Divorce In Texas

**SwnAac308** · 02-20-2008, 06:13 PM

I'm currently pregnant and married to the biological father. I have only been married for 5 mos. I am 7 mos. pregnant.
I'm wanting to get a divorce as soon as possible. I've been told by friends I'm not able to do this until the baby is born. Does anyone have any good insight on this situation? Why do I have to wait until the baby is born if a paternity could be established afterwards and custody could be handled seperate? Could their be any other legal actions that could take place before the baby is born?

Also if I'm the one filing for divorce does he have to pay any fees for the divorce as well as me? I was told appox. $2400 would be added up in fees for custody child support and the divorce all together. He is currently active duty military, and could be deploying soon after the baby is born. I'm not sure I will have enough money to do all that at once before he deploys.

**Dad2** · 02-21-2008, 03:19 AM

I don't know if you can get divorced while you are pregnant.
However, I do know that a divorce is stressful.
Stress+last trimester= bad news for mom and baby.
Why not just wait? It takes a couple months ( best case) to get divorced. So why not just wait a few months?
You will most likely be responsible for your own lawyers/court fees. Although if your lawyer is like most, they will say that they ill go after the other side for lawyers fees. That almost always never works.

**SwnAac308** · 02-22-2008, 08:45 PM

Yeah I think you're right about waiting. The main reason I wanted to do this now was because he would be deploying soon, if not before the baby is born. There is an act (I'm not sure the name of this act) that states he doesn't have to deal with the divorce until after he comes back from overseas. Which would be about a year! I'm not even sure what I should do about that.
Now my husband and I have made it very clear to each other that we both want a divorce, but that custody of the unborn baby is not agreeable between us. So although it's not a good idea to get a divorce now, I'm constantly thinking about it anyway.

After he comes back from overseas his time in the military has been served. He has stated to me that he wants to move to Colorado (where his brother lives) or New York (his home state) after he gets out of the military. I'm wanting to stay close to the many family members I have in TX for the sake of the baby being able to grow up with cousins, aunts, and unlces, and grandparents. Not to mention the great school district I went to as a youth. I have a very strong family relationship, which he does not.
I guess where I'm getting at is I'm worried about the situation regardless. I feel like he is not in the best interest of the baby. I'm scared for the welfare of the child. I feel like he is only wanting to move away to get a custody right of being able to have the child for longer periods of time vs. seeing the child every week if he lived closer.
I feel like I have to watch everything I say and do now. Being pregnant and emotional that can be kind of challenging. There has been a lot of turmoil with these custody rights. He has told me that he would never want to completely take the child away from me, but in the same breath he says things like I will not settle for being the non custodial parent...Even when there is an infant involved.
I'm sure I have a biased opinion of the situation being a mother to be in a divorce but I truly just want the best thing for the child. I don't think him moving away to other states and taking an infant or even a young child away from it's mother for months at a time will benefit the child at all. BUT I want the strongest bond that there can be between this baby and the father. It's difficult to deal with even without going through with the divorce right now.

**Dad2** · 02-23-2008, 04:44 PM

Assuming everything is status quo with you 2, let me share with you what will most likely happen.
Hubby comes home. Moves where ever ( although it would be in his best interests to stay close to you and the baby)
You go through all the divorce mumbo jumbo.
You get the child, child support, and the Custodial parent status.
He gets NCP status, supervised visitation at first, eventually working to non supervised every other weekend visits, with maybe a night during the week.
Or, he could actually get 50/50 custody assuming he lives pretty close, has a steady job.(but that's far less likely as the baby won't even know who he is)
But you will be the primary caregiver either way. Unless you do something REALLY stoopid, you really don't have anything to worry about.
1 thing you say does worry me though...
being able to have the child for longer periods of time vs. seeing the child every week if he lived closer
He has just as much right to that child as you. You created a life with him, so don't get all up in arms if he gets to be ith that child 182.5 days a year.