Step-parent adoption and change of child's Last name

[wrd]

My wife and I have been together for close to 4 years. When we first met, her son (not my biological son) was just an infant. He has been and will always be considered my own. Our son will be entering kindergarten soon, and my wife and I would like him to have the same last name as us and our daughter. The biological father's name is not on our son's birth certificate and our son has my wife's maiden name. The biological father has never been in the picture and hasn't seen or spoken to my wife or our son in over 4 years. We are going to go through the steps for a legal adoption so that I have all necessary rights in case anything should happen to my wife. However, we understand that this takes time. What would we have to do to get our son's last name changed to ours prior to him entering kindergarten? Is there a quicker/easier step besides legal adoption at this point with my wife's permission/signature? Please respond. Thank you so much in advance.

[aaron]

The procedures would vary by state, but typically you would go to the court which issued the custody and support order between the mother and biological father then petition that court for a name change, demonstrating that the change would be in the best interest of the child.

[wrd]

The procedures would vary by state, but typically you would go to the court which issued the custody and support order between the mother and biological father then petition that court for a name change, demonstrating that the change would be in the best interest of the child.

The State is New York, and there has never been a custody battle nor has there been a support order. My wife has never gone after support, and wishes to keep it that way, to completely keep him out of the picture in every situation possible until our son is old enough to decide on his own. We are financially stable and do not need support. What other suggestions can you give? If there has never been a custody dispute, he has not seen or spoken to us in over 4 years, his name is not on the birth certificate and we'd like to go through with the last name change and adoption, would we still have to have his 'approval' and 'consent'. Can the name change be completed separately? Please respond and thank you.

[aaron]

Custody order, not dispute. You are stating that this person has never been formally determined to be the child's father, whether by signing the application for the birth certificate, through an acknowledgement of parentage, a court order, or otherwise?

[wrd]

That is correct Aaron. There is nothing stating that he is the biological father through any type of birth certificate, order, test or otherwise. The biological father does know that he is the biological father, but wants nothing. We live in the State of NY, and are wondering, since he literally has NOTHING to do with us, legally stating or personally, what we'd have to do to change our son's last name and go through with the adoption. If there has been no paternity test, no court order and no signage of birth certificate, does he still have biological 'rights' to deny, argue or 'approve' a name change or adoption. Once again, it has been 4 years since he last made contact.

[aaron]

With no prior litigation or formal recognition of paternity, you should be able to petition for a name change through the county court. Typically the putative father would be entitled to notice of the proceeding. There are forms here for a New York name change petition, but you should check with the court as there may be special forms to use for a minor child.

[concernedmomelpaso]

My husband and I went thru this as well with my oldest child. The legal name change wound up costing as much as the adoption would have. We had to publish the notice in the paper in the last know city he lived in cause we could not find him, but it does take some time to get this done. You need to allow ample time for the bio father to respond. Hope this helps you both and good luck.

[wrd]

With no prior litigation or formal recognition of paternity, you should be able to petition for a name change through the county court. Typically the putative father would be entitled to notice of the proceeding. There are forms here for a New York name change petition, but you should check with the court as there may be special forms to use for a minor child.

Is this true what concernedmom says below...that we may have to publish notices in papers and everything? I guess the next step is to go down to the county court/clerk and speak to them about it. Should I ask for a name change petition? How about the adoption; would the biological father still have to give his 'consent' even when there is no 'legal' document stating his is in fact the father. Or would it be the same situation; some kind of posting or notice in the paper perhaps? Please let us know. Thanks.

[aaron]

The biological father would be entitled to notice. He would be able to protest, or to seek to establish and defend his rights as a parent. Or he may consent, or simply fail to appear.

[wrd]

Why is it, that an individual not involved and not wanting to be involved in the family structure could have the opportunity to cause caos to an already established family just because of biological genetics? In a way I understand, and in others I do not. We'll check with the local court to see what the next step will be. Thank you for your help.