Ex Parte Order for Relocation

[Oh My]

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Washington

This is a long story but I will try and make it short. I (father) have primary physical custody of our three children, twins that are 16 and 14 year old. The divorce paperwork was filed by her and she agreed that due to medical illnesses (yes more than one) that she is unable to care for the children full-time by herself. One of the twins has a rare genetic condition that needs intensive medical treatment and also affects her comprehension (she's at a 5th grade level). The 14 year old has ADHD/ODD and can be a handful if not on a very strict schedule with very clear rules and consequences. All of which is documented by several therapist and doctors.

My ex agreed to and had planned to relocate with myself and our children to another state because we both agreed our child's medical needs could be managed and treated in another state better. In November I applied for a transfer within my company and she agreed to that. Shortly after that her boyfriend moved in with his two daughters. On December 18, 2012 I told her that corporate had "signed off" on the transfer and I could get my start date at any time, she agreed with that and sent me several housing listings in the state we are looking to move to.

She had no problems at all with relocating the children to another state until January 6, 2013. Her boyfriend (we all lived together in one house. They lived in the mother-in-law apartment) was arrested for domestic violence against me. My ex took our two youngest children without my consent or knowledge but left our oldest with me. She refuses to give me an address for the children and told me that I could contact them via cell phone. My oldest told me that when my ex showed up she packed bags for the two younger kids. She was told by her brother that the other child was left alone with the boyfriend (he plead not guilty and was released on his own recognizance until trial) at a local Walmart. I found this out when I got back from the court filing the paperwork.

She told our children that I assaulted her and I should be in jail not the boyfriend. Just for the record I did not assault her (we did get in a screaming match which was not good for the kids I know) and the police took pictures of my injuries (I was the only one with any) and arrested him. She brought the two youngest to her boyfriend's arraignment hearing and told me that she "saw a doctor and if you don't let me keep the two younger children then that will dictate what I do next" in front of the two youngest children. She also told the prosecuting attorney for the domestic violence charge that she wanted to have me charged with assault on her, again in front of my two youngest children. The prosecuting attorney told her that she would need to go to the local police department to file that as this hearing was about the boyfriend's charges. The prosecuting attorney actually told her that our children had been traumatized enough and that the arraignment hearing was not an appropriate place for them to be. She suggest fairly forcefully that the children should wait outside the courtroom, which they did. I was granted a no contact order for domestic violence until the trail date.

We are divorced and do have a custody/parenting plan which states that I have primary physical custody of the children. She has visitation from Friday at 8:00 pm till Sunday at 5:00 pm. I have not seen my children or had any contact with them since Monday at 7:00 am except for when she showed up a the arraignment hearing with the two youngest at 1:00 pm. She has had no contact with the oldest child that she left with me. My ex has not voiced any objections to me taking the oldest child to the new state and in fact told me she did not care if the oldest went. I have sent my child (she has her own cell phone) that my ex took several text messages with no response. On January 8, 2013 at 9:00 am I got a message from the clinic where my daughter gets treated asking me where my child was as she did not show up for treatment. This treatment is vital to the well-being and health of my child. She cannot go more than two days past her scheduled date for treatment. I also got a call for the other child that he missed his doctor appointment.

On January 7, 2013 at 8:00 am (after she left with the kids) I found out my report date at the new job in the new state is January 21, 2013. I informed the ex at the arraignment hearing and immediately went down to the courthouse and filed an Notice of Intended Relocation and Proposed Parenting Plan. After I came home and talked to my oldest I went back and filed the following:
Motion/Declaration for an order to show cause re contempt (refusing to tell me where the children are and not following the parenting plan).

Is there any other paperwork that needs to be filed?

*ETA*
I am thinking that I should file an Ex Parte Order for Relocation as well.

[Dogmatique]

You're doing everything that's required, Dad!

Please note that in our wonderful state, the presumption is IN FAVOR of relocation. In other words, Mom will have to come up with some mighty fine reasons why the children should not be relocated.

One quick question though - exactly when was the divorce finalized?

[Oh My]

The divorce was finalized on November 30, 2012. Boyfriend moved into the mother-in-law apartment around December 15th. I hope that things work out the way I want. I do not want my children to be traumatized anymore than they already have been but I also cannot have their mother behave this way and cause them emotional damage. I suspect she is attempting to alienate me from the two youngest. I also have a lot of concerns to the damage she is doing to the oldest.

Should I file something about abandonment with the oldest, or has it not been long enough?

- - - Updated - - -

of course now I'm kicking myself for not filing the intent to relocate when I applied for the transfer within my company! I had no idea she would do this. My boss (here) gave me a letter on company letter head stating the date and time that I was informed of the date I had to be in the new state. I am really concerned that I will have to leave this state to report for my new job and have to leave the two youngest here until the court orders are done. Since she is concealing the two youngest from me now I worry about what she will do when I am not in the state and she will have them full-time.

[Dogmatique]

Any chance you can run this by a local attorney?

Your original parenting plan is very, very new. The court might not be overly impressed to see you back so soon.

Abandonment isn't on the table just yet.

[Oh My]

All of the money that I do have is tied up in relocating for the new job. I do have assistance with the local domestic violence advocate to help me with the paperwork.

Our divorce was uncontested and she filed for it. It went before the commissioner and when he read the restrictions he said "so Mr. XXX is working on his issues" at which point the ex said "the restrictions are because of me and my illnesses." So I am a bit concerned about how this is going to play out. I think it works in my favor that there were no problems or issues until the boyfriend assaulted me. Now the ex is changing her tune. I found out shortly before the assault that the boyfriend told the ex he does not want to and will not relocate to the new state.

The proposed parenting plan says the exact same thing that our current parenting plan states but now I have requested that the children not have any contact with the boyfriend. This will be difficult for the ex (if she remains with him) as she is permanently disabled and unable to support herself financially by herself. That is why she has lived in the same home (mother in law apartment) with me, my wife and the children. She also at times needs help with the children due to her illness.

It is a really tricky social setting. The ex and I have been separated for four-and-a-half years but no court paperwork or orders were ever done. We lived in separate states for one year and then she moved up here to be closer to the children who were living with me. I married my girlfriend on 12-12-12 after dating her for the last four years. The boyfriend is still legally married but his wife, and the mother of his two daughters, is currently in jail on drug charges, felony assault charges, and probation violation in NV. I just recently found out about him being married and his wife's legal problems.

On a side note the state I am relocating to is where the ex, the children, and I lived for seven years. This is not a case of relocating the children to a state or area they are not familiar with.

- - - Updated - - -

I tried to file the ex parte order and the judge told me that I had to serve my ex and would not sign it. She did sign an order for the ex to appear about the contempt. I tried to have the sheriff get involved and they told me that without a court order they could not and would not be involved in a custody dispute even with a court ordered Residential Schedule.

So basically my ex can take our two youngest children, leaving behind the oldest child, and as long as she continues to hide herself as well as the children there is nothing that I can do because I cannot serve her! The longer they remain with her the more emotional damage she is going to do.

I tried to have my transfer canceled or get a later start date and was told no. I have to leave the state no later than January 18. I have to leave my oldest daughter behind because I cannot remove her from the state without the courts permission and the court will not give me that permission until I serve the ex!

I went to Urgent Care today because my foot was getting increasingly purple and extended bruising was noticed. The toe next to my big toe is broken down by where the toe meets the foot. I was told that this type of injury is almost always due to trauma and not from "stubbing" a toe. I'm calling the prosecuting attorney tomorrow in hopes that perhaps she can help me find my children and to update her about my injuries.

I was told there is a possibility that the boyfriend could face more charges due to him helping my ex to hide the children. Without his help she would not be able to hide them.