Ex Violating a No Contact Order Between Her Boyfriend and My Kids

[Dogmatique]

I think you might be in for a nasty surprise.

[dead_onion]

what surprise is that?
I just dug up his copies of the police reports, showed a pic of the mugshot to my daughter, and she told me that was the guy at the house the other day.

[Dogmatique]

Because Mom actually has a decent chance of getting the NCO dropped or modified if she marries this guy.

And please stop putting your child in the middle of this. You showed her a pic? Why on EARTH would you do that? What do you expect a 5 year old to say? "Well, it could be but I think his eyes were a little closer together..and maybe his nose was a little sharper"?

[dead_onion]

I would do that to see if it was him.
It's not putting her in the middle of it. Sorry, I don't know what planet you are on, but I can't have a bi polar, heroin addicted, wife beating, unstable alcoholic around my kids. not gonna happen.
My ex is putting her in the middle of it by having him around our daughter and thinking she won't know who it is, and lying to her about his name. I didn't do any of that. she did. I am just following through on her irresponsibility and neglectful parenting, and violation of a court order. Sorry if you have a problem with that. This guy, by my ex wife's own admission, hit her with a belt WHILE her 7 y/o daughter was in the house. He assaulted his ex wife with a knife. Sorry dogmatique, i really don't want to have to put my daughter "in the middle of this" but her mother already has.

[texas1001]

Just because your ex puts the child in the middle, doesn't mean you should also.

It really sounds like you need a lawyer ASAP who can help you file all the correct motions/petitions/etc to get a TRO to get your child out of that home IF in fact it is full of "bi polar, heroin addicted, wife beating, unstable alcoholics".

[Dogmatique]

I'm on planet earth, where parents are expected to be reasonable and not put their children in the middle of custody/visitation disputes. You're both failing here. Tit for tat is going to backfire on you.

And frankly if Mom DOES get the order dropped, you won't have a CHOICE - you WILL be sending kiddo over to her Mom's, even if she marries "John".

[dead_onion]

well I don't see why marriage would change anything at all here. In this case it will be only a piece of paper, her 4th marriage. her and freako already live together, and they lived together when the order was signed in the first place. a marriage license wont change his history of being a wife beater or a drug addict. It won't change their living arrangements.
I would possibly consider agreeing to have the order dropped at the completion of his probation, with ZERO violations(which is highly unlikely) and that will be in 27 months. He was put on Zero Tolerance probation last september, and by february he violated 4 times...overdosed on heroin, dropped dirty, didn't show(his excuse was he couldn't afford it) for a drug test, and got caught driving on a suspended license. Not to mention the little incident where my ex took him to detroit to purchase heroin, he didn't come back from the drug house, she picked up a random guy on the side of the road, took him back to her house, where the guy beat her and stole her car. and yes, I have this all in a police report. She was stupid enough to actually tell the police she and him went to detroit to purchase narcotics.

So i really don't see how marrying him would change anything.

[texas1001]

So, it sounds like it is your responsibility, if your children are in the harm that you claim they are in, to hire an attorney and try to go for custody to have the kids live with you instead.

I really don't see any way to take care of this without an attorney. Good luck to you.

[FatherWhoWon]

So, it sounds like it is your responsibility, if your children are in the harm that you claim they are in, to hire an attorney and try to go for custody to have the kids live with you instead.

I really don't see any way to take care of this without an attorney. Good luck to you.

The children do live with the OP. They first mom once a week, per the very first post.