What To Do After Learning of Spouse's Affair

[Amander]

California

My brother has 4 kids, the oldest he legally adopted and the younger 3 are his biologically.

He found out the day after their sons 3rd b-day (maybe 2 weeks ago) that his wife is having an affair. He wants to go to counseling, she "just wants to be happy." They own a house and possibly cars together. She's a masseuse who rents a room at a chiropractors office (she had the affair with the chiropractor) He works full time.

He is completely devastated. Any suggestions on things he should do, steps he should take?

[525601minutes]

Unfortunately, in CA it does not matter if one spouse is cheating on the other - all property, assets and bills need to be split 50/50. If the wife or husband decide that they "deserve" more than they can try to convince the other spouse. If both agree, no problem, but if one does not like it they can/will fight tooth and nail and the lawyers love it because the more you fight, the more they get paid.

After all of the fighting between the lawyers, if you still can not settle on your own, a judge will decide. And in the end, the judge will try to split everything 50/50. I know exactly how your friend feels as I was in the same situation with a cheating spouse - and someone can not be counseled if they don't think they have a problem. If they do decide to divorce I suggest using a mediator instead of slugging things out.