Advice About Bullying

[Mr. Knowitall]

Oh, that would be brilliant - you, a self-described "professional fighter" beating up a child and going to jail (or prison), to show the world how unfair life is.

[LawResearcherMissy]

I mean, what else am I supposed to do?

You keep your wits about you, DO NOT so much as BREATHE in the general direction of the bullies, and just keep calling the cops, reporting the incidents to the school and document, document, document until you get a cop who will do something.

It may well take some time.

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this, but dude, seriously? As someone in a similar situation? I've learned that you have to be the grown-up. You have to remain calm and rational and don't pull any stupid crap.

Don't even TALK about pulling stupid crap. Aside from setting a poor example for your son, it can get you into more trouble, when what you need is less.

[hunting]

Ok Mr. Know-it-all and lawresearchermissy,

Point taken. And I feel foolish for having written it. I am just pissed off.

On the same token though, how am I supposed to live with myself as a parent if I didn't do anything? I mean it's not UN heard of that children have died under similar situations. These kids have some issues and what is to say they do not lure him away somehow and do something?

I know, I know, it was completely irrational and stupid on my part to suggest what I did...I will take the flames for those remarks.

Thanks to the both of you for bringing me back to reality.

Now that we have all that out of the way, any other suggestions I can try (legally). I believe I have tried everything suggested so far. I just want it to freaking stop and I don't want my son hurt anymore.

Sorry to sound like I am whining here. I just can't say it enough I am just extremely frustrated.

I did meet with the school again yesterday and I really like the principal and he even agrees that the people involved, off the record, "have some issues".

Thanks again for your replies, and keeping me in line......

**Edit**

Yes, lawresearchermissy. I am doing exactly that. I am also getting all incident reports from, school(S), Police, and statements from other parents who can also attest to the fact that these kids have bullied/caused trouble with their kids. Just not to this level. Thank you for that advice.

[hunting]

Quick question,

My ex called the police station to get all the incident reports we have filed. The officer told her that they don't always document all cases. Meaning all the times we have complained and they said they would speak to child/parents may not have been documented!

Is that correct? I would think that would be a mandatory thing not a "do it if the officer feels like it thing"?

Any thoughts?

***Note to those suggesting legal counsel****

Legal counsel is really not an option. My ex doesn't have a lot of money as she is supporting a new family. Myself, I was in a coma in November for respiratory failure and now only have 40% capacity with my lungs with "no reserves and air trapping occurring" so I have been out of work for some time and cannot "fight" anymore(not that I was making much there). I did own my own computer business but when I got that sick it obviously went down the toilet. I am now trying to get my business going again but obviously cannot afford the money something like this would take.

[cdwjava]

My ex called the police station to get all the incident reports we have filed. The officer told her that they don't always document all cases. Meaning all the times we have complained and they said they would speak to child/parents may not have been documented!

That may be the case.

If they respond to something they do no believe is criminal, they are less likely to "document" the incident beyond a dispatch report of the call. If it is a crime or a serious incient of some kind, then it is more likely a report or some sort of entry exists somewhere.

Is that correct? I would think that would be a mandatory thing not a "do it if the officer feels like it thing"?

If we had to write a report for every call, you would not be able to afford your police department. A 7 minute field contact could result in 30 to 60 minutes of paperwork or more ... it just is not feasible.


- Carl

[hunting]

Yeah, I see your point. That makes sense. I will find out Monday all the reports they have.

I guess at this point we will just keep documenting everything that happens to the letter.

It is interesting to point out that since I did what I did (allegedly), these kids haven't said anything, gone near, or even looked at my child at all.

I am praying that maybe that is what they needed is just a little shake up. Sad? But maybe true?

I don't know. My ex and I have just wanted it to stop and at least for the time, my son is going through a bit or a reprieve from the abuse.

I will deal with my charges as I need to. I don’t feel I did anything wrong so let the pieces fall where they may.

Thank you all for your time, advice, and making me keep my head straight. My son and I really appreciate it. You guys are great.

[LawResearcherMissy]

On the same token though, how am I supposed to live with myself as a parent if I didn't do anything? I mean it's not UN heard of that children have died under similar situations. These kids have some issues and what is to say they do not lure him away somehow and do something?

Think of this as a good opportunity to talk to you son about the importance of NEVER responding to bullies.

It's a hard lesson to learn sometimes, but it's an important one, and one that will keep the authorities on his side (and yours).

My son has a short fuse and will really get his dander up about the bullies. He's ready to go out with a roll of duct tape and a bat, he's been dealing with this crap for YEARS.

But we tell him NO, and we don't go out borrowing trouble either. We don't think we'd be doing a good job of keeping him safe if we let our tempers get the better of us, so we keep telling him (and repeating to ourselves) to let the authorities handle it, it's what they're there for, and sooner or later, the bullies are going to give the authorities the opening they need to get the little hooligans off the street.

I understand how you feel. I would kill and die for my children, no hesitation. I understand wanting to ride down on those little hellions like the Wrath of God. But you have to remind yourself that you do your kid no good when you're cooling your heels in the hoozegow.

It is interesting to point out that since I did what I did (allegedly), these kids haven't said anything, gone near, or even looked at my child at all.

Sounds like you've reached the turning point.

It will all shake out in your son's favor in the end. Karma is excruciatingly good about that sort of thing.

[hunting]

Thank you very much again for the advice and support.

You most certainly have my sympathy regarding your family. I hope everything works out for the best your son….and you.

My son is a very kind, sensitive person. He can hold his own as he has shown but I don't want him to grow up like I did. (His mother’s worst fear it seems)


Too much anger. But that's for a different forum.


What I do know is my Son has been coming home happy from school for the last week and a half.


Thanks again all for walking me through this. While I don't think it's done(I hope it is), you guys have giving me the tools to work with in dealing with it.

I hope everything works out for all of you.