Ex Violating a No Contact Order Between Her Boyfriend and My Kids

[dead_onion]

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Michigan

hi
I have a no contact order against my ex that prohibits her from have a certain person near my kids due to multiple domestic violence convictions and drug convictions, as well as other convictions.

This person, "john" just got out of jail last week.

My kids went to their mom's last night for their weekly visit.
My daughter, who is almost 6, told me when she got home, that moma has a friend over that looks just like "john" but she is calling him a different name. I asked how long he was at the house for, and she said the whole time, and he slept in mom's bed with her.

The court order says "defendant shall not have any contact with "john" during her parenting time, and that "neither party shall have a relationship with a felon around the minor children"

so what should I do?
if I ask her about it, she is just going to lie and deny it.
should I wait until the kids go next week and then bring the police over?
who will get in trouble? will they cart him or her or both of them off to jail?

thanks

- - - Updated - - -

cmon people!! Dogmatique where are you??

[Dogmatique]

You DO realize that we are volunteers here, right? With lives of our own?

Good. Now we've got that cleared up, are you seriously going to take your 5 year old's word that John is actually John?

[dead_onion]

cmon.
yeah I am.
What is the probability it isn't? He just got out of jail a few days ago, which my daughter knew nothing about, and suddenly she is telling me that there is a guy at the house that sleeps in moms bed and looks just like him.
I didn't ask for this information, she volunteered it.

[Dogmatique]

Your choice.

I wouldn't take either of my 5 year old grandchildren's word that Mommy was with <insert name here> unless I saw it myself.

Heck for the longest time I was called Mommy by one of them!

But more to the point, what do you want to accomplish here?

[dead_onion]

well I guess I don't want a drug addict that has a history of beating women up being around my children for starters.
I don't even want them being around their mom at this point, she ignores court orders that were put in place to ensure the kids safety, lives in a filth, has no gas, is literally a fall down drunk
this guy hit her with a belt while her 7 year old was in the house...this is what SHE told me. I don't want my kids around that crap.

[Dogmatique]

I understand your concerns. Truly.

But Mom is not legally unfit, so you can't control that part. But seriously, what do you think is going to happen if you take the kids over and call the police only to find that Mom has a new "John"?

You're going to look like a vindictive ex looking for any excuse to get Mom into trouble.

If Mom is ignoring court orders, file an OSC.

[Mr. Knowitall]

My daughter, who is almost 6, told me when she got home, that moma has a friend over that looks just like "john" but she is calling him a different name. I asked how long he was at the house for, and she said the whole time, and he slept in mom's bed with her.

And if the person who "looks like" John but has a different name is a different person?

so what should I do?

Find a way to determine if this is in fact "John", with evidence that could be admissible in court.

if I ask her about it, she is just going to lie and deny it.

If it's not John, she would be telling the truth.

should I wait until the kids go next week and then bring the police over?

Why would the police want to become involved? We're talking about a provision of a custody order, right, not a personal protection order. You're free to ask the police (in person or via a non-emergency number) if they'll look into it, but a child custody dispute is a civil matter.

who will get in trouble?

If you call the police, they respond and find out it's John, your ex- could get in trouble if you take her violation of the order to court.
If you call the police, they respond and find out it's not John, I expect that they would not be very happy with your use of their time.

will they cart him or her or both of them off to jail?

Not unless this is a personal protection order issue, in which case they could arrest somebody who is violating the order; but you've told us it's only a custody order in which case nobody goes to jail.

[dead_onion]

im looking into hiring a PI to investigate but its gonna take a few weeks to scrape together the cash. She is engaged to marry this guy as of last friday, so I have no doubt it is the guy in question.

[Mr. Knowitall]

If in fact she's marrying "John", then presumably one or the other of you already has a motion pending before the custody court to address the problems that will arise for visitation once they're married and explicitly sharing the same household.

[dead_onion]

they already live together, and have since 3 days after my ex meeting him. That has already been established. In fact, immediately after I was able to get the no contact order established, by the judge, she told the judge point blank to her face that she is going to get married and then try and reverse the order. She is crazy.