARD the confrontation with mom. He HEARD mom's boyfriend come after him. He HEARD mom's boyfriend follow him.

When the boyfriend got to the bottom of the stairs, the OP ambushed him with a two pound weapon with hooks.

Twice he hit the boyfriend in the head.

The boyfriend, until that moment, hadn't been SEEN....

Yeah, an attorney is needed.

[thejoker]

If you read the original post carefully, I think we can figure out why the OP was charged.

His mother was in trouble. He ran up the stairs. He HEARD the confrontation with mom. He HEARD mom's boyfriend come after him. He HEARD mom's boyfriend follow him.

When the boyfriend got to the bottom of the stairs, the OP ambushed him with a two pound weapon with hooks.

Twice he hit the boyfriend in the head.

The boyfriend, until that moment, hadn't been SEEN....

Yeah, an attorney is needed.

What? This is ludicrous to me. Why is everyone disregarding the fact that my Mother had just been assaulted?

There were also two witnesses, why weren't they called to court? The boyfriend's friend witnessed the whole thing. And my little sister, unfortunately, had to see him chase me.

You guys seem to think that I am the bad guy in this. Try to picture the situation. Pretend you were me:

You're downstairs in your room minding your own business. You hear your Mom and her boyfriend arguing about something very trivial, in this case giving the dog water which was upsetting him for some reason. After a little while of bickering there's a silence and then you here some tumbling and a loud crash from the upstairs hallway followed by your Mom saying, "Why would you do that, why did you push me, etc etc." while she is crying. You are absolutely furious because you hate the man because of they way he treats the family and this is not the first time he has assaulted your Mom. You walk to the stairs and yell at him which pisses him off like none other. He shouts something back, something you cannot understand, and he barrels towards you reminding you of how he's never hit you before in a sinister voice making it sound like a shame that he hasn't had to opportunity to do so yet. As he comes down the stairs, his drunkenness makes him stumble a little giving you time to retreat, but it isn't long enough and within a couple of seconds he is right on your heels. You take a right into the den and realize that you are cornered and you're about the get the shit kicked out of you.

What would you do? Would you stand there and get your ass kicked or would you grab the first object you see and try to fend him off? From what you guys are telling me, I should've gotten my ass kicked. Hell, you guys are making it sound like I am a bad guy for even yelling at him after he assaulted my Mom.

This is just surreal to me. I realize that I clubbed him twice in the head but it was in an attempt to get him to stop coming towards me. He would've continued to choke me until I was unconscious if his friend hadn't gotten him off of me. My Mom and I are the victims here. Not her asshole boyfriend and I am not going to let myself be charged with anything.

EDIT: There was no phone downstairs to call 911 and I wouldn't have done it anyway because I wasn't sure the extent of what happened. Instead I just yelled at him, which isn't a crime. My Mom called 911 as he was charging me down the stairs.

[cyjeff]

When you heard your mother being assaulted, you should have FOUND a phone and dialed 911. Instead, you decided to add gasoline to an already blazing fire by screaming up the stairs.

Then you ran away. And then you are surprised you were chased.

Then you beat him in the head not once but twice with what could have easily become a deadly weapon.

I am not defending your victim's actions. He should be charged as well.

But you both should be charged.