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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    4

    Default Ex Not Allowing Visitation

    I live in Nevada, and foolishly gave physical custody of my four children to my ex husband just to end a divorce that had dragged out for nearly two years. He has been coming up with excuses why I shouldn't be allowed to see my children since the beginning of our divorce. First and flimsiest excuse was that the kids didn't want to see me, followed by my not getting the kids to school daily (when my daughter had the flu), followed by my working too much to be a good mother, then I moved to a more affordable home that wasn't big enough for the children, now I do live in a more affordable community but it's about 400 miles away from him so now that's his excuse. I'm attempting a comprimise, where I have reserved for a hotel room, car and plane tickets to see the children down there when it's my court ordered time, but now he says his girlfriend has to accompany me when I'm with my own children. The court order says nothing about this at all, and I feel my rights to be with my children are being violated. What can I do about this, and how do I go about it?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    4

    Default Re: Ex not allowing visitation

    And on top of this, I do not have money for an attorney.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    28,637

    Default Re: Ex not allowing visitation

    You can try excluding the girlfriend if she shows up, or getting a court order clarifying your rights in advance of the visit (which, as you obviously know, is easier to do with the help of a lawyer).

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    California
    Posts
    64

    Default Re: Ex Not Allowing Visitation

    HI

    You need to be ready to go back to court.

    First you need to make sure that all visitation times are written and ordered by the court. If they are not, that should be part of a Motion to Modify Visitation.

    In Nevada, usually the court will order you go to mediation first (I have a friend in Nevada) to come up with an agreement. You should not agree to having the girlfriend supervise. You should agree to specific times and dates for your parenting time and include a good portion of summer vacation to be spent at your house. Even though you moved away, your children need to spend time with you and you have the right to see them.

    If you have specific times such as every other weekend to see them, and he doesn't allow you to see them, call the police to go with you to enforce visitation. You will need to have your Orders in your hand.

    If he still refuses, then go back to court and file a Motion for Contempt for not allowing visitation.

    Remember to tell your children that you love them and want to see them no matter what else they may hear. Then do not bad mouth the Ex but put your effort into having quality time with your children.

    Bird Brain

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    4

    Default Re: Ex Not Allowing Visitation

    Thank you,
    I do intend to file the motion for a change of custody/visitation, and make sure it's enforced. I've been writing down exactly what days and times I want to see them, getting it ready to file ASAP. Most of the summer is definitely on the list, along with alternating holidays, and visits out there to see them for a day or two once per month. My ex recently sent me an email stating that I couldn't be trusted to bring the children back when I said I would, which is why his girlfriend had to tag along. This might hold water, except that I have always brought the children back to him when I said I would. He hasn't, but I have. He has also filed a false claim against me for welfare fraud.

    It is nice to know that I'm doing something right by making sure my children know how much I miss them and really want to see them no matter what happens. I make sure I tell them that over the phone(when his phone service is hooked up), by email and in occasional letters. I avoid mention of how I feel about their father, and try to make the subjects that I talk to them about pleasant. When my 8 year old was crying because his dad wouldn't let him see me, I read him his favorite book over the phone. I keep hoping that I'll make a breakthrough and be able to see the children regularly. I sometimes fear that the only way to do that is to take custody myself, and I really don't want to uproot my children, nor do I want to be like him and prevent them from seeing him.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    755

    Default Re: Ex Not Allowing Visitation

    Go get the kids, visitation orders in hand.
    Put the kids in rental car, and when the other woman tries to get in, call the police.
    She won't be trying to jump in the car again.
    And if she follows you, call the cops again. Stalking is a no no as well.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    4

    Default Re: Ex Not Allowing Visitation

    At this point in time, I have every intention of making sure his gf doesn't accompany us and filing a motion for contempt of court the following day if he doesn't allow it. I probably will be filing a motion against him for stalking as well.

    I'm also going to be hiring an attorney with my sisters help to get my kids back. The attorney I'm hiring is well known in the area for being a barracuda, and while that wasn't what I wanted at first because I was thinking that justice would not allow me to lose my kids if I did the "right" thing and didn't try to take the children away from their father, I have decided that it's necessary. I love my kids, and I don't feel that having them isolated from a parent that loves them as much as I do is good for them.

    My ex is a narcissist, which I didn't find out how destructive that could be until recently. I don't know how good my chances are of getting my kids back, but I'm going to do the best I can.

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