[Laura77]

I'm very new to this, so please bear with me. I'm in Riverside County and my family and I are going through the worst nightmare right now. After enduring years of physical, emotional and mental abuse, I finally made the call to 911. We thought that was the end of our nightmare. Little did we know, it was the beginning of worse. My children and I went to a shelter until we were able to find our own place. A few months later my husband contacted me. He gave all of the cliche lines. I fell right into the trap. I wanted to believe everything he said, so I agreed to meet him at our(his) house. At first, the conversation seemed to go well, but as usual, he started getting agitated. As soon as I saw that, I tried to leave. He cornered me and began yelling at me and thumping me in the chest. When I saw the first opportunity, I ran for the front door, but he ran after me and slammed the door shut. When he slammed the door, my hand was smashed in it. I kept trying to open the door with my other hand and tried to push him away from the door. While I was struggling to get my hand free, my husband was scratched on the chest. All of the sudden, he let go of the door and started jumping up and down with joy. He kept repeating "Ha! Ha! I got you! I got you!" I ran out as fast as I could and drove away.
Some time later, my husband contacted me and informed me that he did call the police that night and court papers in my name had been mailed to his address. He felt guilty that he had not let me know sooner and I was due in court in a few days. (I'm still baffled why they would send mail for the "abuser" to the "victim.") All of the advice I had received was not to worry, the court will see right through this. No, not even close--I pled not guilty and was handcuffed. The judge became very angry and told me that I would not be allowed contact with my husband or my children. I began to vomit uncontrollably in his courtroom. The officer who took me to the holding cell assured me that my children would not be taken from me. At that point, I didn't know who or what to believe, but he was right They weren't taken, but I still don't understand why the judge would say that. Since that day, I have regretted ever calling on my husband.
I have no record but I spent a night in jail until a family member was able to pay my bail. My charges are PC M273.5(A) and PC 243(E)(1). I struggled to sell my car in order to pay for private counsel, but had no luck. I've been to one court date with the public defender as representation. My public defender was on vacation and was replaced with two obviously over-whelmed substitutes. I saw in my folder, was not told, that the DA's offer from the previous court date was 3 years of probation. When I followed the public defender's recommendation to take it to trial, the new judge held a side bar and wanted to know if they had explained everything to me which makes me worry even more that I'm not being represented as well as possible. Since that court date I have tried repeatedly to contact the public defender who is supposed to actually represent me but have had NO luck. I don't know what my options are, who else can I contact? What am I supposed to do? I don't know where to go from here and my trial date is in days. The public defender only has a brief statement from me. She hasn't asked for any witness names, doctor's reports, etc. I don't even know what evidence they have against me, what her plan for court is or anything. I'm scared to death and still trying to provide some feeling of security for my children. I don't know what my worse case scenario is or the best possible for this county either. I had a private lawyer tell me she could get it down to an infraction, but she cost money. While the public defender said no way, it's trial or take a deal and she's free. And how do you know who to trust at this point anyway? I need to heal and help my children heal. Some days, I feel like I can't take one more bit of stress and I just want to take the probation. But, I am normally a preschool teacher, so if I take probation, I will have to figure out another way to support my children. Does ANYONE have any helpful information or direction to point me? My husband pled guilty--can that help me with my charges?
Thank you for taking the time to read this.

[cdwjava]

When youi made that first call to 9-1-1, what happened?

Did he go to jail? Was he arrested then?

Do you have medical injuries from that first assault?


Have you contacted a local DV support organization?

Here's some local resources:

http://www.dhs.ca.gov/epic/fvrefer/riverside.htm

- Carl

[Laura77]

When I made the first call, the police came and arrested my husband. The arresting officer said that he was boligerent the entire time he was held (two or three days). The only physical injuries I had that day were some red marks and scratches. I waited about 45 minutes before I called. It was a very hard decision for me, but I feared for my life at that point and the quality of life for my children if I was gone. Two days prior he punched me in the throat, then repeatedly on the back of my head as I tried to catch my breath because I didn't wake him up in the morning. The abuse was becoming more and more violent and explosive. I had contacted a DV support service once prior to calling the police. She gave me the statistics related to domestic violence and recommended counseling for my children and I. When I contacted them after my arrest they were very supportive until they realized that I was being charged for abuse. I really feel helpless and hopeless. I regret calling on my husband more than anything. The abuse is gone, but now there's a daily fear of another kind for my children and I. I don't know which is worse to be absolutely honest. We don't know what's going to happen and so far there has been no help in sight. I appreciate your reply and I WILL look into the site you have recommended.