How Do We Change Court Order Without Court

**ranger068** · 06-25-2008, 10:15 AM

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: MN

50/50 joint physical and legal custody CO. A little background information. Orginal CO that we have says that niether parent can move more than 30miles away from each other to keep our current schedule of Wed.-Sat. Sun-Wed. due to school distances from homes etc. Well Mom wants to move over 45miles away about alittle over an hr from my house where daughter will be attending school next year. This may sound familiar to some of you because I posted before but this question is going to be different. Mom called out of the blue and decided that she wants me to have our daughter Sunday 6pm- Friday 6pm every week and one weekend a month and she have other three weekends. from Fri. 6pm-Sunday6pm so that she is allowed to move. Holiday schedules would stay the same. And summer I would have the weekends and she would have the weekdays.
Couple of questions: How do I go about getting paperwork for this? What kind of paperwork do I need to get? Signed off on parenting schedule in detail? What if I cannot get her to chance the CO and wants an agreement between just the two of us?
Can she switch it back after I allow her to move if we have an agreement on this schedule? I want to make sure she spends as much time as she can with our daughter, but I also want our daughter to have stable environment and moving all the time is not good on her as I plan to stay in the same place for a very long time so I don't think that switching would be in our daughters best interest if we arrange this schedule unless if her mother moves back to the area of the school district.
I guess my questions is how do I go about proceeding with this in the best possible way? I plan on contacting my lawyer about it, but our case is over 6 years old and hasn't had alot of time to chat with me when I had questions before. The next appointment I can get in is a couple of weeks away. Can any of you give me some advice? Thanks.

**Dad2** · 06-25-2008, 11:10 AM

You can't change a court order unless theres a court order to change it.
Who's on first.
Either mom (and you) are allowed to do something, or not.
If you have the child Sunday to Friday, that would make you the custodial parent. You would be entitled to Child support, and the tides would turn.
If I was in your shoes, and wanted to be the custodial parent, this is hat I would do....
Yes dear. That's fine dear. Whatever you need dear. Play dumb ( not a stretch for me)
After 6 months, take her to court for custody. You already have a much better chance of winning after your child being with you 80% of the time, for 6 months.
But you having your child 23 out of 30 days is not exactly 50/50.
If you want to keep paying child support for a child that you are taking care of, that's your business

But whatever you decide to do, need to be signed off by a judge, for it to be legal.

**ranger068** · 06-25-2008, 11:19 AM

Well, she wants the change. WE currently do not have child support payments to either person. WE both have 50/50 split and we choose not to order each other to pay support. I just want to have the custody order changed...not sure if we need to go through the motions etc if both parents agree to it. Do we get an agreement signed off by court or what our my options. BEcuase I am not going to changed the schedule and allow her to move and then decide she wants to go back to court order and shuffle daughter back and forth from school over an hour each morning. I want to protect my daughter and myself from her playing any tricks.

**Dad2** · 06-25-2008, 05:31 PM

Then write it down, the way you want. And end it with something to the effect of "These orders are to stand for a period of 2 years regardless of moms residency"
This protects your child from "back and forth"
And, after 2 years, if she moves back. and wants the child, you have a great case, and reason to object to the move back to be back with mom 50/50.
Either way, you need to file for a mod in court, get a date, and go back.
Mom may not have to be there, if you rite something up, and get it notarized. But check with the court to be sure.