Stop Her From Taking Our Money

[fbluezssssss]

i live in missouri i have a 16 year old step son .My husband and i lost custody of him 6 years ago we pay child support every week it comes right out of my husdands pay check.When she first got him she quit her job and started going 2 school off the state she did that 3 times she lived in state funded housing.When ever our step son needed anything we bought it we gave her half of his school supplies on top of the child support.Afer six years she finaly finished school.NOW that hes sixteen he lives with his grandma the stat thinks he lives with her we cant affored a lawyer we have 2 children besides him we still give his mom child support and he doesnt even live with her what should we do if we try 2 stop payments we will get in trouble PLEASE HELP US

[Dad2]

What your husband needs to do is call the mom, and ask why his son is not living with mom. If the childs father wants custody of him, and it would be in your husbands childs best interest to live with you and your husband, then he needs to get a lawyer, and file for physical custody. At the very least, the child support should goto the caregiver of the child(his grandmother).
If the childs father stops paying child support, without a court order, then he will be in a world of trouble.
And in case you didn't get my subtle hints, this is the fathers battle, not yours. Other than coming on here for information only, you need to keep a low profile.

[fbluezssssss]

my husband and i are both the parents of this child in are eyes his mother just uses him for a free ride we think he should get his money me and his mother get along VERY well like 2 close friends we cant afford a lawyer or we would have done that oready . HIS mother tells him she needs him 2 make their life better "so she can go 2 school"

[Baystategirl]

my husband and i are both the parents of this child in are eyes his mother just uses him for a free ride we think he should get his money me and his mother get along VERY well like 2 close friends we cant afford a lawyer or we would have done that oready . HIS mother tells him she needs him 2 make their life better "so she can go 2 school"

Well....I can guess why your hubby lost custody.

You are a legal stranger to this child. Nothing more.

[Dad2]

Well....I can guess why your hubby lost custody.

You are a legal stranger to this child. Nothing more.

Here's the way it works. I, in a nice way, tell the step parent(s)/ girlfriends/boyfriends, that they really need to mind their business in legal matters of the children. If people disagree with it, Bay comes in, and says it in a way, that really gets the point across.
I think we make a good team

[Xena]

As was already advised, your husband can either file for custody, or file for a modification of CS so that the CS will be going to the grandmother.

I fully agree with what the others have said, you have no LEGAL standing, so if you want to really help your husband you should NOT even attempt to go into court with him.

[Baystategirl]

Here's the way it works. I, in a nice way, tell the step parent(s)/ girlfriends/boyfriends, that they really need to mind their business in legal matters of the children. If people disagree with it, Bay comes in, and says it in a way, that really gets the point across.
I think we make a good team

I think so too!!

[When does it end?]

As was already advised, your husband can either file for custody, or file for a modification of CS so that the CS will be going to the grandmother.

I fully agree with what the others have said, you have no LEGAL standing, so if you want to really help your husband you should NOT even attempt to go into court with him.

Out of fear of initiating a battle over everyone's opinion about step-parents, etc., I just want to say this:

True, they do not have a legal standing when it comes to matters of child support, custody, etc. But...I think they are entitled to the right to seek out information, relay it back, and support whatever decision the biological parent chooses to do with that information.

I don't think the OP has the intention of going into court on her own and stirring up things.

"Boyfriend/girlfriend-of-the-month"....those are the ones who need to stay out of it 100% and not even voice their opinions about someone else's kids.

I hope others can agree with that, or if not, agree to disagree.

[Mr. Knowitall]

Believe it or not, it's possible to tell a step-parent that she has no legal standing in a custody dispute without being rude.

[525601minutes]

It makes it much easier to be helpful and nice to step parents when they are seeking advice about helping their spouse see their child more. But when some (NOT all, just some) step parents - like the OP - are only interested in "their" money and how NOT to provide for a child or avoid court orders for a child who is not related to them ... well... what can I say - it tends to bring out a touch of rudeness.