[Louisiana70809]

I live in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

Background: I had my tubes tied in July and my pre-operation visit bloodwork did not find any signs of pregnancy. 3 weeks later I learned that I am pregnant! I am about 8 weeks pregnant and although I think I know who the father is, I had broken up with him and started a new relationship with someone else all within the timeframe of conception. If this is indeed the ex-boyfriend’s he wants to be there for me and the baby and possibly even work on reconciling. He does not want to go through the whole pregnancy with me, becoming attached, only to find out that he isn’t the dad after all. The new guy does not want me to have this baby no matter whose it is.

I am currently trying to come up with the money on my own to have prenatal testing done in the 11th week. The testing is called the Chorionic Villus Sampling (CVS). I am trying to get my doctor to declare it medically necessary since I went under general anesthesia on July 24th (a few days after conception) for a cervical biopsy and tubal ligation. Also, I will be 4 months shy of my 35th birthday when this child is born and at 35 years, the recommendation is that the woman undergo testing for Downs Syndrome and other possible problems. I would like to have this test done to make sure the baby is ok and since they are doing the procedure use the same material to identify the biological father. Unfortunately I may have to pay this out of pocket because I want to have paternity testing done and my insurance may use that as a reason not to cover any ofthe testing. If this is the case, it will then cost me out of pocket $1600 for the procedure plus another $800 for the lab work. The potential father will have to pay $450 to be swab tested to confirm that he is the biological father. I am hoping that this test will confirm that the ex-boyfriend and not the new guy is the father. New guy is more concerned with his financial state at the moment than anything else. He claims that if he is the dad he can not afford to pay child support. He has a son with his ex-wife that he pays monthly child support for. He claims that he would have to sell his home and move in with his family if this child is his. He is begging me to find out the paternity and is asking that if it is his that I abort the child.

Question #1: I understand that Louisiana law does not give the male any say in whether or not a woman terminates her pregnancy but does require him to pay child support for the child even if she has the child against his wishes. I am interested in learning if there is any way that the biological father can sign away his legal rights to my child so that I could have sole custody.

Question #2: I do not wish to seek child support. The new guy is worried that if this child is his I could still come back years later and file for child support and ruin him financially. Is there any way possible to make a legally binding agreement that if he gives up his rights to the child that he can be exempt from ever having to pay child support?

Question #3: Is anyone aware of any programs or groups that might be willing to help me with the cost of prenatal paternity testing? I would prefer not to have to wait until the baby is born to determine paternity. I really would like to reconcile with the ex-boyfriend but cannot do that until we know for certain that the baby is his. The cost of everything involved is $2850 and we are required to have the full amount in 3 weeks time should we proceed with the Chorionic Villus Sampling (CVS). It is very difficult to come up with that much in such a short time. The only emergency fund we had managed to set aside together was $1000.


Thank you for your time in reading this and for responding if you have any information that could help me in Louisiana.

[Just Breath]

#1 - NO
#2 - NO
#3 - NO - Prenatal testing is NOT medically necessary in your case so, even if there were programs, you would not qualify.

My suggestion: Forget about both of them during the pregnancy. Following the birth, arrange private DNA testing with each of the men....the cost is significantly less than the cost of prenatal (I think it's arround $600 per potential father).

When tests determine which man is the father, establish legal paternity, visitation/custody issues and support......regardless of which one is the father.

If your current boyfriend is the father....and you insist on letting him off the hook....then do nothing. He will not be the legal father until a court orders it and would have NO obligation to pay you support....unless you go on state or federal aid, in which case the gov will go after him for support.

Why in the world would you even want to be with your current boyfriend, anyway.