[Mother of 2]

My husband and I recently found out he has a twelve year old daughter that he never knew about. Paternity testing has proven her to be his and we are paying child support and providing medical insurance. The mother purposely kept my husband (I didn't know him then) from finding out about her pregnancy and told another man that she was his daughter. This other man never questioned paternity and a child support order had been established against him for the past twelve years. She is still fighting us for arrears, life insurance on my husband, day care expenses, medical expenses, her attorney fees, college tuition, birthing expenses, etc. My husband had no knowledge of this child. He is military and had he known there would be no medical expenses, birthing expenses, attorney fees,arrears, etc. He would have taken full responsibility from the beginning. We live in TN, but the court case is taking place in IL. I have two questions:
1. How likely is it she will get all she is asking for seeing as another man was legally this child's father for the previous 12 years?
2. Do we have any case for a civil suit for his child being kept from him for 12 years? If so, do we have to file in IL or can we do it in TN?
This unexpected case has been financially and emotionally devastating for me and my family. I'd appreciate any info I can get. Thank you.

[seniorjudge]

Q: How likely is it she will get all she is asking for seeing as another man was legally this child's father for the previous 12 years?

A: Have the first guy's parental rights been terminated?


Q: Do we have any case for a civil suit for his child being kept from him for 12 years? If so, do we have to file in IL or can we do it in TN?

A: You can sue anybody for anything at any time any where. Whether you will is another question. But what would your damages be? If you want to pay all the back child support, etc. then you can do that; but I am not sure how a man can be monetarily damaged by not seeing his kid for twelve years.

[Mother of 2]

Q: How likely is it she will get all she is asking for seeing as another man was legally this child's father for the previous 12 years?

A: Have the first guy's parental rights been terminated?

The first man's parental rights were established in a child support order. He did not contest paternity and waived genetic testing at the time. The mother took the recent DNA results showing him not to be the father to court and had his child support "temporarily abated". She then went on to have the child support order completely vacated. I guess that's what terminated his parental rights? We have no problem providing child support and medical insurance since my husband is her father. It's everything else she's asking for that we are contesting.

[seniorjudge]

The first man's parental rights were established in a child support order. He did not contest paternity and waived genetic testing at the time. The mother took the recent DNA results showing him not to be the father to court and had his child support "temporarily abated". She then went on to have the child support order completely vacated. I guess that's what terminated his parental rights? We have no problem providing child support and medical insurance since my husband is her father. It's everything else she's asking for that we are contesting.

Well, the old saying is ask for the farm and settle for a cow.

Anyway, if y'all want to sue her for doing/not doing something, you are opening a very big and smelly can of worms which would make it more likely that she gets everything she wants.