[kathgan]

I live in Indiana and have made numerous, and I mean numerous, returns to a major chain bookstore in the past couple of years. I'm pretty much a compulsive shopper (and yes, I am seeing a therapist about issues that relate to some of this behavior). A lot of the time, I do have my receipts and actually I don't return for money, but get store credit and purchase another book. And here is the weird thing, most of the time, I haven't even read one chapter out of the book I was returning. Anyway, back in 2001, this bookstore's headquarters sent me a polite letter stating that I had way too many returns/exchanges without a receipt and for further returns, I would need a receipt. I thought I pretty much had a handle on my impulsive buying for quite a while, but in the past year, I've been sending my teenage son in to do the return, He is too young for a driver's license, so they do not ask for ID, however, my son informed me that he does fill out paperwork that requests his address, phone tec. Yesterday, he attempted to exchange an item for another and was told (very nicely) that he needed a receipt for an exchange. This was a huge eye-opener for me!! I had now brought my son into my impulsive and thoughtless behavior issues! I have no doubt that we'll probably receive one of those "return/exchange only with receipt letters addressed to him, but my main concern is has anything illegal been done that the store may pursue some formal charges on? I truly believe the only thing I'm guilty of is being a not-very-responsible mom and also using this place like a library. Needless to say, we will not be shopping there again and I am going to increase my therapist appts to help me accept what I have and learn to be happy with what I've got, but do I have anything to be concerned with as far as charges? Thank you for any input you may have>

When one person has excessive returns even ones that appear legal it sets off red flag! Now your returns could be honest but noone at store knows that they just know tthere is excessive returns from this person. The store assumes something is not right and a theft of somekind has occured. Since they have no grounds to pursue criminal charges and no grounds to refuse returns they do best they can to protect store. I know this because I work Loss Prevention. You may not be doing anything illegal but your actions suggest there may be wrongdoing. Store has not forbid you to shop they are merely taking actions to protect themselves if you are committing theft. Keep in mind you are costing store money. When you return book it is now "used" it cannot be resold as new! You have "new" book in exchange for old one! You may think you actions harmless but they are not! My biggest concern is that your illness has grown so much that you sucked your family into it. I realize you said your getting help but tis not enough as you now have put your teenager into your mess! What lessons are you teaching him! Perhaps a more serious means of help for yourself is in order. I further suggest your therapist talk to the family and tel them NOT to enable you!

[kathgan]

Thanks for your input. We just had a big discussion (myself, dh, and son) about this whole issue and I apologized to my son for getting him involved. We are all going to meet with the psychologist and dh and I are getting marriage counseling. I've come to the conclusion I'm using impulsive shopping/exchanging as a way to fill an unmed need and that is WRONG!! I realize that you're a specialist in LP, but I don't think the store was actually losing money on these (other than ordering additonal copies for stock) since more than once I've witnessed the cashier handing the book I had just returned to stock person and asking them to shelve it along with the rest of the day's returns. (I'm not trying to justify what I did by any means, I just wanted to state that they're reselling it). Anyway, thanks for you advice, like I said in my post earlier, we will not be exchanging any more items nor shopping in that chain of stores again!

Would you want a used item sold to you as new? I wouldnt and I would return item and there possible law suit on store for selling such item as new! That being said your frequent returns will set off red flags anywhere in some cases stores refuse returns all together under these circumstances but that is not the norm. I wish you the best in your recovery as I know something of that too I am a 20 year sober recovering alcoholic