How Much Time Do Grandparents Get

[krissy22]

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Indiana

I have a question in regards to how much time a grandparent can get. I have a grand daughter who is 4 years old. The mother, who is my ex daughter-in-law has full physical and legal custody. My son has supervised visitation and it going to state prison for a few years soon. I got an attorney and I am asking the court to give me one weekend every month and 4-5 days a month for several hours. What are my chances of getting this time? My grand daughter has had about 4 overnights with me per year the last few years and I take part in some of the supervised visits now.

[Dogmatique]

Honestly? Not good at all. You might get a few hours per month.

Please understand that if you sue, you're going to be suing BOTH parties. And if you lose, you'll likely never see your grand-daughter again unless it's on Dad's time.

[aardvarc]

And when she says "on dad's time", she doesn't mean INSTEAD of dad or taking the place of dad during dad's scheduled time (which he won't have while he's incarcerated), she means during the time when dad is ACTUALLY exercising his time (after release).

Read what Doggie said VERY carefully.

Courts are incredibly unwilling to FORCE a parent to make their child visit anyone except a legal parent. Grandparent rights are generally granted when the grandparents have played a SIGNIFICANT role in the children's lives, such as the children living with the grandparents, or the grandparents raising the child for a period of time (or like the TV show "Raymond" where the grandparents live across the street and see the children on an almost daily basis). 4 visits a year isn't anywhere close to that standard, and realistically, unless there is overwhelming evidence to the contrary, courts tend not to second guess the parents about who they want their children around, even grandparents. The courts trust the judgment of the parent to say "no", and that usually means you've got to convince the court that NOT ordering visitation would be damaging to the children (there are children who see their pediatricians more than 4 times a year, so you've got a major uphill battle there).

Suing a parent in court over their child is about one of the absolute most aggressive and confrontational acts a person can take. It's usually only recommended when ALL other efforts to gain access to the child have failed (ie lost of blowing sunshine up mom's skirt to keep her happy), AND when there is significant history of intense and lengthy contact between child and grandparent to support such a case. Bringing a case without those two elements does two things, (a) it makes mom your mortal enemy for the rest of your life such that you're not likely to see the child for 3/4ths of a second longer than spelled out in any court order that you have a long shot to procure, and (b) it virtually guarantees that if you loose, mom and child will disappear forever and dad will have the unhappy burden of trying to find them and establish visitation again once released - making two generations of your offspring unhappy with you. Please consider very carefully the situation the CHILD will be placed in, and ask yourself what is in the CHILD's best interest before you take the step of suing - because once those papers are filed and mom is aware, you'll never get a chance to handle it any other way and risk never seeing the children again.

[krissy22]

Thank you! Would it make a difference if I am being granted part of the supervised visits now? My son is on now on house arrest until he goes to jail and they are using my house for 20hrs per month for the next 3 months. A third party is coming in the house as well from her side. Would this make any difference to the courts? I also show up for soccer games, gymnastics, etc. I usually see my granddaughter twice a month when things are good between us. I'm also afraid that she will move. Can she do this and can I fight her on it if I get grandparent time with my petition to the courts? What kind of proof can I show the courts of my time with my granddaughter other than my word?

[Dogmatique]

There is absolutely nothing to be done about her moving.

In a relocation case, the court has basically two options. They can switch custody so the other parent becomes primary (obviously not possible here), or they allow the relocation.

In fact, without wanting to sound obnoxious ( ) , I'd perhaps be encouraging Mom to move asap.

Twice a month is not likely to convince a court that there is a strong and stable bond and that lack of visitation would be so terrifically harmful to the child's development that the parent's rights should be overridden.

Your son's parenting time is his - if you're present, that's not going to matter.