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  1. #1

    Question 14 year old in need

    I have a few questions and concerns I need help with. I live in Quebec Canada and an ex-coworker of mine has 14 year old daughter that is in need of some help. She does not have a very stable home life. Her father just moved back to Newfoundland and left her here in Montreal with grandma, but grandma is barely home as she works in a bar at night. "E" has no rules or regulations to follow, she skips school to be with her friend cause her friend got suspended, she is fed, but only because of a friend of ours, she has had her dad's friend try to sexually abuse her in the past three days, she lives in a very bad part of town, her dad TRIES to control every aspect of her life while living hundreds of miles away, she is having trouble in school even when she goes, and neither the school or her grandmother want to help her, she has been smoking pot and cigarettes, and is even started experimenting with alcohol, and no one but my friend and I seem to care. My friend "D" knows that he cannot even consider taking her in as her dad (although a friend of "D's") will start filing charges against him for every possible crime even though we ALL know "D" would never hurt her in anyway. I have talked to "E" on many occasions and she has been asking me for 6 months if she can move in. I have spoken to my husband and he is all for it, but, we want to do this right, WITHOUT having to deal will child protective services or any other type of service such as CPS (if we can avoid it). We want to keep her out of the system. Her father will NOT give her permission to stay with me. She needs and wants structure, a good school, the chance to be a kid for what is left of her childhood and she wants to be safe. (Her mother left her with her dad at 18 months old and wants nothing to do with her) So here are my questions.

    1. What can she do to get out without breaking any laws (I will not harbor a runaway)?
    2. Is there anything I can do legally without having to get CPS involved?
    3. "D" will be willing to take her in if she runs away, what could happen in that case, provided he only gets in trouble for that?
    4. I wouldn't need any support for her, would she be able to get emancipated instead so that we can cut all legal ties right away?

    Basically, the big question is, What are our options? I have found her a good school, I have a room ready for her. Anything and everything she needs will be here, I have even spoken with my insurance company and have managed to get her on my plan provided we have a document stating we have at least legal guardianship of her. I would even be willing to adopt her if it meant giving her a better life. I don't know what to do, all I know is, I have to do it SOON or we are going to lose her in some way or another. I do not want to take her away from her family, I am more than willing to let her see and spend time with her family, I just want to get her the help she needs, and she is not getting it where she is!!

    Please help!! I am desperate!!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    California
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    65,038

    Default Re: 14 year old in need

    You're stating that her mother has custody, her mother would let the child stay with you, and the father lives in another province and will not agree?

  3. #3

    Default Re: 14 year old in need

    You are half right. There is no acutal custody order (it was thrown out of court because the mom and dad came to an agreement). The mom has not seen or wanted to see her daughter since "E" was 18 months old, and the father just recently left her in the "care" of his mother.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    California
    Posts
    65,038

    Default Re: 14 year old in need

    It sounds like Dad's wishes are going to end up governing the situation in the absence of court action. You and grandma may wish to consult a lawyer about the possibility of your gaining a guardianship.

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