Son's Girlfriend is Pregnant, He is Unemployed

[Momski]

My question involves child support in the State of: California

My son's girlfriend is 5 weeks pregnant and wants to keep the baby despite the wishes of all families involved. I understand we cannot dictate what she does with her body, so want to understand what my son's obligation is and how is that determined? He is in college (financed by us), has no job but wants to do the right thing for his child. How would child support be calculated for someone who is not working? The girlfriend is also in college and works part time only.

Also, am wondering if there is an advantage for the mother to remain single in terms of receiving state aide, health care for the child or other such benefits?

Is there an agency or place that would have information about this subject?

Thanks in advance.

[LawResearcherMissy]

How would child support be calculated for someone who is not working?

He will likely be imputed income of at least minimum wage. There is a calculator here.

Also, am wondering if there is an advantage for the mother to remain single in terms of receiving state aide, health care for the child or other such benefits?

She doesn't have to marry your son. I assume what you mean is should she leave him off the birth certificate? No, that's fraud, and when paternity is later established, the state will go after your son to recoup anything it paid out in aid to her.

[Momski]

Thanks - I was thinking more with the second question that if the girlfriend did not marry my son would she and the baby be more eligible for state aid than if they were married? Your answer was telling in that the state will expect some reimbursement from him no matter what. But will they also supplement to her above and beyond whatever he gives? I just don't see how they are going to survive and am looking ahead at what we can do if she is determined to keep the baby.

[Mr. Knowitall]

Her eligibility for public assistance will depend upon her income and household situation.

[LawResearcherMissy]

Eligibility for state aid turns on household income - whether you're married or single. It's my understanding that California's aid options are rather generous. She can look into options here, or by visiting her local county welfare office. I should think she'd at least be eligible for WIC, likely MediCal for herself and the baby, and possibly even CalFresh.

If Dad is owning up to his responsibility and paying support and Mom still requires State aid, that's a bit different. It's when dads skedaddle off into the sunset, don't bother to establish paternity, and leave Mom with no support that the State takes exception to.

I just don't see how they are going to survive and am looking ahead at what we can do if she is determined to keep the baby.

Daddles needs to do what so many of us did/do while in college - he needs to get a job. Yes, it's difficult and distracting, and it can take a lot more effort to hold down a job and study, too, but it can be done. Even if it's only 15 or 20 hours a week, because that's all that his school schedule can accommodate, fine. It's something, and it will help.

Your son and his girl have made things a bit difficult for themselves, but not impossible. Good on you for looking out for them, even though their choices aren't the ones you would have made.

[Momski]

Thanks for the clarification and list of resources about state aid. Hopefully, it won't come to that but it helps to even just feel like there is a place to start. Dad is planning to step up to the plate, get a job, finish school and support his child. It won't be easy - but it's one of life's lessons learned the hard way. I can't tell you how much I appreciate this service that you provide. It is so helpful! Thank you.

[evilteddy]

Welfare and all of that sounds good, but remember that she can change her mind at anytime and she can file for child support. Prepare your son since he does not have a job yet, to get use to his checks being small if a child support order being established. Both incomes are computed and whoever makes more, that's the parent who will be paying more. The non-residential parent will still pay even if they don't work when a child support order is established.

Child support and court orders are a hassle and often these things are settle without having to go through courts. It just depends on how responsible both parents are and also their communication. You will hear this sentence over and over again " child's best interest" ... if you guys go to court.

Good luck.

[Momski]

That's good to know, evilteddy. Welfare really doesn't sound good to me at all. My son and his girlfriend are young and in love and hoping to have a life together but both are very naive and unrealistic and an event like this can tear them apart. The odds are against them staying together but hopefully, with supportive family, they will have a better chance. A child deserves a stable home. We just can't support them financially. I hope it doesn't come to her being on welfare - really - but want to put all options out there and maybe it will shock them into a more realistic vision of the future. My son sees it and is pretty scared but girlfriend does not. I don't have high hopes that she will and as the decision is in her hands we will just wait and see. But more information is always a good thing going forward.

Somehow, I was under the impression that it came down to official decrees for child support and paternity etc... good to know that is something that they can work out independently of the system. It is also good to have that child support calculator to see what the bottom line is (although realistically the bottom line is probably not near enough).

[LawResearcherMissy]

good to know that is something that they can work out independently of the system.

They can, but they really shouldn't.

Young and in love is all well and fine, but the only thing that will preserve your son's rights if they do not marry - should he and Mom break up or Mom gets overly possessive after the birth - is a court ordered custody and visitation arrangement. (Child support is entirely separate.)

Look around this forum, and you'll find dozens of heartbroken Dads who wanted to keep things "friendly" and work outside the system. Then Mommy got a new fella, left the state, or otherwise changed the status quo, and now Dad has to drag her to court to fight for his right to see his kiddo.

Don't work outside the system. It can have devastating consequences later on.

[aardvarc]

Gotta ditto Missy's post. Picture this scenario: mom meets some guy WITH a job, who offers to let her and the baby move in - he'll provide shelter, power, cable, water, air conditioning, internet access, and even groceries - and all mom has to do is provide services for him in return. It's a "deal" that gets made thousands of times a day - and becoming a mom tends to change priorities for young women, especially when faced with the question of how to be able to afford to care for their child. Love may be love, but when push comes to shove, love doesn't buy diapers, or formula. Should mom ever take the chance to "move up" to a better situation for herself and the child, and your son doesn't have all his legal I's dotted and T's crossed in the form of court ordered visitation, he could very well find himself in the situation of having ZERO access to his child without a multi-month court process, and potential legal expenses to boot. As an unwed father, he'll have no rights that can be enforced until he goes to court and has those rights spelled out. (And as grandparents, your ability to have access to your grandchild is dependent on dad's rights.)

The flip side to that coin is that married parents enjoy the exact same legal standing regarding their children, in terms of custody, financial responsibility, etc.

So dad really has two choices: marry mom and work the situation as a unified couple, with both sides contributing to the raising of the child in whatever capacities they are able to agree on (one might earn more, while the other spends more time caring for the child, or both might work and do child care equally - whatever works for them, their schedules, their lifestyles, their resources, etc.), or ....don't marry mom, but get rights established ASAP and anticipate a court determining an exact amount dad will be liable for.

The odds are against them staying together but hopefully, with supportive family, they will have a better chance.

You hit the nail on the head right here. Being a single parent at a young age is the #1 predictor for a woman and child to spend a life in poverty. Supportive family is important - as non-supportive family can tear apart even relationships where money or ability to support a child isn't an issue (which it IS here). But the "biggie" will be which direction your son and mom decide to go - getting married gives BOTH sides equal rights and protections, and the ability to make decisions, face challenges, and solve problems among themselves, while not being married means that outside forces such as the courts will be making many decisions FOR him - most importantly how often he gets to see his child, and exactly how much it'll cost in financial terms. Marriage gives the parents control of the situation, each bearing full responsibility, while non-marriage takes away control and gives it to the courts, but with much better outlined "knowns" in terms of visitation and support. Finally, if dad NEITHER marries mom, NOR seeks to have his rights outlined for visitation, he is completely at mom's mercy, whims, hormonal surges, moods, time of the month, etc. when it comes to his child and he needs to be thinking of having enough jobs to keep her happy since he'd effectively have NO chips to play if mom becomes UNhappy, for ANY reason.