Who Does a Newborn Spend Time With; Unmarried Parents

**TKIM** · 10-17-2007, 11:56 AM

State: California

My child will be born in a few months.
I am not married nor together with the father.
We do not, nor have we ever lived together.
We are on good terms and I do think he will make a fine parent.

We communicate well and agree on most things. There is one thing that has come up recently that I am having a hard time accepting.

I am more than happy to give him joint custody of the child, I do want him as involved with the baby as he wants to be; however, he states he wants 50/50 custody from the moment the child is born.

Since I will be breastfeeding, I can't imagine that this would be in the best interest of the baby. I really do think I need to be there 24/7, at least for a certain amount of time.

That said, I certainly DO NOT want shut him out of any part of the process. I have told him that he can even stay with me or I would be happy to stay with him during the initial 0-6 months or so in order that we can both be with the child around the clock. That's is not acceptable to him.

Would the California courts really allow a newborn to be passed back and forth like that?

Is there any kind of precedent? Where do I look?

Thanks for any advice.

**Neal1421** · 10-17-2007, 12:33 PM

Quoting TKIM

State: California

My child will be born in a few months.
I am not married nor together with the father.
We do not, nor have we ever lived together.
We are on good terms and I do think he will make a fine parent.

We communicate well and agree on most things. There is one thing that has come up recently that I am having a hard time accepting.

I am more than happy to give him joint custody of the child, I do want him as involved with the baby as he wants to be; however, he states he wants 50/50 custody from the moment the child is born.

Since I will be breastfeeding, I can't imagine that this would be in the best interest of the baby. I really do think I need to be there 24/7, at least for a certain amount of time.

That said, I certainly DO NOT want shut him out of any part of the process. I have told him that he can even stay with me or I would be happy to stay with him during the initial 0-6 months or so in order that we can both be with the child around the clock. That's is not acceptable to him.

Would the California courts really allow a newborn to be passed back and forth like that?

Is there any kind of precedent? Where do I look?

Thanks for any advice.

If it were to go to court, the judge would probably give him a graduated schedule. Meaning he would have a few hours during the day on several days of the week but the baby would reside with you.