When to Refile to Amend Child Support

[wrestlingmom2012]

My question involves child support in the State of: Florida

We divorced in 2003 with 3 kids (14, 9, 7). My child support order was for $2600 (he makes substantially more than I do). We didn't file to have it automatically deducted and worked together to do it between us. This worked fine and he was good about keeping up his end of visitation and extras with the kids.

In 2007 when our oldest turned 18, he offered to reduce the child support by $600, leaving it at $2000. I didn't even think to challenge this as we really had a good working relationship in respect to the kids. That summer, he met and then the next year married a lady with 4 teenagers. Things dramatically changed.

Not only did the "extras" stop, visitation came hit or miss. Since he met his now wife, he has NEVER had alone time with the kids except when he attends my sons sporting events. No other time alone at ALL. It's either the whole gang together or nothing. When they were going to his house, one of the older kids would come to get them (we live about 20 minutes away). When I asked about him contributing to getting the 2 younger kids a mutal car to share and insurance, I was told he couldn't as his insurance was already high with him, her and 2 of her kids on it.

The relationship between him and the kids steadily deteriated. I bluntly talked to him several times, the kids twice in the last year have told him they need time with him etc. Nothing has changed. My youngest (16) has been over there 5 nights in the past 6 months. Our middle (18) has spent maybe 3 hours with him so far this year.

When our middle turned 18 in May, he sent an email that pointedly said, My next CS deposit will include the adjustment of half the amount. Yeah, he decided on his own, that he was just reducing the payment to $1000. Even had he used the figures from our 2003 divorce (into which he's at the same company but has gotten several substantial promotions) the amount for support for 1 child would be more than $1000 a month. (Also, at this time I went back to our original orders and I see that he only used his annual income, not including his yearly bonuses which were anywhere from $40K - $75K. I worked there for 19 yrs so I know what they run).

I immediately sent him a calm email asking if he had even looked at any of the support guidelines or just decided on the amount on his own. I asked him to google it, use his current salary/bonus plus mine (gave it to him) and factor in the substantial time I had our youngest. I heard nothing at all back from him - except that our youngest almost immediately got a text from him saying he MUST start spending more time at his house...my kids literally laughed.

I waited a week (last week) and sent another email after he had deposited half of the normal child support amount. I asked again had he used the current income figures to determine the support amount. Again, no response.

I don't want this to turn any uglier than it already is...but I feel completely bullied. Using facts such as income isn't up for discussion as far as I'm concerned. Again, we haven't amended any paperwork since our original divorce in 2003.

Should I email him again and suggest that we come together with copies of our tax returns and do the worksheet together and go based on that - which I will be at the mercy of that number since I have no idea what he makes now, except that it's more than in 2003 or should I simply let him know that unless we can come up with a mutal decision, I plan to refile?

Had he started a discussion instead of bullying me into what he wanted to give me, I would be willing to work....but he won't even give me the respect of a reply.

I appreciate your time and look forward to your suggestions.

[PQN]

Technically, if he has never gone back to court, he still owes you $2600.

Have you run the numbers through the calculators? What do they say he should pay based on your best estimate of his current pay?

You could file in court and ask that he be held in contempt for nonpayment. He would likely file for a modification at that point.

[distressedmom]

Agreed-

You can go to court to enforce the order, but you will need to be prepared to explain why you accepted less and then waited so long to enforce.


Read up what you can on contempt hearings and consider talking to some attorneys.
Agreeing to not follow an order invites complications.

[wrestlingmom2012]

I looked at our original order tonight and in reference to CS it simply says, husband will deposit into wife's account $xxxx.xx on the 1st of each month and $xxxx.xx on the 15th of each month.

Nothing about changing when each child turns 18.

The reason I went along with it? I was not able to afford an attorny the first time he did it. I did not realize that his increase in income in the 4 yrs before might have made it the same.

When he did it this years with no regards to ANY discussion to me, I decided I was tired of being bullied.

I know his income has substantially increased in the 9 yrs and even when I do the calculated based on our old incomes, it's more for 1 child than he's paying.

Had he simply discussed it and done the work sheet, it wouldn't be headed where it is...I'm seeing an attorney next week. Im tired of being bullied.