my boyfriend and I had moved in together in June of last year. In July I found out he was cheating, that I was pregnant, and lost my job all within a weeks time. I became severely depressed.... My boyfriend continued to not support me emotionally as I thought he should and I became even more depressed. He would try to talk to me and work things out and I would snap at him rudely and ignore him, or go to the complete opposite and provoke him by accusing him of still betraying me. We continued to live like this for 2 months. Daily he would either try to talk to me about getting up to find a job, or I would snap at him for not being able to trust him. One evening we were laying in bed and he was again trying to talk to me... telling me that I had to get up and get a job, and I was arguing back at him about all the reasons I didn't want to. He kept asking me to look at him and I wouldn't... I was turned the other direction in the bed and he wanted to know I was really listening to him. He kept asking me to look at him and I finally turned around and got in his face and screamed WHATTTTTTTT..... he reacted by hitting me. This was the only time he was ever physical with me, however he left me with a black eye. I contacted the police and he went to jail. His family came to stay with me and when he bonded out of jail they helped provide mediation for us to talk. We spent a week without being alone together... family was with us 24/7. We continued to live together for another month without problems, however at the end of that month we became evicted from our home. It has now been 2 1/2 months since we've lived together, however we are still together and trying to resolve our trust issues and lack of communication with each other in order to be good parents to our children.
The weight of this situation is tearing me up. I am now 7 1/2 months pregnant living in a room of a family member's home with my 2 year old daughter. Because this county in IL has a no drop policy, the state is charging him with a felony of aggrevated battery on a pregnant woman which carries a sentence of anywhere from 2-10 years. We can not plan on living together, or whether or not he will even be able to be apart of the first few years of our child's life. He has a prior felony from over 10 years ago, in which he served time, and has been out without ANY problems for 5 years. He has secured great employment and if he loses his job and goes to jail, being a 2 time felon will cause us to lose everything. I am and have been on bedrest due to risk of pre-term labor from all of the stress we are going through.
I am well aware that what he did isn't right, nor is it something that should go without punishment. However, I feel that jail time would not only be punishment to him... but to me, my daughter, and our unborn child. I believe we are handling the situation responsibly by being separated in order to give us time to get things worked out, but neither him nor myself want him to lose out on the birth and first few years of our daughter's life.
If you have any suggestions, please let me know.
I appreciate some of the statements made to others, but if you're only planning to judge me or him.... please do not respond.