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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    3

    Default Can I Request Supervised Visits

    I have a 1 month old daughter with my ex boyfriend, he was there for the birth but did not sign the birth certificate. She has lived with me since day one. My ex does not work, lives with his father who smokes marijuana daily and his sister (20) and her 27 year old boyfriend who she's only been with for a couple months (who also smoke and drink and do other drugs). My ex is on and off of steroids and is verbally abusive and on a couple occasions has been physical with me. I'm afraid that he will try to have a DNA test done and try to get custody of the baby. I can't imagine my daughter being safe over that house especially with another man that I nor them really even know. I hear about children being molested every single day and I can not sleep at night thinking she's in a home with people using drugs and a man no one really even knows. If my ex was off of steroids and lived alone I would be okay with her seeing him, besides steroids he does not do any drugs... it's not him that worries me, it's the other people in the home that are using drugs and the older man that is living there. What I want to know is if he had a DNA test done and was proven the father, would the court really allow my daughter to spend nights at my ex's fathers home? Is there ANY way I could request supervised visits? I'm truly so afraid for her and I'm trying to keep my baby safe. We're in Massachusetts.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    755

    Default Re: Can I Request Supervised Visits?

    If he is proven to be the father, then he is entitled to visitation, whether it be day visits, overnights, or weeks at a time.
    He is also obligated to pay child support.
    You would need to prove that the baby would be in danger. Friends, family, anyone who can come to court, and attest they know what goes on, inside that house.
    And yes, you can request supervised visits. You can request anything you want. Whether or not you will get it, is a different story. But then again, you are in Mass, so you'll probably get whatever you want,lol
    Also, do you enough about steroids, to make an informed decision about how bad that would be for your baby, if dad took them?
    Yes, they are illegal ( for the most part )
    But the only danger to your baby, would be the needles.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    2,032

    Default Re: Can I Request Supervised Visits?

    Quote Quoting Dad2
    View Post
    If he is proven to be the father, then he is entitled to visitation, whether it be day visits, overnights, or weeks at a time.
    He is also obligated to pay child support.
    You would need to prove that the baby would be in danger. Friends, family, anyone who can come to court, and attest they know what goes on, inside that house.
    And yes, you can request supervised visits. You can request anything you want. Whether or not you will get it, is a different story. But then again, you are in Mass, so you'll probably get whatever you want,lolAlso, do you enough about steroids, to make an informed decision about how bad that would be for your baby, if dad took them?
    Yes, they are illegal ( for the most part )
    But the only danger to your baby, would be the needles.

    She will not get whatever she wants. She will get supervised visitation IF she can PROVE that Dad is a danger to the child. She will have to PROVE that Dad is CURRENTLY on ILLEGAL drugs. Does Dad have a record for illegal drug CONVICTIONS?? Please don't tell woman they can get whatever they desire...it's not true.

  4. #4
    panther10758 Guest

    Default Re: Can I Request Supervised Visits?

    Bay is correct judges dont hand out "supervised visits" per request. My
    Ex has supervised visits due to her mental condition and prior abuse both I had to prove. I did and she has had supervised visits (only used three time) since our seperation/Divorce in early 2000

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    3

    Default Re: Can I Request Supervised Visits

    Like I said, it's not my daughters father that makes me nervous, it's the living environment that she'll be in if she's over the home. I don't understand how a judge would allow her to be taken from her home that is clean and drug free with her mother, into a home that is dirty and has people using marijuana and a MAN that no one knows living there, and allow her to sleep there. Doesn't anyone see the fears that I have with this? This guy could be a child molester, he has no relation to my daughter, my ex's family has knows him for a couple of months and theres a chance a judge would allow overnights? Honestly, if thats the case no wonder why so many children are being sexually abused. Something needs to be changed with the court system, if they award my ex overnights at that home and something happened to my daughter, when I knew and tried to tell them that there were drugs there and an unknown man there but just couldn't prove it, then what? The damage will already be done and my daughter is the one who will suffer. The judge doesn't love my daughter and wont have to live with the guilt that I will if she is abused while there. Supervised visits are the only way I'll know that she's safe and being taken care of.

  6. #6
    panther10758 Guest

    Default Re: Can I Request Supervised Visits

    Because you dont know the man hes a child molestor? If you feel the enviroment dangerous to the child then collect evidence of such and present it to the judge and request visits be elsewhere or supervised visits. However the judge will not grant your request without evidence. I know I sought and won supervised visits but I need to provide documented proof (which I did)

  7. #7
    panther10758 Guest

    Default Re: Can I Request Supervised Visits

    Just so you know most abuse of children is not from strangers. Its from family members or people they know.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    3

    Default Re: Can I Request Supervised Visits?

    Quote Quoting Baystategirl
    View Post
    She will not get whatever she wants. She will get supervised visitation IF she can PROVE that Dad is a danger to the child. She will have to PROVE that Dad is CURRENTLY on ILLEGAL drugs. Does Dad have a record for illegal drug CONVICTIONS?? Please don't tell woman they can get whatever they desire...it's not true.

    I don't think dad is a danger to our daughter, but I know that the people in the house are by using marijuana and the unknown man that lives there is. Would that get me to get him supervised visits? The only person that I trust is my ex's grandmother... what are the chances of having visits at her home with his grandmother there to supervise? Then I would know she's safe if that was the case.

  9. #9
    panther10758 Guest

    Default Re: Can I Request Supervised Visits

    Take your evidence (if any) to a judge. No one here can say what a judge will say.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    755

    Default Re: Can I Request Supervised Visits

    "so you'll probably get whatever you want,lol"

    I was being (half) facetious, if it wasn't taken that way, I apologize.

    You know me Bay, any chance I get get to publicly state my dislike for the MASS Probate court system, I will, but that's for another time...
    To the OP.
    I think we all understand your concerns. And they are normal. For the first time, your child may be away from you, for an extended period of time. It's not easy, but it will get easier. Just remember, you are her mother, and that will never change.
    Now to play devils advocate for a minute....
    I'm a Judge now....
    I see hundreds of women every year, not realizing that they had sex with a man, created a life, and now don't think that same man, should be allowed to raise a child. They will say anything. Some will lie, some will steal, and some may tell the truth. That's why when you say that there are drugs in his house, I need proof. When you say he has a drug problem, I need evidence. I can't take your word for it, this is a court of law....
    See what I'm saying?
    Ok, end of me being a judge....
    As for who he hangs around with,, the people he will be dating, and the places he takes her....
    You really don't have control of that ( for the time being, unless the visits are supervised)
    That too, isn't easy. You think I want my ex taking my 11 year old son, to her boyfriends house for the holidays etc...? ( ok, I don't mind now, but it was a big adjustment)
    You will get used to it. You will have too, if you want your child to understand whats going on. You will have to communicate with the father from time to time, about the wellbeing of your child. You have too. Again, if you want your child to be well rounded, and not confused, you need to talk to dad about things. Her likes, dislikes, schooling, playdayes with her friends , you name it.
    If you find out that dad is taking your child to " leggs and eggs", or "hooters r us" or something like that, then talk to him about it. be reasonable. If all else fails, back to court, and let the judge take care of it. Again, making sure you have proof.
    Your concerns are normal. You will get through it. You may want to try and talk to other newly or not so newly divorced parents, for more advice.

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