Results 1 to 5 of 5
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Omaha, NE
    Posts
    26

    Default As The Custodial Parent, Am I Allowed To Take Vacations With My Kids Out Of State?

    I plan to take vacation sometime next summer for two weeks out of state with the kids. My ex is stationed overseas as he is in the military and can not afford to come back to the states at this point as well as have the kids travel overseas to visit him, but he says that I am not allowed to take the kids on vacations out of state without a signed "permission slip" from the courts stating that I can do this.

    I have talked to my lawyer about this and my lawyer says that "he does not know what he is talking about". Basically, all I want to do is to travel out of state so that my kids can see their other grandparents and family members even if it means traveling a day and a half just to get there. Thus, I have looked through the divorce decree and it does not state anything about me having to sign a document stating that I can take my kids out of state on vacations. And so my ex claims that he will file kidnapping charges against me if I do this next summer. My sister also lives up in that area and my ex claims that he will file charges also against my sister and her husband, as her husband is also in the military.

    Last year, Jan 2007, I did have issues with my ex almost not wanting to return the kids to me so I ended up going to the courts to make him bring the kids back....that is why it is most important to have something signed stating that there will be a change to the divorce decree, my ex and I just had a verbal agreement. In his eyes, I was claiming kidnapping charges against him in all aspect so I am thinking that he thinks he can get away with getting me with kidnapping charges.

    Anyhow, we do have joint custody in this arrangement. I wonder though if I will have to go back to the consolidation courts to see if my ex is true what he says. I know I should also listen to my lawyer but I truly do not want to do something that will affect this siuation in the end. The kids are already affected by this....my son, who is the oldest, does not like to talk to his father on the phone anymore and even rejects seeing videos of him. I only hope that it will get better from here. So, if this has happend to any of you, please let me know what you think I should do at this point.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    1,948

    Default Re: As The Custodial Parent, Am I Allowed To Take Vacations With My Kids Out Of State

    What state are you in? As your kids are military dependents, do you have access to base legal?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    12

    Default Re: As The Custodial Parent, Am I Allowed To Take Vacations With My Kids Out Of State

    Your lawyer should be able to get clarification on this matter. I was informed that if I leave the country that I would need permission from my daughter's father to obtain a passport but then it also states in my court order that the child's primary residence is with the custodial parent (ME) without restriction to military- my husband is also in the military. So I would look into that. I don't think it would be a problem with regards to you trying to visit your husband overseas.

    Wish you the best. Hope your child's father isn't bullheaded like my daughter's father. If everyone would just "think about the kids" and not let their own emotions get in the way... this world would be a better place.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    12

    Default Re: As The Custodial Parent, Am I Allowed To Take Vacations With My Kids Out Of State

    ... don't know why I didn't even think of that....

    that's right. As a military dependent you do have access to the military Legal Office... that would be your best bet. I'm sure the attorneys there will be able to assist you at no cost :-)

    I think I need to make a call to them myself lol

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Omaha, NE
    Posts
    26

    Default Re: As The Custodial Parent, Am I Allowed To Take Vacations With My Kids Out Of State

    I am no longer a military dependent as I am divorced to this military man. But my kids are dependents. I do have the authority to take them to the military hospital though for their regular check ups, but that is all. The kids do have their own dependent ids, though.

    Unfortunately, when it comes to the kids traveling overseas, I was kind of hoping that their father would take the responsibility to pick up the kids and have them go with him overseas for the summertime. But with the military, this can not be done all of the time and according to his unit in Germany, he can not have the opportunity to take special trips like that. So because he claims that his unit will not allow for him to take this special kind of leave, he claims that he will have his sister come to pick up the kids in NE to go overseas. But he has not given me a physical address for Germany yet. And I fear that he will not return the kids back after the summertime. He has done this before to me when he was just stationed 14hrs from the kids. We had a verbal agreement as to him having the kids for just three months. After a couple of weeks, he did not plan on bringing them back until six or seven months down the road.

    Basically, I was recovering from losing my job and my apartment and was staying with my parents at the time. He and his wife (more of his wife though) were saying that I need to get settled in first before they would return the kids back to me. Plus they were having a lot of problems with our son, who was just four at the time. He did not want to listen to them. So they wanted to get him checked out for ADHD...this I did not have a problem with because he(my ex) had the right to get him checked out. However, everyone I knew was telling me about the medication part for ADHD kids and that my son was way too young to be medicated and to be checked out for ADHD. So I felt bad about my son being checked out for this procedure. Bottom line, my ex claimed that since he could not handle his son, I was not doing my part as the parent and taking care of him the way I should have been doing.

    I know that for you, being the reader, you do not know for certain what is really going on and I do not expect that you will understand for the most part. But I have raised both of the kids more than their own father has. I make sure their is a roof over their heads. I make sure that their clothes are clean. I make sure that they are properly fed. And I enjoy playing with them every chance that I can get, as they are still very young and enjoy being kids. Their father may be in the military and may not always be in the kids lives when he wants to be but he seems to think that whatever his wife tells him must be true.

    I tell you now, I am without trust for my ex because he does not make decisions for himself but for what his wife tells him. I have seen how she tells him what to do in my own home when things were not so bad between us. My sister has seen this and so has my best friend. I want to say that he can have the summertime with the kids, I really do. I want to say that he is one I can trust. But it does not seem that he even puts in the effort to do just that. Heck even today, his own son does not like to talk to him on the phone and this really upsets me. Our daughter on the other hand, loves to talk on the phone and loves people all together...especially, her own father. She tells me she misses him. But I suppose with our oldest who is our son, he does not quite comprehend why his father is not here like I am in his life. I do my part though, in telling my kids that their father still loves them but I suppose that is not enough.

    All I know is that I do plan on taking my kids out of state to visit their other grandparents, next summer. My ex husband may think that it is his shot at trying to get me with kidnapping the kids but for the most part, I know better. I have checked with my lawyer and she still claims that my ex is a fool to even think of filing kidnapping charges against me. I only hope that she is giving me the right information.

    1. Sponsored Links
       

Similar Threads

  1. Interstate Issues: Non Custodial Parent Moves Out of State and Now Wants Extended Vacations with Kids
    By aiimages in forum Child Custody and Visitation
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 08-05-2011, 08:13 AM
  2. Right of Custodial Parent After Non Custodial Parent Moves Out of State
    By groove in forum Child Custody and Visitation
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 04-14-2011, 07:06 PM
  3. Non-Custodial Parent Hiding Kids on Visits
    By retawtrams in forum Child Custody and Visitation
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 03-26-2010, 12:24 PM
  4. Custodial Parent Allowed Child To Participate In Sports While Sick
    By julesthequeen in forum Child Custody and Visitation
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 04-05-2008, 03:30 PM
  5. Replies: 5
    Last Post: 02-11-2008, 07:55 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
 
Forum Sponsor
Custody Lawyer
Get help for your custody case. Consult a divorce lawyer for free.




Untitled Document