[LinRin]

This is such a mess! My 17 year old niece recently had a baby by her 19 year old boyfriend. Both of them are impaired (she emotionally; he cognitively). She is high enough functioning to care for a baby, but has depression, immaturity from having no father and a mother that gave guardianship to Grandma at 10 years old.

The problem arises when the baby is born and "dad" starts demanding his rights by calling and screaming at my niece. She (and her grandmother) allowed him to come over anytime but he and his parents expected grandma to entertain his extended family in her home all weekend long. No offer was ever made for visitation anywhere else. One day she needed to go shopping. Of course, this leads to the baby's father's parents calling endlessly and screaming at my niece over the phone.

My niece doesn't want the dad to get unsupervised visits based on his impairments and his parents violent harassment. My niece has an appointment with the Friend of the Court next month. In the meantime, the parents of the baby's father have been calling, mailing packets of information and sending demand letters via their lawyer.

I advised niece to document everything, not meet with the lawyer, allow dad to come over as long as he's not violent, ignore the parents and call the police if the baby's grandfather keeps threatening her. Am I doing to right thing? Any other advice? I assured my niece that since she's breastfeeding (the baby's 4 weeks old) that he's going to have to visit around the baby's feeding schedule. Am I wrong? The baby's grandparents have offered to buy her a breastpump. I think that they're trying to intimidate her into making a backdoor deal that the friend of the court has to abide by.

Any advice, comfort, welcome!

[Mr. Knowitall]

She can go to court and get a formal custody and visitation order.