When Should A Bio Dad Be Declined Parental Rights

[coloradodad08]

My daughter's biological dad had not seen her in more than one year (I hardly call 3 hours in 18months interested in the child) he had not paid child support for almost 1 year (wanting to be involved just because you have to pay support is hardly a devoted dad). her biological dad tried to come to court with all kinds of excuses and the court found it was in her best interest to have her bio dad's rights terminated and me to adopt. Sometimes it is absolutely in the child's best interest to not have a bio parent involved. Just because you gave the genes does not make you a dad, never has and it never will. This dad should have and could have been in volved from day one, but now he wants to be super dad.. Give me a break.

[panther10758]

Your not paying attention. I agree 3 hours is hardly interest. However your case and this one are apples and oranges. True or not Dad states he wants to be in child's life. Mom does not have the right to refuse that. Nor does having Dad in one home and Mom in another make it a bad situation as you presume. If both parents are caring then it can be just fine. Once more onr parent cannot take the other parents rights away. If during the visits (50/50 or otherwise) either parent sees possible harm, danger etc they can seek to have order modified. do not condem Dad because he now wants to do the right thing! I am not saying this man will or will not be a great Dad or if his motives are good or not. I am saying Mom cannot take his rights away just because she kicked him out of her bed.

[coloradodad08]

I think that having 2 bio parents is a good thing, not always the best thing. This baby has no idea who this man is. I would be saddened to see a court say that she must go stay 50% of her time with a total stranger and stranger is exactly what he is. My daughter's bio dad tried to show interest too.. it was too little too late. I think that the mom needs to do what she believes is right. I would not in a million years send my 18 month old baby to stay with a complete stranger. Would you?

[panther10758]

Once more your bias over your own story has clouded your vision. This is not a stranger its the child's Father. Keeping the child from the Father makes child and Father more strangers. Mom cannot decide to take away his rights end story! Also worth noting Dad says he going for 50/50 custody this means there is likely no current custody order. Its also safe assumption ther eis no support order. This means Dad doesnt have to pay anythng yet and anything he does pay is considered a gift. Dad is not a stranger unless Mom has her way.

[chowchowkathi]

I'm with Co on this one. It's very suspicious that the father only wants 50/50 when a child support order is filed. And any father that did not care enough to contribute to the financial support of their child for 18 months (gift or not) would have to show me he was a lot more interested in being a father and not just trying to get out of paying child support.
I have many friends who were excellent fathers and were denied 50/50 visitation. The court proceedings were a farce because in many cases it was the mother who was trying to get sole custody just to be able to RECIEVE child support. And I don't think that's right either...but giving a child to a complete stranger just because he gave birth to her? I don't have any bias and can't see that being in the best interest of the child.

[panther10758]

Your both missing the point. There is no legal grounds to take this child from its Father. No judge is going to do this. All the touchy feely post of understanding wont change these facts. I never disagreed that Father might be bad however he has now made an effort. Thats a good thing! All your arguements wont change anything. Its very unlikely this Mom will be granted sole custody if Dad wants custody as well.

[chowchowkathi]

Actually I don't think that I am. I was posting my comments based on what the court considers the best interest of the child. As I said before, I think it's very wrong that fathers who have been great dads are denied 50/50 custody. And it may be, that is the case here. We don't and probably won't know either way. Again, this was my interpretation of what the law is in Wisconsin. There are several points that can be addressed from that.
Additionally, asking for sole custody does not sound as if she's suggesting his parental rights be terminated.
By the way...I didn't see anywhere in this woman's post that she kicked him out of her bed. Now THAT sounds biased.

[coloradodad08]

It is equally unlikely that the dad would be granted 50/50.

[525601minutes]

All we know is that this dad asked for shared custody after he was served with papers asking for CS.

In a perfect world mom and dad would be legally married and living happily together. It makes me sad for our children that this is not a perfect world.

We are told that this father had nothing to do with the child since birth - except one three hour visit. Unfortunately, legally, he had no right to visit his child as there was no court order in place. For all we know he did not even know that he could have tried to have a relationship with the child as soon as paternity was legally established.

The OP does not state if she offered the father an opportunity to be involved in the child's life. The OP also does not tell us if she asked the father to provide any CS $ previously or why she waited 18 months to ask the Court for a CS order. A LOT of people think that if they don't pay they are not allowed to see their own kids - perhaps the OP thought this as well - perhaps the father thought so too.. we just don't know.

Thanks to Aaron's post we do know the specific things the Court does consider to be and not to be in the child's best interests. Unless the OP tells us more we should all go with the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing and hope that this child is afforded the love and financial support and equal care taking from both parents.

[panther10758]

Fianlly a voice of reason and reply without assumptions. Thank you 525