Non-Custodial Parent is Inconsistent With Visits, Notice Requirements

[jryanturner]

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Oklahoma

My wife and I have been married for three years. I have been in the military for almost 7 years. She has 2 girls from a previous marriage. Her ex has never been very prominent in their life, only calls 2 or 3 times a year, and has never kept the girls longer than 3 days. We moved due to military orders to North Carolina in 2010 and it was decided that since we were initiating the move, that we incurred all expenses to get the girls back to see him for summer visitation and christmas as well, provided he send 30 day notice. In 2011 I was deployed and the girls moved back home. My wife and he went back to every other weekend, and this was the first time he actually got the girls consistently. In February of this year we came back to North Carolina and he has contacted the girls twice since. This year he did not send a letter in time to get the girls for his full 2 weeks, and we were still going to work with him, provided he let us get the girls a few days to see other family as we are only going to be in town for exactly 2 weeks. He flipped out on my wife and demanded he get time with "his kids," and that we were in contempt of court if we denied them to him. We know this is ridiculous but still this is getting old.

We have thought about taking him back to court for different custody arrangements, but there is an issue with the court system back home. His father was the Sherriff in our small town for a very long time, and he covers for his son a lot. This guy has been arrested numerous times for DUI, Possession with intent to Sell, and various other drug charges, but none of these are on his record. When we spoke to a lawyer about it, he told us that "as long as his father is in court with him, the hearing will not go well for us."

I have heard about change of venue, but do not know how that works as I maintain citizenship in Oklahoma, but we live in North Carolina. We will be here atleast until 2014. Can anyone please advise on our situation? Next year our youngest will be school-age, and the custody paperwork allows for him to keep them for a full month. This is something we don't want, as he has not had them for longer than 3 days. He still lives at home with his parents, and still is into the partying that we dont want our kids around.

[Mr. Knowitall]

We have thought about taking him back to court for different custody arrangements, but there is an issue with the court system back home.

Define "back home". This is your lawful address, the location of the children's domicile, as contrasted with your 'temporary' address while assigned to your present base?

You're not actually relevant to issues of jurisdiction - the question is where your wife and the children are domiciled. If that remains in the problematic county in Oklahoma, then that's where the litigation is properly heard. If not, fill us in on the details.

[FatherWhoWon]

Next year our youngest . .

we dont want our kids . . .

I understand that you have some concerns, and that you've been stepdad for all of three years, but they are most definitely not your kids. No matter how much you love them. Please don't refer to them as such. It's just wrong.

[tex11]

In regards to the term WE, your personal opinion on what should or should not be done in this legal dispute between your wife and her ex is irrelevant. This is HER case.

A month in the summer is pretty standard, and some jurisdictions such as Texas make six weeks during the summer a default provision. So there is little, if anything, MOM can do to reduce her ex's month visitation. Any attempt by a custodial parent to go back to court to reduce the NCP's visitation for their own convenience is hardly ever met well in court, and may backfire.

It is understandable a parent would refuse to allow any intrusion by the other parent to accomodate extended family visitation during their week of possession.

Most orders have default visitation schedule dates for the NCP if he or she does not request in writing their desired dates in time. Nevertheless, now that mom has agreed to a week, that is a done deal, and dad should not be forced to break that up at mom's convenience.

Since mom and child are currently residents of NC, she could conceivably petition to have NC take jurisdiction over the case under UCCJEA and inconvenient forum rules. However, given that her husband is in the military and subject to future moves, such a pettion will likely be denied. Point here is MOM will likely have to resign herself to litigating any future disputes with her ex in court in OK.