Father in Denial: Determining Paternity while Avoiding Disinheritance
I was born in and live in California, as does my alleged biological father. My mother withheld the identity of my father from me for most of her life, for reasons I will never know. But, shortly before she died 10 years ago, she revealed to me, in a conversation that had no witness, that the man whom I remember being a regular visitor only in my early childhood was, as I had long suspected, my biological father. My mother was never married, to him or any other man. I strongly resemble my alleged father in adulthood.
Shortly after she died, I visited this man, and confronted him with what I had been told. He adamantly denied being my father. He has "legitimate" children with a woman to whom he was married at the time of my conception and birth. He has divorced that woman and remarried, as far as I know.
My strong hunch is that this man is indeed my biological father. To be blunt, my goal, if I am correct, is to receive my fair share of his estate upon his death. I realize he may have already taken the necessary steps to disinherit me, but to do so in California would seem to require that he acknowledge me specifically in his Will as his child, and I believe him to be more motivated by protecting his image and reputation in the eyes of his "legitimate" family...the acknowledgment of an illegitimate child in his Will would tarnish this image, so I find it unlikely that he has taken this step.
I anticipate having to use a court-admissible DNA test and to challenge his Will in order to achieve my goal. If he were to willingly consent to DNA testing, or forced to submit to a court order while still alive, and if the test established him as my biological parent, he would likely have the motivation and the time to alter his Will if he so desired. I believe my best chance lies in not revealing my intentions until he is no longer able to make any such alterations, as a result of either his death or disability. His age at present is quite advanced, and I have reason to believe he may be in failing health.
I am seeking advice on the what steps I should take, now and/or later, to achieve my goal. Are there legal issues or obstacles I have not considered? Are there issues I am currently mis-informed about, or simply naive to? Are there any precedents for my situation? Am I looking at having to try to time a court-ordered DNA test to occur after he is dead or otherwise "not fit" to alter his will? Is there a completely different approach? I have read of exhumations being ordered to establish paternity, but my hunch is that it only done in the most extraordinary circumstances...is that correct?
For the reader who may at this point find me cold and calculating, I'll be glad to offer insight into how I have arrived at my current position via a direct reply, as I don't believe that that type of personal information and opinions fit the guidelines of this forum.
Thanks in advance to all for reading and/or replying
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