Step Parent Seeking Adoption of Spouse's Child from Prior Marriage

[seekingadoption]

Tennessee,
I have a child 15, from a prior marriage. That has only seen her father a few times in her life. We got divorced in Alabama. My current husband and I have been together for thirteen years.
The calls over the years were limited to twice a year. No gifts on her b'day or calls. No gifts for Christmas and maybe called twice in her lifetime.
Visits were always at my expense, with us doing the driving to other states. First visit was when she was four months old, Second three years old, Third Eight years and the last one was this last August.
He complains that she doesn't have any bonds with him of course he says it's my fault.
This last time he turned plain abusive with her. She calls her father by his first name and calls my current husband "Dad".
Of course my current husband has always try to encourage her to have a relationship with her own dad but, to no avail.
I approached my ex to let my current husband adopt her, but like I mentioned before he turned plain abusive towards our daughter and of course me.
We , my husband and me know that if something was to happen to me, she will lose the only family she's ever had, and known.
We read in the Tennessee laws that if theres no contact for over four months, we can request a step parent adoption.
Also, been that she is 15, she will have to approve, according to the statue that we read.
Does anyone know what are chances would be?

[LawResearcherMissy]

There is no crystal ball, alas, that lets anyone here say "You have a 95% probability!".

The child has seen the sperm donor four times in her life, willingly and happily calls another man "Dad", and seems contemptuous of her biological father. It seems to me that the circumstances would have to be extraordinary for the courts to deny the adoption.

Consult with an attorney in your area who specializes in family law.

[seekingadoption]

I did but, the attorney said that because, he was in the military and he was still paying child support through the courts that, it would be hard for me to terminate parental rights.
The attorney I spoke to, was not an adoption attorney but a family law attorney.
I have been trying to contact an adoption attorney here, but there's only two in the city and no one seems to answer my calls. My next step is to go to dhr and try to do pro se with the help of an attorney friend of ours.
The four months are up.
Thanks very much.

[tex08]

If you think you can go pro se to get parental rights terminated from someone who pays child support and will not agree to it, and under the circumstances you indicated... it won't happen.

It seems to me that the circumstances would have to be extraordinary for the courts to deny the adoption.

To the contrary, if a parent contests termination, their rights will NOT be terminated to allow step-parent adoption unless the circumstances are extraordinary.

Talk to an adoption attorney if you are not confident with the advice given by your attorney, but most adoption attorneys are also family law attorneys.