What To Do About Grandchild's Mentally Ill Father

[hilltopgrandma]

My daughter and her significant other have been together since 1999 and they have 1 child who is now 5 years old. Father is diagnosed bipolar and refuses to reapply for disabilty even though he cannot stay employed and his behavior has been abusive, physically and mentally towards my daughter, erratic, and manic for several years. He makes up all kinds of excuses for not going to his appointments at mental health, like she wasn't there to go with him, it's too far to drive, etc. My daughter has supported him in every way you can imagine with little cooperation from him partly due to his mental illness, maybe not. He has contributed almost nothing financially to their household. I have assisted them with their bills since 2001 and am currently making the payments on a car so she can get to work, plus their insurance. I cannot continue to do this. Can I legally force him to do something about his problem? I am concerned with my daughter and grandchild's safety and well being. My daughter gets so depressed she just gives up and gives in to him irregardless of the consequences or how much it may cost.

[Baystategirl]

My daughter and her significant other have been together since 1999 and they have 1 child who is now 5 years old. Father is diagnosed bipolar and refuses to reapply for disabilty even though he cannot stay employed and his behavior has been abusive, physically and mentally towards my daughter, erratic, and manic for several years. He makes up all kinds of excuses for not going to his appointments at mental health, like she wasn't there to go with him, it's too far to drive, etc. My daughter has supported him in every way you can imagine with little cooperation from him partly due to his mental illness, maybe not. He has contributed almost nothing financially to their household. I have assisted them with their bills since 2001 and am currently making the payments on a car so she can get to work, plus their insurance. I cannot continue to do this. Can I legally force him to do something about his problem? I am concerned with my daughter and grandchild's safety and well being. My daughter gets so depressed she just gives up and gives in to him irregardless of the consequences or how much it may cost.

No, there is nothing YOU can do to "force" his to seek help. However you could explain to your daughter that her choice to continue living with a man that is physically abusive may cause her to loose custody of her child. She need to realize that she can't change him...only herself. For her to keep her child in this situation is abusive.