[ellileftcoast]

Children's court in California is no joke. Not even Britney who makes what is it 70,000 per month could win in this court. Here's my deal. My son and I were leaving the beach, he was all showered, packed up and ready to roll. My boyfriend had met us there in his brand new 07 ford truck, which he had asked me to park for him while he hurried to go meet up w/some friends. He found it scratched upon leaving the beach and was quite angry and thought I did it when I parked it. I remained completely calm and simply told my son "let's go." Being a 9 year old my kid thinks everything is funny. He didn't obey my order to lets go, wanted to stick around to see my boyfriend lose it over his truck. Go figure.

I pulled him by the arm to get in the car, was already too late by that time because my boyfriend had already keyed and damaged the paint on my car. I was of course very upset and pulled away. The next thing is that my kid didn't have his seat belt on so I pulled over into the red zone. I shouted at him put his seat belt on and smacked him a couple of times on the thigh and upper arm. I have received a couple of no seat belt tickets in the recent past because he removes seat belts or doesn't put them on when asked. Anyway, some "good citizens" came running up and asked if this was my kid. I said of course yes. They called 911. The police came. They saw my kid crying and it turns out when I had pulled him into the car earlier it left a couple of significant scratches on his wrist. That's all the police needed to see. Got arrested they dropped it to misdemeanor assault and child endangerment.

Also had to go to Children's Court. For the next 6 months I do not have custody of my son. I must undergo a parenting class program which is fine. I love my son and want him back. The only thing is what kind of parent will I be if I can't support my son. I am also a teacher and this charge, even if a misdemeanor, even if having to do w/my own child, not one of my students may totally end my career. Look at the result, so far the system has broken up a family, and quite possibly created another welfare mom/public assistance situation in the case I can no longer teach. What consequences will that have for my son?

Right now if anyone knows whether or not a misdemeanor child endangerment re their own child can and will end a teaching career let me know. The charges still pending. Back to court in mid December.

I would say your teaching career is in peril. You seek shoud consult an attorney right away. Now to throw my two cetn sin (I know you didnt ask) you behavior is unacceptable under any circumstance. Spaning is debateable but you beat your child and even left marks!! You shoud seek counseling as this can get even more serious.

[cdwjava]

Not even Britney who makes what is it 70,000 per month could win in this court.

Actually, according to the news yesterday, it's $700,000 per month ... and no savings or investments.

I pulled him by the arm to get in the car, was already too late by that time because my boyfriend had already keyed and damaged the paint on my car.

How mature of him.

I shouted at him put his seat belt on and smacked him a couple of times on the thigh and upper arm.

Now YOU lost it a bit.

They saw my kid crying and it turns out when I had pulled him into the car earlier it left a couple of significant scratches on his wrist. That's all the police needed to see. Got arrested they dropped it to misdemeanor assault and child endangerment.

PC 242 and 273a(b)? I can see where the charges came from ... not sure if they will get a conviction in court, but it's possible.

For the next 6 months I do not have custody of my son. I must undergo a parenting class program which is fine.

That is very typical in these situations. As a foster parent, I have children at my home who are involved in family reunification as well, so this is very typical of parents in your situation facing charges that you do.

This charge may very well go away if you complete all the terms of the parenting plan - you may want to ask your attorney about that. Because, if it does go away or becomes a detention only through some kind of deferred entry of judgment, it may not effect your employment at all.

Are you a public school teacher? Private school teacher? Pre-school teacher?


- Carl

[ellileftcoast]

Hi thanks for the thoughtful reply. I am a public school teacher. And

BTW/also took some law school coursework and from the mouth of a criminal prosecutor d.a. in los angeles, it is NOT against the law to spank your child w/an open hand, so long as this does NOT result in any type of mark or trauma. Hence a couple of open handed wacks on the thigh is not child abuse. The scratches on the wrist, although legally binding, were completely unintentional and I have caused and received such scratches playing volleyball or during turn combinations in ballroom dance. I love my son, he is very spoiled and seldom if ever raise my hand to him.

But you did leave marks and it was his thighs and arm! that hardly meets the normal desription of a spanking!

[cdwjava]

I am a public school teacher.

Then a conviction coul dbe a problem. I do not think they are automatic disqualifiers. but a district might have a problem with such a conviction. Hence my suggestion that you look into a deferred entry of judgment through your attorney ... if its possible.

BTW/also took some law school coursework and from the mouth of a criminal prosecutor d.a. in los angeles, it is NOT against the law to spank your child w/an open hand, so long as this does NOT result in any type of mark or trauma.

That is true. It's actually codified into thwe Welfare and Institutions Code. But, grabbing a child by the arms or wrists, yanking him, and otherwise striking him is not generally going to be lawful - particularly if marks were left.

A decent attorney can probably get things handled and maybe reduced to a peace disturbance ... but, it depends on the details adn the desire and practice of your county's prosecutor's office.

- Carl

[ellileftcoast]

What exactly is a deferred judgement and how does it work? Also what is an ajudication or having something ajudicated?

Point of clarification: The scratches were on the wrist when I pulled my son into the car to get him away from a potentially hostile situation (as my boyfriend was acting hysterical due to being under the impression that I dented his brand new car when parking it.) There were absolutely no marks on any other part of my child's body. He was examined at the local hospital, required procedure for department of children services.

[Mr. Knowitall]

The psychopathic boyfriend thing... that's also a cause for child protection services to be concerned about your son.

[aardvarc]

He didn't obey my order to lets go, wanted to stick around to see my boyfriend lose it over his truck. Go figure.

So you are telling us from the beginning that the child is already in an environment where he knows in advance to expect your boyfriend to "lose it"? The problems began WAY before this particular incident. Is there some part of this dynamic that seems NORMAL to you? If he (the boyfriend) is reacting with violence against your car over supposed damage to his truck, what on earth are you expecting him to do someday when you REALLY piss him off??? As far as your son, sure he wanted to stick around and see it. Everybody loves a car wreck. Watching a psycho you know in a public place is so much more convenient than paying $7.50 to get into the movies. Let's hope he hasn't learned TOO MUCH about how to "be a man" from this guy.

I pulled him by the arm to get in the car, was already too late by that time because my boyfriend had already keyed and damaged the paint on my car. I was of course very upset and pulled away.

And also apparently exposed to two adults who act LESS mature than 9 year olds. If you want to be around someone so out of control as a "boyfriend" who is going to key your car that's your business, but your son has no business around either of you or this situation.


They saw my kid crying and it turns out when I had pulled him into the car earlier it left a couple of significant scratches on his wrist. That's all the police needed to see.

Let's hope that as part of the outcome of this case that there is some anger management counseling. It's understandable that you would be upset by what happened, but you need to either develop better coping skills than taking it out on a child, or figure out that this relationship is turning you into a person who is NOT going to be able to be the parent that you WANT to be to your son.


The only thing is what kind of parent will I be if I can't support my son.

Dunno. But we can see the CURRENT state of the parenting situation as outlined above. And it ain't good. Hopefully this will be an eye opener for you and you and your child can move past it to a healthier place for BOTH of you.


Look at the result, so far the system has broken up a family, and quite possibly created another welfare mom/public assistance situation in the case I can no longer teach.

First, he's a boyfriend, not a husband. The only "FAMILY" here is you and your son - who you will hopefully get back into your care IF and ONLY IF you get your head straight about the realities of the abusive aspects of your relationship that you are BOTH exposed to. The system didn't create the situation - it only reacted. You're a mandated reporter, you should know this.


Right now if anyone knows whether or not a misdemeanor child endangerment re their own child can and will end a teaching career let me know.



You might check the FAQ by the California Commission on Teacher Credentialing at:

http://www.ctc.ca.gov/educator-discipline/DPP-FAQ.html

[zigtozag]

I feel sorry for the mom, she obviously have a very rebellious child. He knows how to push the buttons. Of course this world will act like you did something wrong by smacking him. A child has to be smacked one time or another. That is why so much killing and crimes are going on today, because this system stopped us from raising them the old fashion way. No one is looking at the fact that she stopped to secure his safety or that she had just experienced an immature man that keyed her car. I understand a child will be a child thing, and a mom has to be a mom, always ready to teach the child right from wrong. A struggling child refusing to listen to get in the car while in the presence of angry man. Surely while trying to get the struggling child from a dangerous scene a scratch can take place. One thing I hope you have learned is be careful who you date around your child. As for the rest I forgive you and understand. I am a mom and have passed the test of raising mine, they are grown and good men but it came with struggles.