Establishing Paternity Where The Father Is Deceased

[scarlett409]

Many years ago I became pregnant, and my fiance decided to absent himself from the situation. I had our duaghter in Virginia. As he was unwilling at the time, his name was not entered on the birth certificate.

Her father and I were both lifetime residents of Florida, where I returned to reside shortly after her birth. We reconciled and were within days of marrying when he was tragically killed in an auto accident.

His family, whom I had always been close to and I had a falling out at the time. They've had nothing to do with either of us all of these years.

I do however have many cards and letters from him in which he acknowledged paternity. The Social Security Administration accepted this as 'evidence' of paternity and my daughter did receive death benefits.

I always wanted his name on record, but never knew how to go about it, and certainly couldn't afford an attorney on my minimum wage jobs. I've never mentioned this to anyone before. Somehow, it's easier to ask a stranger (especially annonomously).

I think that the time has come to correct the birth certificate. My questions are: How do I file a petition to establish paternity? Do I need a DNA test as I do have plenty of written 'evidence' to prove that he accepted paternity and that until his death his entire family accepted our daughter. Would I be able to file in Florida, or must it be in Virginia? As my daughter is now an adult, must she do the filing? I've always told her that we were married, explaining that she has my maiden name because I changed our name due to 'Daddys family not acting nice.' I've never told her anything but good things about her father.

Any help would be so appreciated. Thanks.

[seniorjudge]

I am unclear why you would want to spend a lot of time and money doing this.

Enlighten me.

[scarlett409]

I'm just a Mom with a Moms heart.....which has been broken for a long time.

In my own mind this would 'legitimize' my daughter, and would make her daddy happy.

If it's horribly expensive, of course, it will be out of the question.

Thanks.

[Mr. Knowitall]

How old is your daughter now?

[scarlett409]

My daughter is an adult, now. I think that was part of my original post.

I've wanted to do this for years-and kept this wish completely to myself. I had no idea of how to file the petition and certainly couldn't afford an attorneys fees. Now that I found this site-I simply thought that I'd ask.

I posted this same question on another site, and am now starting to be a little sorry that I did. I've been hammered with questions rather than answers.

Everyone is asking WHY I would want to do this, what's the use or what's the point. One person even answered stating that I can't 'force' the 'other family' to be part of our lives. The last comment is pretty far afield from my questions, and something I didn't intimate in any way is my goal-it isn't.

Why is really not the issue. My questions are how do I do this? What do I need to do? If I go forward with this, does my daughter need to be the one to file the petition, and in which state would I file.

This is for my daughter, adult or not; not for me.

As I said..........I simply asked.

[seniorjudge]

...I posted this same question on another site, and am now starting to be a little sorry that I did. I've been hammered with questions rather than answers....

If you went to a lawyer to do this, the questions you are getting on the forums would be mild compared to his questions.

The only way to answer questions (sometimes) is ask questions.

In any event, if your daughter is an adult, then she needs to spend a lot of time and a lot of money (with no guarantee of success) asking a court to decide who her father is.

This motion, by the way, would irritate any judge in the country with half a brain since there is nothing to be gained by it.

[jojo4]

I've always told her that we were married, explaining that she has my maiden name because I changed our name due to 'Daddys family not acting nice.' I've never told her anything but good things about her father.

I just have to ask if you have told your daughter the truth, in that you and her father were NOT married? It seems to me that any basic research will point out that you were not, as he is not the legal father. If you had been married, he would have automatically been listed as the father.

Just something to think about. If your daughter wants to persue this, you need to tell her the truth. Otherwise, she's going to find out on her own and have a very good reason to question her trust in you.

[scarlett409]

Thanks.

I don't mind questions, as long as they relate to the case I stated-some of the comments on the other board were way out there.

Peace out.

[scarlett409]

I have been terribly concerned all of these years about her reaction to the truth. If my daughter has figured it out-she hasn't let on to me. We're so close that I'd hate to shatter her trust in me.

I had just hoped to 'legitimize' her. I only wish that I could have afforded to do this years ago. The lot of a Mom, I guess, we always wish that we could do more for our children.

In any case-she did grow up knowing that she is cherished by both parents. In the long run, married or not, that's what is most important.

Guess I'll go think on this some more-I just thought that some of the comments were way afield of my questions on a purely legal matter.

thanks for your thoughts. Peace out.