Can I Adopt My Ex-Girlfriend's Daughter

[jk]

While his analogy may have been extreme, .

extreme? I don't believe so. Here we have a man, with no legal relationship to the child, that believes just because he has money to throw at this (as he put it) is not only above the law but somehow in a position to decide what is right for everybody else involved all in the name of; the betterment of society.

To Hell with the fact the child has legal parents. To Hell with the fact the mother would not relinquish her parental rights willingly. We'll just throw money at it. That makes it right, right?

and did anybody notice this:

My ex has three children with different fathers and my "daughter's" is believed to be in jail or a half way house.

somehow morphed to this:

And he is currently in jail for lack of child support.

which is it? Is he in jail or you don't know?

[jbesaw]

All of her blood relatives will sign affidavits for me as I have been her "Daddy" for 5 years now (she is 7). I have checks for her schooling, her school clothes, pictures, I have been Santa Claus and Easter Bunny. I am currently the father contact at her school and have been since she started preschool. I have been to every parent teacher meeting. They (Mom, sister, brother and her) lived with me for 3 years + and her mother and I were to be married. Her bio father will sign an affidavit also. Further, a home study will be a great outcome. My nephew lives with me now. I didn't think I was supposed to write allot of info. Only basics but, I thought this worth mention. All of this is voluntary by the way. Both her current parents agree and want it. Anywho, I think I have a good shot.

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I only know what she tells me about his current location. Which is one or the other, either half way house or jail for child support.

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I also have checks with child supprt written on some of them dating back to our break up.

[jk]

All of her blood relatives will sign affidavits for me as I have been her "Daddy" for 5 years now (she is 7). I have checks for her schooling, her school clothes, pictures, I have been Santa Claus and Easter Bunny. I am currently the father contact at her school and have been since she started preschool. I have been to every parent teacher meeting. They (Mom, sister, brother and her) lived with me for 3 years + and her mother and I were to be married. Her bio father will sign an affidavit also. Further, a home study will be a great outcome. My nephew lives with me now. I didn't think I was supposed to write allot of info. Only basics but, I thought this worth mention. All of this is voluntary by the way. Both her current parents agree and want it. Anywho, I think I have a good shot.

and here we go again. MY MONEY WILL BUY ME THIS CHILD.

I am currently the father contact at her school and have been since she started preschool

Oh, so you outright lied to the school. That will do you well in court.

Her bio father will sign an affidavit also

.Oh, you mean the one you are bribing since he will be off the hook for child support?

Both her current parents agree and want it.

I don't believe so because for this to happen, the mother either needs to relinquish parental rights or you would have to marry her and establish an actual family. You have said neither is a possibility.

Anywho, I think I have a good shot.

ya, keep thinking that. Be sure to post up those court orders when you get them.

[free9man]

Yet nowhere have you indicated anything that is likely to make a court even consider terminating mom's parental rights.

[Mr. Knowitall]

You don't get to take custody away from a fit parent, let alone terminate her parental rights, merely because she receives public assistance. You don't have legal standing.

If you want to go pay your corporate lawyer to blow smoke up your posterior, it's your money and your posterior.

(a) Except as otherwise provided in this chapter, a petition to adopt a child who is less than eighteen (18) years of age may be granted only if written consent to adoption has been executed by the following:

(1) Each living parent of a child born in wedlock, including a man who is presumed to be the child's biological father under IC 31-14-7-1(1) if the man is the biological or adoptive parent of the child.

(2) The mother of a child born out of wedlock and the father of a child whose paternity has been established by:

(A) a court proceeding other than the adoption proceeding, except as provided in IC 31-14-20-2; or

(B) a paternity affidavit executed under IC 16-37-2-2.1;

unless the putative father gives implied consent to the adoption under section 15 of this chapter.

(3) Each person, agency, or local office having lawful custody of the child whose adoption is being sought.

(4) The court having jurisdiction of the custody of the child if the legal guardian or custodian of the person of the child is not empowered to consent to the adoption.

(5) The child to be adopted if the child is more than fourteen (14) years of age.

(6) The spouse of the child to be adopted if the child is married.

(b) A parent who is less than eighteen (18) years of age may consent to an adoption without the concurrence of:

(1) the individual's parent or parents; or

(2) the guardian of the individual's person; unless the court, in the court's discretion, determines that it is in the best interest of the child to be adopted to require the concurrence.

In terms of this:

Her mother and biological father both agree.

I want to clarify that her mother has no intention of giving me custody she would not sign over her rights only him.

Both her current parents agree and want it.

Why do you keep changing story in relation to whether mom will agree? If she won't, she won't - and the rest is just fantasy or confabulation.

[jbesaw]

Am I missing the point. She wants custody. Only for me to be the father with weekends and pay support. Her current father is on board for giving up his rights to her. Because he knows that she loves me. And me her.

And to be straight. I didnt' realize I was replying back to the obnoxious insulting person. I thought someone with actual care had made a reply. To even suggest that I would "buy" my daughter is insulting and almost should be reported. If I made mention to corporate lawyers it was to say that I trust the firm I use. I have not even spoken to them and I would obviuosly deal with them in their family division on my own. And may get your advice. But you Sir are disrepectful to be nice.

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To everyone the Mom does not want to give her parental rights. There is no contest from anyone.

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I didn't realize this sight was to argue. I thought to get advice.

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And no. I didn't lie to the school. All of the schools had her birth certificate and knew what was going on. They didn't have a problem. They invited me to Daddy's day. Maybe it's just a nice town.

[free9man]

So clarify it for us one more time since you keep talking in figure eights: Dad is willing to sign off on adoption. Mom does not wish to terminate her rights but wants you to be able to adopt and become "daddy." You would not be an actual family unit but you would be given visitation and pay child support?

[jk]

To even suggest that I would "buy" my daughter is insulting and almost should be reported.

It's the little triangle to the lower left of the post box. Feel free to go ahead. You are the one trying to impress somebody with "having money to throw at this".

Am I missing the point.

Why yes...yes you are. If you adopt the child, it will no longer be the mothers child. It would be yours and yours alone. Anything else would automatically place the child in a broken home. That is definitely not in the child's best interest.


the thing is; you can continue to spend all you want on this child. You can still play santa claus and easter bunny and pay for a lear jet if that is what you want to do but it will be as a legal stranger.



oh, and to this:

And no. I didn't lie to the school. All of the schools had her birth certificate and knew what was going on. They didn't have a problem.

YOU are the one that said you are listed as the father on their records. Failing to correct such a mistake is no better than you telling them you are the father. That could cause the school some serious legal and logistical problems and I'm sure you wouldn't want that, right? If not, you need to go correct the records.

While there is nothing wrong with you being listed as an emergency contact, listing you as the father can create myriad problems.

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So clarify it for us one more time since you keep talking in figure eights: Dad is willing to sign off on adoption. Mom does not wish to terminate her rights but wants you to be able to adopt and become "daddy." You would not be an actual family unit but you would be given visitation and pay child support?

Ya, how do you like that; the child is adopted into a broken home. I'm betting that would go over huge with the judge.

[jbesaw]

yes to you

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I mean the nice guy
That is correct. Sorry if I have been unclear.

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So. Is it really impossible?

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And finally to the bad guy with no heart. To say that I had money to throw at this only meant that I had money to get a good attorney in order to get this good thing done. It doesn't mean that I intend to "buy" my daughter. Again you turn my words around.............I guess for fun? I am a good man Sir.

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If you could see her and the way she looks at me. You would understand. I know to you and a court it doesn't matter but I have to make sure is what I meant by saying I was to ignore your advice. It is on your tag line. I meant no disrespect. I guess you took it the wrong way. Or I'm right and your bad. I really don't want to believe that. Thanks. I will obviously find out tomorrow.

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I mean wether or not I have a chance.

I understand your broken home argument but, I hope that since it is already broken at least this is less broken.

I'll check back on this in a few to see if you have any other thoughts...........hopefully helpful. And then I will go back to my life. Could you at least cross your fingers?

[aaron]

It would appear that the biggest cause of consternation is that you were clumsy with your description of the facts. It's important to be clear, for reasons that no longer need to be explained.

There's no process by which one parent can give up his rights, the other parent can keep her rights, and a third party can do a half-adoption of the first parent's rights. In an adoption, the rights of the biological parents are severed in favor of the adoptive parent(s).

What you used to hear about, in some states, would be a same-sex couple who wanted to both be legal parents to a child, for example a child born of one partner through a sperm donor. A proceeding would follow in which the court would actually sever the rights of the biological parent in order that she and her partner could adopt the child. That's not something a parent should take lightly.

Nobody here can promise you that a court will be receptive to what you propose and, beyond question, it would be much easier and cheaper to achieve in a stepparent context. With a stepparent, where there's a fit parent, fit stepparent, and an absent parent willing to consent, the process is usually pretty smooth (albeit, in most states, full of legal steps and requirements that must be fulfilled, which is why most people use lawyers).