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  1. #11
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    Aug 2012
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    393

    Default Re: Can a Non Custodial Parent Moves Out of State Without Notifying Anyone

    Quote Quoting Jerseygirl444
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    Wow...you are very rude, Dogmatique. I was very respectful in my questioning and was respectful when you responded. Are you actually an attorney?
    No.

    Dogmatique tried to give you an answer, and you did not like the answer.

    If you want to know the answer to your question, then listen.

    If you want reassurance, seek a support group, not a question-and-answer type forum.

    And another thing, Dogmatique did ask you to clarify what your court order says and you didn't. Maybe if you had clarified, you could have been better assisted.

    People aren't trying to hurt you, they're trying to be honest with you.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    570

    Default Re: Can a Non Custodial Parent Moves Out of State Without Notifying Anyone

    Quote Quoting shortie
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    No.


    Dogmatique tried to give you an answer, and you did not like the answer.
    Furthermore, unless those court orders that you have not shared with everyone actually say something extremely unusual compared to other standard visitation orders, Dogmatique is right.

    She's also right about daughter spending extended periods of time with dad out of state, if dad so wants her to. You really don't get to say she won't. It's not your choice.

  3. #13

    Default Re: Can a Non Custodial Parent Moves Out of State Without Notifying Anyone

    The parties shall share joint legal custody of the minor child. Plaintiff (that's me) shall have primary physical custody of the minor child. Defendant shall have secondary physical custody of the minor child to be excercised as follows: A. Every Saturday at 5pm to Monday at 8 am. B. Every other weekend from Friday at 5pm until Monday at 8am. Defendant shall have secondary physical custody at any other times that the parties may mutually agree.
    It is agreed that the parties shall share by mutual agreement the major holidays with regard to physical custody of the child.
    The parties not exercising physical custody shall be entitled to reasonable telephone contact with the child at their expense.
    The parties will not disparage or allow others to engage in such conduct in the presence of the child.
    The rest is standard regarding car seats, firearms and second hand smoke.

    So as I said earlier, he IS in contempt unless he plans on driving 1500 miles every weekend. And telling my 10 yr old that "her mother is a fat ****ing bitch" is also contempt. Or telling her that if she lies, she will be taken away and put in an orphanage or if she tells me anything she does at his house, he will leave and she will never see him again. Those are only some of the things he has said. So sending her across many states to spend extended periods of time in that type of situation is NOT in the best interests of my child. I have no problem if he wants to come to her and spend time with her and based on the FACT that he is the one who decided to leave, then I nor my child should be forced to send her to him. Oh and he is refusing to give me his address, so would you send your child there?

    All I was originally asking is can a non custodial parent move away without notifying anyone?

    And the comment Dogmatique made: "(Or if you want to simplify the whole thing, let her go live with Dad before the court makes that decision for you)" was in my opinion very rude.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
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    449

    Default Re: Can a Non Custodial Parent Moves Out of State Without Notifying Anyone

    Quote Quoting Jerseygirl444
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    ...So as I said earlier, he IS in contempt unless he plans on driving 1500 miles every weekend...
    He IS NOT in contempt. The court grants him periods of possession which he has a right to exercise if he wishes. The court CANNOT order him to visit his child during those periods or be held in contempt.

    Quote Quoting Jerseygirl444
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    ...I have no problem if he wants to come to her and spend time with her and based on the FACT that he is the one who decided to leave, then I nor my child should be forced to send her to him. Oh and he is refusing to give me his address, so would you send your child there?...
    Until the court order is changed, you are required to allow him to pick up his child at his designated times which he chooses to exercise. Unless the order imposes any restrictions upon where he can, or cannot take her, he is free to make that decision alone. If you refuse to allow him to pick up his child, YOU will be in contempt.

    Quote Quoting Jerseygirl444
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    ...All I was originally asking is can a non custodial parent move away without notifying anyone?...
    YES

    However, your orders may have a requirement that he provide you notice of any change of address within a given period. If there is, you can require him to give you his address.

    If he intends to remain in his new location permanently, the current order should be changed to accomodate a different visitation schedule. You need an attorney to properly handle this, and better explain to you why your notions of what legally consittutes abondonment and contempt, and why changing to sole custody at this time are unrealistic. And why non-custodial parents are free to move where they wish, and that the court will likely accomodate that with a change to the visitation schedule to a standard long-distance plan.

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    570

    Default Re: Can a Non Custodial Parent Moves Out of State Without Notifying Anyone

    "Secondary custody" is stronger than "visitation," but its still not going to do what you want it to. Depending on the judge, he/she may not really see any difference. And besides, contempt is "willful" breaking of the order. No one is going to say that dad not coming to pick up Sally because he is a long distance away is "willful" contempt.

    Quote Quoting Jerseygirl444
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    And telling my 10 yr old that "her mother is a fat ****ing bitch" is also contempt. Or telling her that if she lies, she will be taken away and put in an orphanage or if she tells me anything she does at his house, he will leave and she will never see him again. Those are only some of the things he has said.
    Now we throw in the personal mud-slinging. Too bad what your daughter says is all hearsay and not admissible in court. Not that it changes the legal answer anyways. But it is confusing. You're mad because he's not coming to get her, but you also don't want her around him. I'm not saying that dad's perfect, but I'm assuming you're not either. Nobody is, and the court can't make somebody be perfect.

    Quote Quoting Jerseygirl444
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    So sending her across many states to spend extended periods of time in that type of situation is NOT in the best interests of my child. I have no problem if he wants to come to her and spend time with her and based on the FACT that he is the one who decided to leave, then I nor my child should be forced to send her to him. Oh and he is refusing to give me his address, so would you send your child there?
    Again, not your choice. You've given no reason to suggest dad won't get a standard long distance order. He doesn't have recent drug convictions, any domestic violence convictions?? He'll get his time with princess if he wants it.

    Quote Quoting Jerseygirl444
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    All I was originally asking is can a non custodial parent move away without notifying anyone?
    This is probably not going to be a point in dad's favor, and it may be written somewhere else in your order that parties provide any change of address. However, it's only been a week. Give dad a moment to settle in. Have you asked him for his address? (Maybe I missed that elsewhere in your post). Perhaps dad feels like he has a valid reason not to give it to you (which may or may not be reasonable). In any case, what are you trying to accomplish? Getting him in trouble?

    If dad goes back to court to get a new long distance visitation order (and it will be up to him to do so), you can ask the judge to have him tell you his new address then, if you still don't know it.

    Quote Quoting Jerseygirl444
    View Post
    And the comment Dogmatique made: "(Or if you want to simplify the whole thing, let her go live with Dad before the court makes that decision for you)" was in my opinion very rude.
    I can't speak for Dogmatique, but my point of view was frustration with understanding what you really want to happen. Perhaps she was feeling the same.

  6. #16

    Default Re: Can a Non Custodial Parent Moves Out of State Without Notifying Anyone

    I guess I am confused as well. I am at the meeting place EVERY SINGLE TIME he is supposed to pick her up, so to say that I "have to allow him to do so" is irrelevant. I'm not the one who doesnt show up. So I guess I will continue to be at the meeting place every single weekend and hope that he shows up from 5 states away. Yes, I did ask him for his new address when I contacted him after he never showed to pick her up. That is how I found out he moved away. I thought I made that clear, but I guess I didnt...sorry for that. As far as "willfull contempt", I guess I am confused about that as well...if you know you are moving away and make plans and arrangements, but do not include notifying the court so an order can be changed, then arent you willfully not following a court order? And as far as the "mudslinging", I dont even talk about my ex because I really dont care what he does, unless it pertains to my child. If my daughter wants to know something, I tell her to ask him. maybe he will tell her the truth maybe he wont but I know that in time she will see for herself. I am not perfect and have never claimed to be, but I absolutely have the best interests of my child in mind. Everything I do is for my children. I am not the one who put all of this into motion, he is by his actions.
    And regardless of what anyone thinks, I have NEVER kept him from her...he keeps himself from her.
    Im sorry that I bothered anyone with this.

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    570

    Default Re: Can a Non Custodial Parent Moves Out of State Without Notifying Anyone

    Mom, no one is claiming that you are a bad parent, or that your situation doesn't, well, suck. But there's really not a whole lot you can do about it at the moment. Let dad do his thing, have kiddo available at the currently designated times, and let him file for a new plan. If and when he does, you're going to have to get used to the idea of extended time away from you, but you'll adjust. And until then, don't worry about it. If and until he asks for the new order, you don't have any more responsibility than the current order.

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    449

    Default Re: Can a Non Custodial Parent Moves Out of State Without Notifying Anyone

    Quote Quoting Jerseygirl444
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    I guess I am confused as well. I am at the meeting place EVERY SINGLE TIME he is supposed to pick her up, so to say that I "have to allow him to do so" is irrelevant. I'm not the one who doesnt show up. So I guess I will continue to be at the meeting place every single weekend and hope that he shows up from 5 states away...
    It would be reasonable for you to ask him to give you advance notice of when he does intend to pick up his child, so that you can have your child ready at the designated meeting place.

    Given he has been a no-show on more than one occasion, and it is disruptive for your child, unless he gives you at least some notice that he is on his way to the pick-up location, then do not show up... until he does contact you.

  9. #19

    Default Re: Can a Non Custodial Parent Moves Out of State Without Notifying Anyone

    Thanks....and Im sorry if I came across as unreasonable. I just hate crying over this stuff because he decides to do whatever and Im left trying to pick up the pieces for my daughter.

  10. #20
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    FL
    Posts
    137

    Default Re: Can a Non Custodial Parent Moves Out of State Without Notifying Anyone

    Quote Quoting Jerseygirl444
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    Wow...you are very rude, Dogmatique. I was very respectful in my questioning and was respectful when you responded. Are you actually an attorney?
    She wasnt being rude, you are being defensive. She is telling you the truth. Now on top of that if he is gone for years then you may be able to suspend his visitation. Abandonment takes time to prove. It took me 3 years of no contact, with 2 years of sporatic to say the least visitation before that. Then I filed for Sole Custody and to suspend visitation. Then it took alot of back flips and side bending to show dilligent search. No I have my order for Sole Parental Custody, but he still has his visitation rights if he were to pop into the picture. Now granted they are ordered at a Court Approved location at his expence, but they didnt take them all. So for a week or two move you are dreaming. Take him to court for contempt and find that he files for visitation. Then you are sending your child to that state with him and his new significant other.

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