[questions123]

I want to ask about a situation with my parents. My dad has been physically abusive with my mom for as long as I can remember, but we've never called the police for fear he'd go to jail for a little while, get out and come home pissed off we got him put in jail but the last time he did it I told myself next time he lays a finger on her I would call.

Last month my dad was on the phone in their bedroom and my mom tried to take the phone away from him. She wanted see how he'd react cuz he always takes the phone from her when she talks on it. When she reached to take the phone from him she didn't even get a hold of it cuz he grabbed her and threw her to the floor. He went to grab her when she got up and she scratched him on his face and chest. My sister heard the loud noise when she hit the floor, ran in, got my mom out went downstairs with her, my dad followed and he shoved her again even harder pushing her across the kitchen. She fell over the diswasher door which was open all the way and got a huge bruise on her leg from hitting it on her way down. He was FUMING to say the least and so my sister told me to call the police. I called but when they came since they saw he was scractched up and all she had was a bruise they arrested her and charged her with assault and battery. My sister told the officer of his past abuse but he didnt want to hear anything about it.
She feels as if she was unjustly accused because she was trying to defend herself. The police asked my dad what happend and he said she fell over the dishwasher door and he didn't know how. Is there any possibility he could get in trouble if they find out he lied? Would they even bother finding out whether he was lying or not in court?

Do you think she needs a lawyer or do you think if she states what happened that she can get out of being convicted of a misdemeanor? She doesn't have a lot of money to pay for a lawyer, and was declined for a court appointed counsel. If it's something she definately should do I'll let her know and we'll find a way to pay for one.

What could be the worst sentence she could recieve? Would it be the same with or without a lawyer?

Also do you think she should have been arrested?? They even asked if my dad had a gun, he said yes and they left it at that. I thought the whole situation was unbelievable because they took my mom and left my sister and 11 year old brother alone with him, knowing he had a gun and knowing we had just called the cops on him trying to get him in trouble!! I guess in their eyes we should have waited for him to really hurt her bad so that they could have arrested him.

In the end if my mom isn't convicted and they start to question my dad, she doesn't even want him to get in trouble now and just wants to get a divorce. If they start questioning him though what could happen to him next?

[Madmanmike1972]

Does she have a prior record? If not her case looks better. I never understand why people even bother calling the Police, they are wortheless when it comes to Domestic Violence.
What were you hoping for by calling the Police? If you think the Police can change him you are wrong. The Court programs are laughable and really serve no purpose. They problem lies within the person being abused because if they never get halp things will persist.

[questions123]

No she doesnt have a prior record for anything. Nobody really calls the police so that the police can "change" the aggressor, the main reason to call the police is to prevent the situation from getting worse at that moment in time. The person being abused IS the one who needs to get help but what is considered help? Isn't calling the police asking for help? It obviously wasn't in this situation :-/

[deadlock]

Although the officers removed your mother they were able to stop the situation from escalating. I would imagine the officers made a decision to have the children remain with your father because they did not believe you would be harmed.

Sometimes you don't really understand all the reasons things happen the way they do until the end. It is going to be difficult for you to go through this with your parents and I hope that you have support.

Yes. Your mother needs an attorney to represent her. And if she cannot afford an attorney the court usually appoints a public defender. You did the right thing by calling the police. A record of the situation needed to be made. Do not think you did something wrong. You did not.

How is your mother doing? And are all of the children home and safe?

[questions123]

hi well my mother is fine except that she is super stressed out about everything that happened. Everyone else in the house is ok too. I had been wishing we never called the police cuz now my mom is in trouble and stressing out but I guess im kind of glad too cuz Im not afraid as much as i used to be that he might do something to her since he probably feels like he has to be on good behavior now that the police are aware that there's some kind of situation going on at home. The crappy thing is my dad hasnt been told to appear at court. I kind of wanted to see what would happen if they figured out he was lying when he told the police she fell and he didnt know how...

[deadlock]

Do you have someone at school or church that you can talk with about the situation? A counselor, teacher or minister? It would be a good thing for you to have someone that you trust be your buddy right now.

I'm glad your mom is doing ok. I agree with you that now the police are aware of the situation and this might turn out to be the best thing for everyone.