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  1. #1

    Default What Are My Rights As The Mother of an Unborn Child

    I live in upstate NY. I am about 24 weeks pregnant and no longer with the father. We were only together for a few months, and he left soon after I got pregnant. I have 2 other children whom I have full custody of. The father of this child always parties, drinking a ton, and smoking pot. He currently does not have his license from a DWI last year. He is on probation. A couple of months ago he was even "kidnapped" by bounty hunters and take to another state because of an outstanding warrant. I am having a girl and at first he was helpful until I informed him she would have my last name. He is now threatening to take me to court and fight for as much as he can. The idea of him being around my daughter makes me sick...I worry for her well being when with him. I nurse my children exclusively(not anymore but when they were younger) and plan on doing so with this child as well, for her health. What I need to know is what is the most the courts could give him? Does he have a good chance at getting anything, especially if he decides to fight for custody? He already has a 5 year old son he has not seen or heard from in about 4 years...he hasn't even tried. I think he is just doing this because one of the reasons we broke up is because, in his words, I gave my children 90% of me and him only 10%. The other reason is he lied to me about his drug use and I found out...I never would have even seen him if I had known before and he knew that. I am a good mother, I am involved in my son's school and I coach his sports teams for the town. I do not work, my son's father pays my bills because we had agreed for me to be a stay at home mom, that it is better for the children. I'm sorry for the lengthy story, I just wanted to provide as much info as possible. Anything you can tell me about anything...and what I could do for my unborn daughter is very much appreciated. Thank you.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    27,073

    Default Re: Need to know all of my rights as mother of unborn child

    the father can sue for custody and/or visitation but you will get to name the child. You can also file for child support.

    from what you said, it is doubtful the father would have much chance to get custody.

    The idea of him being around my daughter makes me sick...
    You must get over this feeling you have about HIS daughter being with her father. He has as much right to be with his daughter as you do.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    755

    Default Re: Need to know all of my rights as mother of unborn child

    Well, first off, he is the father of the child, and has just as much right to see the child as you.
    If he wants visitation, he will get it. How much, and whether it supervised or unsupervised, is up to the courts.
    He probably wont get 50/50. And if he does, he will most likely need to clean up his act first.
    If you can prove that he would be harmful to the child, supervised visitation, maybe 1 day a week, on a sliding scale would be likely.
    If the Judge sees him as an ok person, he could get 1 day a week, and every other weekend( not at first, but maybe within 6-8 months after the baby is born)
    Or, he may just forget about the whole thing, and never see the child.( that would be his choice)
    It doesn't sound like the type of guy who would actually hire a lawyer, and goto court.
    but if he does, he does. Try not to worry about it, until/if it happens. Concentrate on a healthy pregnancy. You can't control whether or not he will take you to court. Concentrate on you now

  4. #4

    Default Re: Need to know all of my rights as mother of unborn child

    I really can;t help but worry about it...I am totally stressing out. I know he doesn't care at all about this baby and is only interested in bragging rights. He is doing this just to hurt me. And it's working. I can't really see how a decent judge would let him have very much unless he puts on a really good show. He just completely disgusts me. I realize that as the biological father he does have certain rights...is it true those rights are only effective after he establishes paternity? I do not plan on putting him on the birth certificate. I heard that if his name is not on it, he has no rights until paternity is established. If that is true then that would be great, especially if by the time she is born he forgets all about it. Which is a possibility because he has already forgotten one child.

    Also...is there any way to try to prevent paternity being established?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    27,073

    Default Re: Need to know all of my rights as mother of unborn child

    is it true those rights are only effective after he establishes paternity? I do not plan on putting him on the birth certificate. I heard that if his name is not on it, he has no rights until paternity is established.
    yes, it is true.



    Also...is there any way to try to prevent paternity being established?
    Not if he wants to have it established.

  6. #6
    panther10758 Guest

    Default Re: Need to know all of my rights as mother of unborn child

    If he is too busy with drinking, drugs and, jail he may not pursue paternity testing. Regardless he has his rights as Father. While you wait for birth of child start collecting everything you need to maintain custody and only allow him supervised visits. Keep all letters, emails, write down dates, times and statements made in calls or in person etc. Consult with an Attorney as well and ask advice

  7. #7

    Default Re: Need to know all of my rights as mother of unborn child

    Thank you all for the information. I have been saving the emails he has sent me...other than that so far there has been no other contact since the hostility began. Is there anything else I need, any specific forms, etc...I should have on hand? I would be okay with me having full custody and him having visitation rights...I'm just concerned about whether or not court would make me send my newborn breastfeeding baby over night...I want to be as prepared as possible. Thanks again!

  8. #8
    panther10758 Guest

    Default Re: Need to know all of my rights as mother of unborn child

    Quote Quoting Lovingmommy84
    View Post
    Thank you all for the information. I have been saving the emails he has sent me...other than that so far there has been no other contact since the hostility began. Is there anything else I need, any specific forms, etc...I should have on hand? I would be okay with me having full custody and him having visitation rights...I'm just concerned about whether or not court would make me send my newborn breastfeeding baby over night...I want to be as prepared as possible. Thanks again!
    As instructed consult with an Attorney over these issues

  9. #9

    Default Re: Need to know all of my rights as mother of unborn child

    Thank you. I will definately be speaking to an attorney very soon.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    755

    Default Re: Need to know all of my rights as mother of unborn child

    Leaving his name off the BC is just wrong wrong wrong. (wondering if it's illegal?)
    You know he's the father. You made the decision to sleep with him. You made the decision to give birth, and now you are denying him his rights.

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