In 1991, I found out I was pregnant, I informed the biological father who was in the Armed Forces at the time and I had seen off and on for 3 mths, he stated it would be in the best interest for both of us that I had an abortion, he expressed he was not interested in being a father was not willing to make a commitment emotionally or financially. I explained that with or without him I was going to have and would support the baby myself. Being young and naive at the time I was blessed with a lot of support from my parents, friends, and family... they encouraged me to have the child with out regrets. Well after my son was born I called the BF to let him know, and he was irate and started saying that there was no way it could be his and that I knew how he felt about have a kid, after a bit of an arguement I left with my son and a car chase incurred. Afraid of him I called the police and then had a restraining order placed on him. All about this time I found out he was discharged from the service for using drugs, working at some shipping company who a few months later called me up asking for the where abouts of the BF and that he had stolen a large amount of money from them. I asked them how they got my number and I guess the BF had used my parents address as his place a residence. I told the company that that was false information and I explained my situation to them and stated I truly didn't know very much about him. Anyway a few months later a girl from the company called and mentioned that thru an investigation that the BF had returned to his home state in CA.
In 1992, I met my husband and was married in 1993 and we have been happily married since. In 1996, prior to the start of school, we changed our sons last name to that of my husband. My husband has raised our 16 YO son as his own and we also have two other children together. We recently purchased a home in NC and my husband wants to legally adopt our son. I have never heard from his BF since he's left my home state. My parents still live in the home I grew up with the same old phone number and not once has the BF tried to contact my son or I. I should add that he was not added to the birth cert. and I never tried to have paternity proven. I never asked or received any type of assistance for supporting my son. My husband has supported all three of my children and myself since we were togehter. I would also love to complete my story with a happy ending....my question is does our situation fall into abandoment or disinterest and will I have to do a search for the BF. If anyone has any information that would be useful I would greatly appreciate it. Is there a way we can do this pro se with out hiring anyone. I am sorry my story was long however I tried to keep it short but tried to fill you in on as much details in case it was pertinent to my plea.