I don't know how this works, but I'll supply as much further detail as needed by anyone who thinks they can help.
I got married in 1993 and in 1996 had a son. That same year I discovered my husband, by his own admittance, had been involved w/someone in his office (she was also married) since I was 7 months pregnant , and after he decided "get over it" should be apology enough for me I filed for divorce.
In 2000 the divorce was finalized; I got several years of alimony, and the house-the major asset-was basically mine, to be sold either when I remarried (hasn't happened yet) or when our son turned 18 (he's 11 this Sunday).When it was eventually sold my ex-husband would get 80,000, I'd get the rest.
Just to put that into perspective, a cape next door was knocked down in March of 2005, and the new house builton the site sold for $1.900k
I found this house thru a newspaper ad, it's in a very expensive town, the initial mortgage was $289k, and we got the mortgage thru my former employer, a bank. We put 20% down, most of it mine.
I used the alimony the first years to live...I never missed a mortgage payment, never was late. The alimony often was late, sometimes I was lucky to get 1/2 the amount due, sometimes i got nothing. I maxed out my credit cards, I took money from my 401. I'm sure I now have the lowest credit score on the planet.
(Was i working outsidethe home during this time? No. I took maternity, planned on going back, but ultimately didn't, because my sister's husband got ill and I spent an enormous amount of time in Maryland taking care of my newborn and my sister's newborn and her 1 year old son so she and her husband could go to Texas so he could get treatment for cancer, which ultimately failed.
During that time, my house in CT was being renovated).
My own son got extremely ill 4 years ago. It was virtually impossible for him-or me-to leave the house. It prevented me from taking on a full-time job, and if it wasn't for ebay I don't know how'd I would have survived, since my ex-husband was at that point giving me nothing. He said that given the circumstances he'd pay the mortgage, I'd take care of everything else, and although we may have been the poorest people in this town, we were getting by.
(FYI, my ex-husband lives around the corner from me, but rents).
That said, my ex-husband, although seemingly sympathetic, somehow wasn't. Over the last 4 years he's, literally, taken the house out from under me. he's taken it out of my name of my name (said I had to sign something so he could re-finance) made so few mortgage payments the house ultimately went into foreclosure(never told me he'd miss any payments) and then somehow worked out some sort of deal with the FHA (?), and actually sold my house, and has 1 year to buy it back. In the meantime, he's supposed to be paying over $5k a month rent, except he's not.
And somehow the original 1993 mortgage of $221k is now $551k!!!!
I found all the above out only because he leaves random docs lying around his house...I saw one document that said he got almost $20,000 in cash from this foreclosure sale.
I got nothing.
Now, knock wood, my son is much better. I work somewhere that lets me be home by 3, I also have an ebay store and work for a property management company on my own time.
But I am living in a house I used to own that has a knockdown value of $700k...and I am going to be homeless.
And I have no money for any legal help and no one to get money from. I can't hire an attorney with no money to put down.
I am sure I look like the stupidest woman on the planet. But when my son was sick I was so focused on him and his needs, and the last person I'd expect to screw me over was his father.
My ex-husband has family that has tons of money, but he won't ask them for a dime, nor has he ever touched his retirement to my knowledge.
I don't know what to do.
Thank you for your time.