[sam0327X]

My Boyfriend of 11 years and I got into an arguement last Saturday and it became physical. We have had some pretty heated screaming matches in the past and everytime it includes alcohol. This time I told him if he continued, I was calling the police, I did and he was arrested. The extenuating factor is that while I was waiting for the police to arrive he (BF) got his shot gun and came outside. I told the operator on the phone and I think he heard me tell her and he took it back inside. His charge is as stated above. The officers never actually saw the weapon in his possession but did retrieve it and keep it. There was never a breathalizer or blood test in regard to the alcohol. This is a first offense and there are not priors with the exception of a dui from 13+ years ago. I received a subpeona to appear as a prosecution witness. Although I do not agree with the behavior and know honestly that this was spurred on by alcohol I want the opportunity to work out our problems. We need counseling, AA and whatever else. I am extremely unfamiliar with the court proceedings and am looking for a little insight. Do I have to appear? If I don't/do appear will it have a severe impact on the prosecution of him? What is the likely outcome of the proceedings based on past cases? I don't want him to go to jail, I honestly want him to receive counseling and take the necessary steps to change. Thank you for any help you can offer.

[Baystategirl]

My Boyfriend of 11 years and I got into an arguement last Saturday and it became physical. We have had some pretty heated screaming matches in the past and everytime it includes alcohol. This time I told him if he continued, I was calling the police, I did and he was arrested. The extenuating factor is that while I was waiting for the police to arrive he (BF) got his shot gun and came outside. I told the operator on the phone and I think he heard me tell her and he took it back inside. His charge is as stated above. The officers never actually saw the weapon in his possession but did retrieve it and keep it. There was never a breathalizer or blood test in regard to the alcohol. This is a first offense and there are not priors with the exception of a dui from 13+ years ago. I received a subpeona to appear as a prosecution witness. Although I do not agree with the behavior and know honestly that this was spurred on by alcohol I want the opportunity to work out our problems. We need counseling, AA and whatever else. I am extremely unfamiliar with the court proceedings and am looking for a little insight. Do I have to appear? If I don't/do appear will it have a severe impact on the prosecution of him? What is the likely outcome of the proceedings based on past cases? I don't want him to go to jail, I honestly want him to receive counseling and take the necessary steps to change. Thank you for any help you can offer.

1. Yes, if you have been subpoenaed you must appear or face contempt of court charges. A subpoena is a court order, not a request.

2. IT might...It might not. But are you willing to go to jail and incur a criminal record to protect this unstable, abusive, threatening drunkard?

3. Please post the statute he was charged with.

If you didn't want him to go to jail, you shouldn't have called the police. Law Enforcement is not there to play marriage counselor. Change is something he has to WANT...You can't make him be something that he isn't.
Find a new boyfriend and stop wasting your time with this guy.

[sam0327X]

Thanks for the response it's all duly noted. I wasn't really looking for condemnation, criticism or for anyone to pass judgement perhaps just a little insight from people that have been there or know a little something of the law.

I think you've actually managed to make me feel even worse than I did before I came to this forum.

[Baystategirl]

Thanks for the response it's all duly noted. I wasn't really looking for condemnation, criticism or for anyone to pass judgement perhaps just a little insight from people that have been there or know a little something of the law.

I think you've actually managed to make me feel even worse than I did before I came to this forum.

I have "been there"....I am giving you advice based on the legal aspect but also a little bit based on my OWN experience. Perhaps if you listen to it you will avoid the reconstructive surgery I had to undergo....The guy came out with a shotgun...What was he planning on doing with it??

Hint...There is no answer to that question that shouldn't send you running to the hills!!

[sam0327X]

There is no good answer to any of this.

[Baystategirl]

There is no good answer to any of this.

Actually there is. Go to court. Tell the truth. Leave the abuser. Meet a nice man, that isn't a drunk. Be happy.

[cdwjava]

Do I have to appear?

yes. Failure to appear as a result of a subpoena can result in a warrant for your arrest. Is he worth going to jail for?

If I don't/do appear will it have a severe impact on the prosecution of him?

If you do not appear they can continue the case while they have the police hunt you down and bring you in to testify. That does not happen in every case, but some counties in some states are pretty aggressive even toward their victims and witnesses.

What is the likely outcome of the proceedings based on past cases?

He'll likely get probation and counseling.

I don't want him to go to jail, I honestly want him to receive counseling and take the necessary steps to change. Thank you for any help you can offer.

If the court does not make him get counseling do you REALLY think he will?

I have been at this for 16 years. When counseling is not due to a court order, the abuser typically starts counseling to appease his victim. Then, when the matter is behind them (sometimes three weeks, sometimes 6 months) they get out of counseling and go back to their old ways.

There is no reason for him to bring a shotgun unless he was inclined to use it or to threaten you with it. Get away from this guy before you become a victim again.

- Carl

[Litigator]

You do want to show up and should inform the prosecutor of your wishes. Although the prosecutor has the final say he/she will often listen to the victim's wishes regarding the case. If the offender has a past history it is most certainly a strike against him.

[blueeagle]

I suggest you leave him and never go back, especially if he pulled a shotgun on you. Wife basher have the highest recidivism of all offenders. Studies shows drug addicts are less likely to re offend then a wife beater. I suggest you get out while you can.

Why do you call the police if you don't want him arrested? It makes no sense. Law enforcement are paid to protect the public from people like him. I commend the police for arresting this guy. They could have very well saved your life.

My friend who's a cop says 80% of domestic assault victims wish to drop charges within 72 hour. District attorneys realize this and rarely comply with their request. Somebody has to make sure justice is served.

That being said... your refusal to show up to court will certainly hurt the prosecution, but it can land you in jail! Nobody is worth going to jail for. Trust me, when I was 17 I was arrested for DWI.

[qwerty93]

My husband and I got in a heated arguement and it became physical, no weapons just blows anyway my husband just got 2nd degree recklessly endangering safety 941.30(2) I was shocked when they gave him this charge. Wisconsin anyway he got 3 years last week. and he pled no contest and did a plea agreement with no jail and an imposed sentence 1 year county and work release and see what the judge gave him....... and also the judge put a no contact order on me I am trying to figure out how he can get that lifted good luck!!!! I am now trying to keep things together here for my kids