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  1. #1

    Default When Can A Child Decide Not To Visit The Other Parent

    I have three children ages 12, 10 and 7. They do not want to visit their other parent. I have been told (by the children) about abuse and neglect issues. I have reported the concerns to authority and they have been dismissed several times due to lack of "physical evidence". When can my children decide for themselves if they want to continue visiting the other parent?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
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    1,948

    Default Re: Can A 12 Yr Old Decide Not To Visit The Other Parent?

    Unless you have your court ordered child custody/visitation schedule modified it is up to you and the father to abide by the ruling. If you file for a modification, the court will take the child's request under consideration, but will not likely change the set structure unless there has been some sort of dramatic change since the last order.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
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    Default Re: When Can A Child Decide Not To Visit The Other Parent

    Quote Quoting concernedmommy
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    When can my children decide for themselves if they want to continue visiting the other parent?
    When they become adults. Or, when a Judge officially modifies the existing order.

  4. #4

    Default Re: Can A 12 Yr Old Decide Not To Visit The Other Parent?

    Quote Quoting 525601minutes
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    Unless you have your court ordered child custody/visitation schedule modified it is up to you and the father to abide by the ruling. If you file for a modification, the court will take the child's request under consideration, but will not likely change the set structure unless there has been some sort of dramatic change since the last order.
    I have a similar situation. My 13 year old step-daughter lives with me and her father, there is no formal visitation court order (it was left to the parents to arrange visitation), and she really -- I mean actively -- does not want to see her mother. We live in Pennsylvania now, and her mother lives in New Jersey. The original divorce and child support cases were done in New Jersey.

    According to what I've been able to find on New Jersey visitation laws, the judge will take her preferences into account since she is 13 when there is a court order for visitation, but what happens in cases where there is no official visitation order? Are we required to make our daughter see her mother when she doesn't want to? And what is the stance on traveling arrangements? The mother wants us to do all the work, using our time, money and gas to bring our daughter to her and pick her up.

    Any advice appreciated.

  5. #5
    panther10758 Guest

    Default Re: When Can A Child Decide Not To Visit The Other Parent

    If there is no order then the child does not have to see the other parent.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    2,032

    Default Re: When Can A Child Decide Not To Visit The Other Parent

    Quote Quoting concernedmommy
    View Post
    I have three children ages 12, 10 and 7. They do not want to visit their other parent. I have been told (by the children) about abuse and neglect issues. I have reported the concerns to authority and they have been dismissed several times due to lack of "physical evidence". When can my children decide for themselves if they want to continue visiting the other parent?
    When they are 18. Unless you live in Ga.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Omaha, NE
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    26

    Default Re: Can A 12 Yr Old Decide Not To Visit The Other Parent?

    [QUOTE=frustrated-step;183895]I have a similar situation. My 13 year old step-daughter lives with me and her father, there is no formal visitation court order (it was left to the parents to arrange visitation), and she really -- I mean actively -- does not want to see her mother. We live in Pennsylvania now, and her mother lives in New Jersey. The original divorce and child support cases were done in New Jersey.

    According to what I've been able to find on New Jersey visitation laws, the judge will take her preferences into account since she is 13 when there is a court order for visitation, but what happens in cases where there is no official visitation order? Are we required to make our daughter see her mother when she doesn't want to? And what is the stance on traveling arrangements? The mother wants us to do all the work, using our time, money and gas to bring our daughter to her and pick her up.

    Any advice appreciated.[/QUO

    I was in the same boat awhile ago. My ex husband is in the military. When he was stateside, he lived just 14hrs from his kids. At one point, we started to meet halfway for pick up and return of the kids. ((Gosh, I hate putting that way, as the kids are on special delivery or something)). But this special schedule only happend just once the right way. Next thing you know, I had to go to court just to get the kids back. My ex and I share custody of the kids as of now, though. For the moment, I can not afford to take this issue back to court to get full cusody. I have physical custody of the kids since he is in the military. At the time of the divorce, an official visitation order was in place, however, it does not reflect that of a military divorce. So, my ex and I thought that it would be okay to change the divorce decree so that His visitation will be scheduled for the summertime, instead of just two weeks throughout the year. I was talking to my lawyer about this change and she told me that even though the decree states that he, my ex, gets two weeks of visitation for the year, we can have a written statement saying that he can have the kids for the summertime. And that is what is meant with the decree. As long as we work with that, then there will be no issues in the future. And more imporatantly, the decree does not have to be changed. I have been told that if a reasonable visitation schedule has not been chosen, then one will be chosen for the parties, though. So when it does come to your situation, I don't think that it is possible for you guys not have a schedule planned out with the decree.....it is more than likely that the courts will decide for you a schedule if you do not have one planned. But yet, I do not know what the laws are like in your state...it could be different. I am located here in Nebraska, actually. Good luck though and I hope that all will go well.

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