Defamation Of Character, Slander & False Accusation Of Abuse

**ArdithKayHsv** · 09-05-2007, 02:09 PM

I run a small ministry on a volunteer basis for Christian Biblical Counseling. We were contacted by a pastor and his wife looking for help for their very troubled parishoner who had lived with them off and on for about 4 years. During that our contact (about 2 years worth) we learned about Sarah's troubled past. After exhausting every other ministry/mental hospital across the country they practically begged us to take her as a live in. Our counseling and healing ministry is primarily over the internet and by phone. Though we knew the situation wasn't ideal and though we really didn't have room we altered our lives to allow Sarah to come and stay with us.

She is 26 years old, carries a baby-doll around 24/7 and has MPD/DID and was, according to her, Satanically Ritually Abused.

Things started out okay but Sarah was very resistant to any challenge or change in her life. She had become accustomed to her brokenness and often used it to try to control and manipulate our household. She was also a self-harmer.

I shared my testimony with her about how I was set free of self-harm and also healed from being abused and ALSO was a multiple. We met with MUCH resistance and after two months of trying to even get her to comply with the most basic rules of our home.

We witnessed only 2 genuine triggers during her stay. More and more she seemed resistant to any real progress or emotional healing work. I work I full time job and it makes it difficult to come home to fits of rage and delusions when really nothing happened out of the ordinary outside of her flaming my ministry partner and her threatening her several times.

We barely got to first base with her. She spent most of her time alone in her room and when she came out it was to primarily watch TV or eat.

After a physical attack by her one night we finally called it quits. We found ourselves having to fight her will. We didn't see what her "pastors" wanted to see, which was, she really didn't want change in her life. She wanted people to feel sorry for her and to excuse her outlandish behavior. She had no heart-felt desire to work on any issues that were real and substantial. We spent two months trying to put out fires she started in her surface issues and fighting with my ministry partner of stupid things like how she walks down the hall and how threatened she feels because we discipline our dog at times.

The police was called by her because I had to restrain her from a physical confrontation. This was all agree upon and documented, with her signature and her pastors. We were not told she was violent by her pastors at all and violence was MUCH of what we spent trying to avoid in our home. When the police arrived and talked to her they saw the bit marks on my arm. She was restrained, not beaten by me and the cop realized that he had no just cause to file a report or to hall me away for "domestic abuse".

She was leaving on a plane in 2 days. When she left our house she was just fine. By the time she got home she was "covered in bruises" on her face. I was threatened by the pastor's wife that charges were going to be brought against us for "abuse". Later we were called by them to tell us that Sarah has now claimed that she was sexually assulted by us in unspeakable ways. Sickening really. Though these pastors have not come out to really accuse us of anything (as they have caught her in lies and inconsistancies) there is a little thing called DEFAMATION OF CHARACTER.

This woman has so disrupted our lives through lies, accusations and slander. While I cannot "prove" she didn't leave our home with bruises I can prove that the police officer who came out to the house saw she was unharmed. Even the pastor's wife witnessed her punching herself in her own face the first night she arrived at our house.

Based on her history of mental instability, based on her history of sexual allegations against others, what can I do to stop the horrible things that are being said about me, my ministry partner and my ministry? Is there precidence for a case like this? Do I wait until she gives such a convincing performance that we are sued? Do I sue her first for slander and defamation of our character?

She may be "sick and twisted" but she is also very cold and calculating. She knows very well we never sexually abused her or hit her or anything. She is giving a convincing story, one that would make us out to be some kind of perverts.

Do I have any legal leg to stand on to protect myself from this kind of attack?

Our agreement she signed stated that she "could" be restrained if she became a threat to self or to someone else. Outside of trying to restrain her amazon figure (I'm only 4'10") she was never touched improperly.

Thank you for your time.

Ardith Tolson
His Refuge Ministries
http://www.ministry-webs.com/ministr...fugeministries

**Mr. Knowitall** · 09-05-2007, 02:18 PM

You have to ask yourself what you would get out of suing. She has no money to collect, and the publicity of suing her is likely to create an even greater audience for her accusations.

**ArdithKayHsv** · 09-06-2007, 05:59 AM

It's called Accountability. Perhaps a year of community service for those who truly have been abused in life. It's not about money it's about exposing her for the fraud she is. She is like a vampire who sucks the life out of everyone who remotely cares for her.

Why do people always look at situations that have some $$$ value attached to it? Is that all that a person can gain for standing up for themselves and saying LIAR!!!!

Where does integrity come into it? Where does responsibility and accountability? How many other ministries is she going to try to destroy before she is stopped? We are not the first and I'm sure not the last.

It's called PRINCIPLE not $$$$. I would like nothing more than to expose her lies so that she will NEVER try to hurt or defame another person. Isn't that enough? Where do we draw the line? You might as well stand up and applaud her because she continues to do this year after year. When does it stop? Should ANYONE stand up to her and say NO? Or should we just allow her to continue down a road that is not only destructive toward herself but everyone who affiliates themselves with her?

Of course, someone who deems money more important than truth may not understand where I'm coming from.

**aaron** · 09-06-2007, 07:49 AM

Civil lawsuits are about money - they're about attaching a dollar figure to harm that you have suffered. The judge won't order her to do community service.

Somebody who hasn't seen countless people pour money down a hole in the name of litigating "on principle", and end up at the end of the day with no satisfaction and an uncollectable judgment, may not understand here I'm coming from.

**ArdithKayHsv** · 09-06-2007, 10:48 AM

Blood sucking lawyers could care less about honor, or principle or defamation at all then. That is what you are saying.

No, I don't understand how people look solely to money as a satisfaction when someone slanders and maliciously attacks you, your character, your integrity for the sole purpose of DESTROYING A PERSON / MINISTRY / BUSINESS reputation.

Defamation of CHARACTER is just that. A PERSON'S REPUTATION.

EXCUSE ME . . . BUT REPUTATION GOES BEYOND A PERSON'S POCKETBOOK.

SO SORRY I ASKED A STUPID QUESTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DOES YOUR MONEY BUY YOU HAPPINESS AND PEACE IN THE END?

I DOUBT IT!!!!!!!!