Hello, I recently used this forum with excelent help from everyone involved, and first off, just want to say thank you. Unfortunatly, a new legal end of the spectrum has occured for me recently. Once again, I know I morally didnt do a thing wrong, but I just want to see what legally happened/will happen.
So, to begin, I have been in a serious relationship with a woman now for about 2-3 years (I am 22 male), lets call her M. So, a little background on M is that she is, as I have come to find out, not exactly mentally balanced. She has been taking medication for depression and the such, and will consistintly enter hysterics, during which she will usually either try and physically harm me, or herself, or both. During these episodes she will almost appear to have a panic attack except she will usually strike out in anger. Also, I have several witnesses that have observed this in action.
So, recently we have been fighting (verbally) alot, and I decided that it was time to have a relaxed sit down to talk about where we were. I finally convinced her to agree to this, upon which I did most of the talking as she just sat there quite angry (I was exceptionally calm the entire time). This continued for awhile, until something set her off (I cannot remember exactly what I said, but she started going into a mode she goes into right before she gets hysterical). At this point I knew she was not safe on her own ESPECIALLY DRIVING, so when she said she was leaving, I took her keys and told her to calm down (as I said before, I took them because I didnt want her to drive in that state). This set her off and she began hitting me and pulling my hair, and slapping me in the face several times as well as a few punches to the face. All the while all I did was attempt to keep a firm grip on the keys until she settled down, and all I kept saying was "just calm down," as calmly as possible. This continued for several minutes until eventually she made her way to my living room, where I had a buck knife I use for fishing and random things around the apartment, and threatend me while she began to pick it up (I believe it was something like "Im going to ****ing stab you.." or along those lines of a true threat). At this point I hit the knife from her hands and pinned her down for my own saftey, waiting about a minute, still calm surprisingly, and trying to calm her down.
A few minutes later, she was still hysterical, but I figured, its either I let her leave and chance her harming herself or shes going to harm me. I gave her back her keys, and just told her to relax, etc... She left a minute or so later still in hysterics.
About one hour later, I get a knock on the door, and it was an officer. I told him everything that happend, although, I did cover for her a little bit, claiming that she didnt really hurt me at all, but I did mention the knife thing, which I regret, but I was still shaken up from the ordeal.
Now, the officer told me that pretty much everything that I had said concurred with her, with a few indiscrepencies... Upon later talking to her, she told him that I had pinned her down and was basically being rough. Regardless, when I talked to the officer, he understood where I was coming from, and realized that I was telling the truth (even though he didnt really say that). When I mentioned the knife, I breifly mentioned that she had tried to reach for it, nothing else about the threat or the fact that she actually picked it up. He also said that it is up to the state (Michigan) to decide whether or not to press charges on either of us. However, he told ME that since he wasnt cuffing me or arresting me, that thats usually a good sign that no charges will be pressed, BUT he specifically said that that doesnt mean that they will probably not be charged.
First off, I just want to point out that in NO WAY do I want to press charges on her, I just want to go on with my life, and let her go on with hers...
This brings about my questions.....
1. If, since I am the male and usually the male gets the shaft, I do get these bullcrap charges, what kind of charge could it be (misdemneaor/felony, etc..)
2. If I did get charged, I would want to press charges on her for the incident. (I know it is crappy to be vengeful, but I would think it would be complete crap if she got off the hook, and I got screwed). My question is, could I still press charges like months down the line about the knife incident and just the incident in general (The police never asked me if I wanted to press charges, but could I that far down the line)??? Also, as I mentioned, I have witnesses that I could bring that would back up my story on her hysterics in the past.. could this help
3. How long about does it take before you would normally know whether or not you are being charged??? And who would I call to find out the status on the case???
4. Any other advice???
A few notes:
I did call her several times before and after the police came to make sure she was alright. I live in Michigan, where this all occured. The officer told me: "If I were you, I would just stay away from her.." implying the fact that she has obvious problems. Even though he said that, and I completely agree, I called her just to check on her, I cannot let that ride on my concience if something was to happen to her. Theres more to this whole ordeal, so if this isnt enough information, just let me know.
and sorry about the length... again...