Eligibility for Guardianship of Grandchild

[Lizzyd529]

My question involves guardianship in the State of: Ohio.

I have a 19 yr old daughter who has, so it seems, lost her mind. She has completely forgot the fact that she is a parent now and wants to go "have fun" and be with her new "boyfriend" insted of being at home with her 10 month old son.

Here are my issues...she has never done very well in school and ended up going to an alternative edjucation program, which she quit with the agreement of going back to school for some sort of edjucation after the baby. So she has no edjucation, no skills, no job because she has a child to take care of. She lives with me, my grandchild lives with me and I really wouldn't have it any other way since she lacks the basic skills to provide for her son. I provide everything for my grandson, the only thing that he has provided for him is medical and WIC both through the state...everything else financially is myself. My daughter has no income, so I also provide for her as well!

She loves him, but it is not enough. if shes not leaving him at home with me to run off, she leaves with him...dragging him all over the place staying here and there, leaving him with people she barely knows. Then when she brings him home he smells horribly of cigarette smoke due to the environment she has him in. Now I hold nothing against smokers...I used to be one, until the day my grandson was born, I quit, cold turkey. For her to subject him to breathing that crap upsets me badly, we have a smoke free environment at home for a reason. The leaving and taking him to lord knows where with who knows who is a cause of quite a few heated conversations.

Also my daughters judgments are awful! There is a history of juvinile unrully issues that I wont even get into...just know this isnt a new pattern...I even had to MAKE her do his laundry! Then there is the childs father (not currently in childs life), broke up with him about the same time she found out she was pregnant, had another bf off and on for a year, broke up with him...he is considered dad, now has another bf in the picture. My poor grandson is almost a year old and is going to be so confused and messed up and I am trying to stop it. I'm frustrated, I dont want to let her get away with the crap shes doing, I want her to grow up amd wake up...but if I insist she leave and grow up and take care of herself, god only knows how, I am affraid she will take the baby and my grandson will suffer and that I can not have. I have given her an ultimatum... get her head straight, go back to school like we agreed, be HOME where she can be a parent to her child, no more going out and staying out unless discussed and AGREED apon by both of us, and simply get her act together....or....sign over gaurdianship to me, and get out until she can be a proper parent! other then that....What can I do?

[Dogmatique]

You can't do anything. Mom is not unfit, and she's allowed to be a crappy parent. She's not abusing or neglecting the child.

And really Grandparent? You don't need to be criticizing her lack of education.

You must also understand that Mom is absolutely free to leave your house with her child, forever, and never allow you access to the child. Your best bet is to try and guide her, GENTLY, and not try to usurp her parental rights. Frankly if you gave me that sort of ultimatum, you'd never see your grandchild again.

[LawResearcherMissy]

Concur with Doggie. If she lacks education (do note the correct spelling), that's YOUR fault. When your kid says "I want to quit school", the correct answer is "Over my dead body."

You don't have standing to file for guardianship, no matter how unruly she was as a juvenile. (Hey, look, more spelling!) She's immature, sure, but that doesn't make her unfit, and - this may come as a surprise to you - she's 19, an adult, and can do as she pleases.

Of course, you can put her out and make her fend for herself. But you can't do so and force her to leave her son with you. She can take the child and move out of the country if she pleases, and you won't be able to do diddly-boo about it.

[Mr. Knowitall]

Have you tried asking your daughter and the child's father if they will agree to making you guardian?

[Lizzyd529]

I beg your pardon on my spelling mistakes, it was the middle of the night and I was upset. I really appriciate the "kind" responses that some of the members of this forum tend to leave, I have noticed a trend of some fairly miserable people who like to answer people who just need some help or advice but recieve bashing insted!

Mr. Knowitall, thank you for an actual response that makes an effort at help. I have not actually asked my daughter because she hasnt been a bad parent until recently, which is why I was seeking information and advice.

As for her quitting school...she was already over 18 and once again as a parent, just as a grandparent I have no say so or rights! Note the age of my daughter. I did not encourage her to quit school as a matter of fact I have done the opposite, and tried to keep her in school, have tried to help her figure out what she wants to do with her life and what kind of trade or career she would like to have, so please don't tell me that it's MY fault that she makes these rediculous descisions because it most certainly is not. I wonder if those particular people who answer these questions with nastiness and insults and rudeness even have children. Thanks, but no thanks DOG & not a lawyer missy but I dont really think that I need your spelling lessons OR advice. Please dont waste your time or your malice and nasty on me.

Mr. Knowitall... I do have a question for you, or anyone else who would like to answer with out casting stones and correct spelling crap, my daughter chose not to put the baby's father on the birth certificate, he was not at the hospital, there has been no seeking child support, and no visits made by the father. He is a drug user now and is unfit to care for the baby, and has made one attempt to see him when he was 2 months old. Would we still, legally, have to seek permission from the father?

I would appriciate only helpful answers, I understand as a grandparent I have very minimal, if no rights unless my grandson is practically treated as a ragdoll and cast aside, even then they are slim, I am not stupid, and I love all my children, including my grandson. I do not appriciate people who are condescending or just plain miserable dealing with me. So in the words of the "kids today" Jump off!

[Mr. Knowitall]

You will need to notify the putative father of your guardianship petition. If he chooses not to establish his parental rights, then he won't be able to participate in court proceedings.

I suggest... taking a deep breath. If you don't like somebody's attitude, ignore that part of their post.

[LawResearcherMissy]

Aw, boo hoo. You come in here talking smack about your daughter, and you don't like it when it gets tossed back your way. Don't dish it if you can't take it, Grammy, and understand that if you keep up your nonsense about "casting stones", you may get boulders heaved your way. Publicly accessible forum and all that. I'm sure you understand that you don't get to decide who posts here, and those of us who do post here leave the sugarcoating out of things.

We're here to provide legal information, not handholding. That you got the former, but not the latter, and that doesn't suit you? Your problem. Next time pay a pro.

I understand as a grandparent I have very minimal, if no rights

No rights. Zero. None at all outside of what your daughter decides to give you. If you deliver ultimatums, she's well within her rights to give you none, and you don't have standing to sue for any. Given that you've already told your daughter "Do this or else, and give me the child.", I expect that once you finally do the correct thing and ASK instead of DEMAND, you're going to be in for a big pile of NO.

If paternity has not been legally established, there's no need to ask the babydaddy. He doesn't have any rights at the moment, either, and therefore is unable to consent to give you any. Should he choose at some point to establish paternity through the courts, he will also be within his rights to tell you NO.

[Lizzyd529]

Thank you Mr. Knowitall.