Contested vs. Uncontested Adoption in New Jersey

[WiiDad]

I have been with my now wife for about 8 years, she was pregnant when we began dating. We have raised the child without help or much contact from the bio father (he did sign the birth certificate, on for some reason though his name does not appear on the actual document). My wife and I have tried several time to include him in "his" daughter's life, he shows mild interest but disappears for years at a time).

My wife got pregnant when she was 17 and is now 25. We own a home and are pregnant with our second child. Our daughter is well adjusted and happy.

The bio dad called my cellphone on Mother's Day with talk of wanting to be involved our 7 year olds life (she does not know him in the slightest, based on his on previous choices). We had him over to meet her about 4 years ago before another 3 year hiatus. At that meeting he was not introduced as her bio father. A few months after this dissappearance my daughter went from calling me by my first name to dad by her request. She knows only me as her father and with the infrequency on his point we have seen no reson to introduce someone so fly by night into her life. I would love to adopt her and he has no problem with that, provided he gets visitation and recognised as her bio dad. My wife feels as though he is looking for the "best of both worlds" visitation on his terms, with no question of curent or back child support. At this point I want him out of our life, and feel that his on and off prescense will cause nothing but turmoil for our daughter.

My wife and I are unsure of what steps to take from here. I assume the adoption wouldn't necessarily be uncontested being we don't agree to his terms. I was wondering if anyone knows what kind of laws New Jersey has regarding abandonment and what our rights are. If I've left anything out, please feel free to ask!

[Mr. Knowitall]

If he permits adoption he would ordinarily surrender his parental rights as part of that process. I don't know if New Jersey would permit some form of "open adoption" with formal visitation under these circumstances; if you were to contemplate that sort of outcome, given the complexities involved I suggest you get help from a lawyer.

Involuntary termination of parental rights appears to be governed by the following statute:

7. a. The division shall initiate a petition to terminate parental rights on the grounds of the "best interests of the child" pursuant to subsection (c) of section 15 of P.L.1951, c.138 (C.30:4C-15) if the following standards are met:

(1) The child's safety, health or development has been or will continue to be endangered by the parental relationship;

(2) The parent is unwilling or unable to eliminate the harm facing the child or is unable or unwilling to provide a safe and stable home for the child and the delay of permanent placement will add to the harm. Such harm may include evidence that separating the child from his resource family parents would cause serious and enduring emotional or psychological harm to the child;

(3) The division has made reasonable efforts to provide services to help the parent correct the circumstances which led to the child's placement outside the home and the court has considered alternatives to termination of parental rights; and

(4) Termination of parental rights will not do more harm than good.

b. The division shall initiate a petition to terminate parental rights on the ground that the "parent has abandoned the child" pursuant to subsection (e) of section 15 of P.L.1951, c.138 (C.30:4C-15) if the following standards are met:

(1) a court finds that for a period of six or more months:

(a) the parent, although able to have contact, has had no contact with the child, the child's resource family parent or the division; and

(b) the parent's whereabouts are unknown, notwithstanding the division's reasonable efforts to locate the parent; or

(2) where the identities of the parents are unknown and the division has exhausted all reasonable methods of attempting identification, the division may immediately file for termination of parental rights upon the completion of the law enforcement investigation; or

(3) where the parent voluntarily delivered the child to and left the child at, or voluntarily arranged for another person to deliver the child to and leave the child at a State, county or municipal police station or at an emergency department of a licensed general hospital in this State when the child is or appears to be no more than 30 days old, without expressing an intent to return for the child, as provided in section 4 of P.L.2000, c.58 (C.30:4C-15.7), the division shall file for termination of parental rights no later than 21 days after the day the division assumed care, custody and control of the child.

c. As used in this section and in section 15 of P.L.1951, c.138 (C.30:4C-15) "reasonable efforts" mean attempts by an agency authorized by the division to assist the parents in remedying the circumstances and conditions that led to the placement of the child and in reinforcing the family structure, including, but not limited to:

(1) consultation and cooperation with the parent in developing a plan for appropriate services;

(2) providing services that have been agreed upon, to the family, in order to further the goal of family reunification;

(3) informing the parent at appropriate intervals of the child's progress, development and health; and

(4) facilitating appropriate visitation.

d. The division shall not be required to provide "reasonable efforts" as defined in subsection c. of this section prior to filing a petition for the termination of parental rights if an exception to the requirement to provide reasonable efforts to reunify the family has been established pursuant to section 25 of P.L.1999, c.53 (C.30:4C-11.3).

[WiiDad]

Well today I spoke with a lawyer, and she said he can't have it both ways... but on the other hand, I cant get rid of him, he will always be able to medal in our lives until he signs over his rights. she also said a contested adoption is an option but is likely to cost up to 25-30k....with a retainer of 10k off the start....

[TysDad]

This is very discouraging for me. I have a similiar situation, and as the step-dad, I am at my wits end with the bio-dad. The courts cant make him do anything, but wont allow us to move on, so my family is stuck. Or, like you stated, spend big cash to maybe have his rights revoked.