Establishing Paternity After Infidelity and Divorce

**emmabea** · 11-22-2007, 06:03 PM

Okay, I definately need some advice. My boyfriend was married for about a year, and his then wife found out she was pregnant. She was also cheating on her husband (my current boyfriend). They have been officially divorced since March, and she had the baby in May. She claims that the baby's father is the guy she was cheating with. But there is no proof. It could really go either way. The guy she was cheating with signed the birth certificate. She lives in Maryland and her ex (my boyfriend) lives in Delaware. She refuses to have a paternity test. What can he do to order one??? He wants to know for sure whether or not he is the father.

panther10758 · 11-22-2007, 06:18 PM

He must file for paternity. Once granted there will be a court ordered paternity test Mother must abide or risk contempt of court. If he is Father he should be prepared to deal with issues like Child support, Custody and the like. he should find an Attorney if he can to deal with this process

**emmabea** · 11-22-2007, 06:45 PM

Thank you for your advice. I believe he is prepared to deal with custody and child support because he has the right to know if this child belongs to him. Does he file for paternity in Maryland (where she and the baby live) or in Delaware (where he lives)? Does he file for paternity with the court system? I'm sorry, I know NOTHING about any of this.... Thank you for your patience.

panther10758 · 11-22-2007, 06:57 PM

Where the child lives and you might consult an Attorney first so there are no mistakes

**aaron** · 11-22-2007, 07:56 PM

Delaware paternity forms can be found here.

**Baystategirl** · 11-23-2007, 12:28 AM

Quoting emmabea

Okay, I definately need some advice. My boyfriend was married for about a year, and his then wife found out she was pregnant. She was also cheating on her husband (my current boyfriend). They have been officially divorced since March, and she had the baby in May. She claims that the baby's father is the guy she was cheating with. But there is no proof. It could really go either way. The guy she was cheating with signed the birth certificate. She lives in Maryland and her ex (my boyfriend) lives in Delaware. She refuses to have a paternity test. What can he do to order one??? He wants to know for sure whether or not he is the father.

IF the child was conceived during the marriage why was the issue of paternity not addressed during the divorce? How was a decree issued with a pregnancy??? Did he agree, at the time of the divorce, that the child wasn't his? It is my understanding, and hopefully I will be corrected if I am wrong, that until the child is BORN a divorce would not be finalized.

**emmabea** · 11-28-2007, 03:36 PM

That's the thing... He wanted her to get a paternity test before they were divorced and she refused and flipped out on him. The other guy claims that he is the father and my boyfriend has just gone along with it. I don't understand how he can live with not knowing if this child belongs to him. This is a very touchy subject for me and quite upsetting and confusing as well. I mean, the child was born in May and he still hasn't taken action to find out the truth. I just wanted to know exactly what he needs to do to find out if the child is his. I think he has convinced himself that the child is not his, but it very well may be. This whole situation has made me question his character as well. When we started dating he told me that his wife had cheated on him and that he had gotten pregnant outside of their marriage. I assumed a paternity test had been given. Later, I found out that one had not.

**Baystategirl** · 11-28-2007, 05:40 PM

Quoting emmabea

That's the thing... He wanted her to get a paternity test before they were divorced and she refused and flipped out on him. The other guy claims that he is the father and my boyfriend has just gone along with it. I don't understand how he can live with not knowing if this child belongs to him. This is a very touchy subject for me and quite upsetting and confusing as well. I mean, the child was born in May and he still hasn't taken action to find out the truth. I just wanted to know exactly what he needs to do to find out if the child is his. I think he has convinced himself that the child is not his, but it very well may be. This whole situation has made me question his character as well. When we started dating he told me that his wife had cheated on him and that he had gotten pregnant outside of their marriage. I assumed a paternity test had been given. Later, I found out that one had not.

There is probably nothing that CAN be done. He said the child wasn't his at the time of the divorce...he must have. If the purpose of this thread is for you to find a way for him to establish paternity so that YOU will think better of him, then I will give you a bit of "non-legal" advice...find another guy. This man had no problem not dealing with the possibility that he has a child out there, and would gladly allow some other guy raise it as his...is this the kind of man you want to hitch your wagon to?