Ex Wants To Stop Paying Support And Get Child Support, But I Can't Work

[amypolnoff]

In California, my ex made our divorce very ugly. After I received custody of three of my five children (2 were out of control and I requested they live with him), he kept serving me with OSC's causing me to constantly go to court. He also kept picking the kids up from school and making me insane with worry and get into a battle of wills in order for me to get the kids back. I finally let him have physical custody of all the kids and he provide support for me and the kids for when they came to see me. I am Bi-polar and there are many reasons due to this that I can not work. My ex started sending me some vulgar emails (long story including my two 15 year old boys going through my dresser drawers and finding personal things that became a joke at his house with his new wife being involved as well). He was reading these emails to my three 15 year olds, 14 year old and an 11 year old. I finally got fed up and filed for custody of the children again because he has shown he is not a responsible and sensible parent. He has filed to keep custody and stop my support and force me to go to work and make me pay him support. Two of my children have taken sides and refuse to see me and three will still visit me. My disability has not yet been determined by the SSI and my SDI is going to expire the day after we are scheduled to go to court. If I can't make enough to live and the judge determines against me, what will happen? Do I stand a chance getting my children back, keeping my support payments, or at least keeping my disability from being levied based on his behavior? If I end up having to pay support, will I be required to pay support for the two children who have decided they do not want to see me? We have been in court so many times, the judge has set it for trial. How can I get his income records subpoenaed from his employer and subpoena witnesses? I know this is a lot of questions, but I can not afford an attorney and I am afraid I am going to loose on all counts.

[525601minutes]

If I can't make enough to live and the judge determines against me, what will happen?

How do you support yourself? It sounds like you are dependent on the child support for your own food and shelter. That's not what it is for. Since you said that your SSI has not been established and your SDI expires the day after court; perhaps you can ask that the Court delay the hearing until your disability is confirmed and you know your income situation. If you are not approved for SSI then you are going to have to get a job to support yourself and pay the fair amount of income to provide for your children based on CA guidelines.

Do I stand a chance getting my children back, keeping my support payments, or at least keeping my disability from being levied based on his behavior?

It sounds like you let him bully you into giving him the kids without either of you seeking a modification of the original court order. Is that correct?? You have not shown here anything done by the father that is grounds for his not having custody of the kids - the Court likes parents to have 'shared' custody unless there is a valid reason why one of you should not be with the kids...


If I end up having to pay support, will I be required to pay support for the two children who have decided they do not want to see me?
YES


We have been in court so many times, the judge has set it for trial. How can I get his income records subpoenaed from his employer and subpoena witnesses?

I don't know anything about witnesses - here is the form you need to have served on his employer to get his income verified.

http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/forms/documents/fl397.pdf


I know this is a lot of questions, but I can not afford an attorney and I am afraid I am going to loose on all counts.

Have you checked to see if you qualify for any type of free legal aid? At the very least you should go to your county's Family Law Facilitator's office and have them give you free advice on how to proceed.

[CourtClerk]

I doubt very seriously that the OP has standing to file a 397 with her ex's employer. She's made absolutely no statement regarding the fact that she has served upon him an I&E and he's refused to complete it (which is required in order to have the employer fill out the 397. She simply wants to subpeona the payroll records.

Now, if he's pursing support from her (which he should), then I&E's will have to be filled out anyway, so why the need to subpeona? The ball is all the way in his court at this point. He has 5 children in his custody, it is to his BENEFIT to fill it out, so I'm quite sure he will as soon as he serves her with the modification of support. If anything it would be her that I would worry wouldn't fill one out.

Will you have to pay support for the children that refuse to see you? Absolutely. They are still children, they still have expenses and they still have the right to be supported by both parents. You have alternatives that you can pursue in order to get your visitation, but I would highly recommend counseling instead to get down to whatever issues your kids have with you. To have 1 that doesn't want to visit maybe... but 2?

As far as a change in custody, you've said nothing that would pose a significant change in circumstance in order to warrant a change in custody.

[525601minutes]

I doubt very seriously that the OP has standing to file a 397 with her ex's employer. She's made absolutely no statement regarding the fact that she has served upon him an I&E and he's refused to complete it (which is required in order to have the employer fill out the 397.

Hopefully she will not lie on number two on the form and get someone to help with the upcoming court date...

[CourtClerk]

She wouldn't want to dig that kind of hole for herself. Especially since she wants to pursue custody also. Lying to the court doesn't make you look good.