Assault On An Adult By A Minor In California

[whatsyurprob]

Hi,

Sooner or later I'm going to have to defend myself against an assault by my girlfriends son who is 15. His mother and I have been together for almost 12 years now and yes, he's always been with us. He lives upstairs with his mothers parents (his grandparents) while his mom and I live downstairs in a studio. His grandparents have always wished I were dead and have in the last year been 'needling' him into physically encountering me. His mother can't control him and I go out of my way not to be in his presence. If he's outside I stay in. If I'm outside and he comes out, I go back inside. I've even had to barricade my door on three separate occasions so he couldn't get in. I've had the police here about it and have even went to the station to try and get some relief. I've actually been told that I can not touch him even if he attacks me. In a nut-shell, I've been told that I can't defend myself because he's a minor. What I'd like to do is allow him to assault me and finally put him in his place. I wouldn't have to antagonize him. I also know that I'd have to have a witness. Would his mother suffice in this matter?

Thanx

[cdwjava]

He lives upstairs with his mothers parents (his grandparents) while his mom and I live downstairs in a studio.

Why doesn't he live with his mother?

His grandparents have always wished I were dead and have in the last year been 'needling' him into physically encountering me.

And why would they be doing this?

I've actually been told that I can not touch him even if he attacks me. In a nut-shell, I've been told that I can't defend myself because he's a minor.

If someone actually told you that, they're a moron. Chances are what they said was something akin to:

"If you DO defend yourself, and he gets hurt, you might end up going to jail. As the adult, you will be the one usually expected to de-escalate any encounter."

I doubt some officer actually told you that you could NOT defend yourself because he was a minor. There is no such law in CA.

What I'd like to do is allow him to assault me and finally put him in his place. I wouldn't have to antagonize him. I also know that I'd have to have a witness. Would his mother suffice in this matter?

An unprovoked assault is a misdemeanor .. the officers would almost certainly cite and release him back into mom's custody. And if THEY did not, juvenile hall would likely call that same day and order her to come pick him up.

An arrest might cool his jets ... or, it might teach him that the criminal justice system won't touch him (it depends on the county you live in how tough things will be on him).

I would think a lot of family counseling might be in order.

Or, maybe, you and mom move out of the same house ... if the grandparents have custody, then that should be simple. If the kid is living with them because mom wants to shack up with her boyfriend (you) and the kid gets the boot to make room, then shame on her (and you).

- Carl

[whatsyurprob]

Hey guy, I just ask for some advice, not for U or anyone else to be my judge.

Just like a cop. Ask a question and the next thing ya know you're being searched and dictated to. Keep your opinions to yourself from now on.

[cdwjava]

Hey guy, I just ask for some advice, not for U or anyone else to be my judge.

And advice was provided.

Perhaps it's not such a mystery as to why you are having these problems.

Just like a cop. Ask a question and the next thing ya know you're being searched and dictated to. Keep your opinions to yourself from now on.

Nah, I shall opine as I see fit.

You have your legal response, you may also receive the moral nagging as well. Apparently my comments struck a nerve ... perhaps you ought to consider what is really at the root of the problem with your girlfriend's son ... or, well, maybe SHE ought to consider what the problem is. It's not like you are her husband or anything.

- Carl

[whatsyurprob]

And advice was provided.

Perhaps it's not such a mystery as to why you are having these problems.


Nah, I shall opine as I see fit.

You have your legal response, you may also receive the moral nagging as well. Apparently my comments struck a nerve ... perhaps you ought to consider what is really at the root of the problem with your girlfriend's son ... or, well, maybe SHE ought to consider what the problem is. It's not like you are her husband or anything.

- Carl

The more U move your stubby little fingers, the dumber we all become for reading it.

[cdwjava]

The more U move your stubby little fingers, the dumber we all become for reading it.

Stubby? Little?

Well, we're not the ones with the 15-year-old trying to pummel them all the time. Obviously he is angry about something - as are his grandparents. You really need to look at the root cause of this problem.

But, yeah, you can allow him to thump you and then send him off to juvenile hall without identifying and dealing with the root cause - I guess that's parenting, too.

- Carl

[jayman]

Can you believe this guy, he asks for advice, and then becomes an ass about it. "Hey jerk, next time that little 15 year old picks on you and you can not handle it, bust his ass."