[steston69]

I was involved with a married woman 1 time. We only had sex 1 time and she said after that that she was pregnant. She only made contact with me once since then. Now almost 9 years later her and her husband have gotten divorced and even though they named the child after her husband with a "JR" on the end he asked for a paternity test and it shows he is not the father. She says it can only be mine now. Do I have any rights? Do I have to pay for a child that carries another mans name? I thought that if his name appeared on the birth certificate and they were married at the time the child was legally his. What rights do I have? I hate to upset this child and ruin his life who is now almost 9 years old by letting them know that they have a father they don't know. This happened in Kentucky by the way. Any help would be appreciated.

[rmet4nzkx]

I was involved with a married woman 1 time. We only had sex 1 time and she said after that that she was pregnant. She only made contact with me once since then. Now almost 9 years later her and her husband have gotten divorced and even though they named the child after her husband with a "JR" on the end he asked for a paternity test and it shows he is not the father. She says it can only be mine now. Do I have any rights? Do I have to pay for a child that carries another mans name? I thought that if his name appeared on the birth certificate and they were married at the time the child was legally his. What rights do I have? I hate to upset this child and ruin his life who is now almost 9 years old by letting them know that they have a father they don't know. This happened in Kentucky by the way. Any help would be appreciated.

To answer your question, we need you to answer the question that appears above the box where you type your question in, WHAT IS YOUR STATE? In this case in what state was the child conceived, born?
When were they divorced?
When did the DNA test prove the husband not the father?
Is the ex-husband ordered to pay child support?
When did you learn you might have a child?
Was mom on Welfare or state aid at any time for this child?
Have you received any papers from the court or state?
Do you live in the same community or near enough to establish a relationship with the child if you are proved to be the father?

In general, please do not pay any money to this woman until either a DNA test proves you to be the father, or a court rules you the father and there is a court order for support and an official receipt for payments.
DO NOT ignore any court papers served on you or you might be found the father by default.
If you are proved to be the biological father and she wasn't on state aid, then it is possible that child support payments wouldn't start to accrue before the date mom files a petition to establish paternity, given the time between such a petition and a court ruling on paternity could be months or years, it would be wise to begin to set aside money towards arrears.

As to the child's name, the name on the birth certificate does not in and of it's self establish paternity and would take a court order to change it.

I will hold off an the question re "child of the marriage" Because while you stated this took place in KY, if a border state is involved, the laws vary considerably and also whether or not a married woman can execute an AOP with a man to whom she is not married and whether or not the man who is not the husband has any rights or standing. We also don't know what arguments took place in the divorce.

[aaron]

I don't think it is necessary to berate somebody who has stated that events occurred in Kentucky for not providing the detailed iteration you request. It is reasonable to verify that all relevant events occurred in Kentucky before answering, but it's unnecessary to assume that the information provided is incorrect or to scold the original poster.

steston69, do you know if the court order for the mother's divorce held that the child was not born of the marriage? Beyond telling you that you are probably the father, as the mother indicated that she might be taking legal action to have you legally named as the father or to collect support?

[moburkes]

It might not ruin his life to find out that he has a different father. It may, temporarily, but don't assume that it will forever. It MAY end up being a really cool thing for you. You have a child! You're a dad! You could, and should, frankly, pay child support. Seriously (no "berating" here), we suffer the consequences for our actions, even if we don't find out until 9 years later. You did have the opportunity 9 years ago to establish paternity, but chose not to. And, whatever the child's name, that is NOT a reason for not supporting your child. You will not be required to exercise visitation, but you will probably be required to pay child support. It will not go back to birth, though.

Do you have other children? Are you currently married? Were you married at the time?

[deadlock]

I was involved with a married woman 1 time. We only had sex 1 time and she said after that that she was pregnant. She only made contact with me once since then. Now almost 9 years later her and her husband have gotten divorced and even though they named the child after her husband with a "JR" on the end he asked for a paternity test and it shows he is not the father. She says it can only be mine now. Do I have any rights? Do I have to pay for a child that carries another mans name? I thought that if his name appeared on the birth certificate and they were married at the time the child was legally his. What rights do I have? I hate to upset this child and ruin his life who is now almost 9 years old by letting them know that they have a father they don't know. This happened in Kentucky by the way. Any help would be appreciated.

This is from: http://www.divorcenet.com/states/nationwide/
paternity_law_101
By PaternityNet.com

Published: July 17, 2004
Most states require that paternity be established by a "preponderance of the evidence," meaning that paternity (or lack of paternity) is "more likely than not." This test is the same test used in other civil matters, such as negligence, contract law and malpractice. We call this the 50.01% test, meaning that if evidence is even slightly greater than 50-50, it constitutes a "preponderance of evidence."

However, many states insist on a higher standard, known as the "clear and convincing evidence" test. This test is more stringent (harder to overcome) than the "preponderance" test, but not as strict as the "beyond a reasonable doubt" test, the standard in a criminal case.

Whatever the burden of proof on a person asserting or denying paternity, recent developments in DNA testing may make these distinctions irrelevant. With proper testing, most cases are decided on scientific evidence that is almost 100% accurate. Science has effectively removed paternity cases from usual rules of litigation and proof. Now courts and legislatures talk about 97% or 99% certainties instead of terms like "preponderance of the eveidence."

These materials are not meant as legal advice. While science may be universal, laws vary from state-to-state. Legal "fiction" often takes years to reflect scientific reality. However, all states are similar in at least one respect, each has a mechanism to establish or deny paternity.

[rmet4nzkx]

I don't think it is necessary to berate somebody who has stated that events occurred in Kentucky for not providing the detailed iteration you request. It is reasonable to verify that all relevant events occurred in Kentucky before answering, but it's unnecessary to assume that the information provided is incorrect or to scold the original poster.

steston69, do you know if the court order for the mother's divorce held that the child was not born of the marriage? Beyond telling you that you are probably the father, as the mother indicated that she might be taking legal action to have you legally named as the father or to collect support?

I'm sorry if it came across as beratting or scolding OP, as you well know, there have been a number of fake posts lately and I am just a bit cautious. It (state) wasn't stated in the begining and seemed to be added at the last as an after thought.

In this case the Commonwealth of Kentucky represents a very unique situation where an AOP may be signed by a man, not the husband of a married woman, but not so, a few miles away in Ohio where the husband would be considered the legal father of a child born to the marriage. In many parts of Ohio/Kentucky attorney's are licensed in both states as a practical matter. There is a huge Kentucky population that live there because of the lower cost of living in KY yet, work and give birth across the border in, Ohio, for example, which has a whole different set of paternity and family laws. Does OP know where the child was born?

"Everything" can "happen" in Kentucky but if the child was born or conceived in Ohio that puts a different twist on it, nor is there any guarentee that a family court in Kentucky would consider the implications of Ohio or other state law in a divorce with contested paternity. If "everything happened in Kentucky" then it will be a waiting game for mom to petition to establish paternity. The following recent caselaw is re: custody in a similar case, however paternity is discussed in relation to KY law. http://162.114.92.72/COA/2005-CA-000834.pdf

[deadlock]

It might not ruin his life to find out that he has a different father. It may, temporarily, but don't assume that it will forever. It MAY end up being a really cool thing for you. You have a child! You're a dad! You could, and should, frankly, pay child support. Seriously (no "berating" here), we suffer the consequences for our actions, even if we don't find out until 9 years later. You did have the opportunity 9 years ago to establish paternity, but chose not to. And, whatever the child's name, that is NOT a reason for not supporting your child. You will not be required to exercise visitation, but you will probably be required to pay child support. It will not go back to birth, though.

Do you have other children? Are you currently married? Were you married at the time?

Mo, it is a disturbing to a child to know something and while still a child to have that reality shattered. Few children are as fortunate as Eric Clapton when there world is turned upside-down. His anger, channeled in a way that made history.

[moburkes]

I understand that. I'm not trying to downplay it at all. However, there still may be a light at the end of the tunnel. Also, OP needs to try to make it right. He (apparently) thought it would go away when mom stayed with husband. But now it has come back to bite him on the butt.

[aaron]

Please limit further comments to those directly responsive to the original poster's inquiry. Thank you.

[steston69]

Conception and birth both took place in Kentucky. She was married, I was not married. I am married now, but I have no children.
1. Can I be made the father without being served papers? I've only heard rumors, I haven't talked to her.
2. Can I be made to pay the back 9 years of child support when her husband claimed the child and supported it? She never had any contact with me after she got pregnant except for like 2 times.
3 How does waiving all your rights of parentalship work?
4 Isn't he still considered the legal father since he signed the birth certificate? I thought in most states the husband was always considered the legal father.
5 How much can they make you pay a month in child support?
6 I haven't gotten a summons or any letters or anything. She has contacted my family once. Should I just wait until contacted or should I try pushing something?
7 If I am served will I have the right to a blood test before judgement is made?
8 Is there a statue of limitations of how long she can try to find the childs father after the child is born?
I still just do not believe I am the father. She has 2 other children by 2 other men also. I think she just remembers my name and she is trying to find a way to just put more money in her own pocket. The only time I had talked to her before she had the baby she asked me what I was going to do about child support. I told her I wasn't going to do anything about it until I had a blood test. She said a blood test cost 500 dollars and you don't have that kinda money so we'll see.
I am in a financial bind now and my wife of 5 years who cannot have children is very upset. Please help me